Tag Archives: inspiration

Birthday Wishes to My Favorite Nonagenarian

Posted on by

IreneWas.Retro copyToday I raise my glass with heartfelt “Happy Birthday” wishes to my mother, Irene, who is 95. She is an atypical nonagenarian. She continues to inspire me through her active lifestyle and caring nature. Never shy about sharing her thoughts, feelings and opinions, here are a few gems of knowledge that she has passed on to me over the years:

Be curious. My mother’s interest in others and the world around her makes her an engaging conversationalist. She can talk about literature, music, art, theatre, movies, poetry, politics, religion, world affairs, and just about any topic. Through my firsthand experience and observation of her interaction with family members and friends over the years, I have noticed that she is a master at inquiry and conversation.

Make smart choices. At the age of 19, trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, my mother offered me an important piece of advice: “The world isn’t going to show up on your door step. You have to go out and meet the world!” In her words, she was telling me that in life you can choose to either be passive or active. The active approach ensures greater control and delivers better results than sitting and waiting for things to happen.

Serve others. One of my mom’s favorite comments is “When you care, you’re there.” Throughout her life, she has attended every shower, wedding, calling hours, funeral, memorial service, birthday, anniversary or celebration that she was invited to. She has made and delivered food, crocheted baby blankets and given gifts. It doesn’t matter if the recipient is a close family member or friend of a friend of a friend. If there’s a connection, she is there. This simple advice can have profound impact on other people’s lives.

Remain active. Each of us experiences diminishing physical, mental or emotional energy as we age. There are days when my mother will completely surprise me with her deep sense of determination. “Well, I couldn’t sleep, so I got up at 4:00 a.m. and baked an apple crisp, then I went back to bed at 6:30.” What?? I’m decades younger than she is and I have never done that. (And quite frankly I’m not sure if I ever will).

Irene-LifeSaver1930sDo what you love. My mom worked as a Life Savers girl in the 1930s. As a naturally gifted singer, she served as church organist and choir director. She taught in the parochial schools, then moved into the public schools. My mom received her first Bachelor of Arts degree in elementary education at the age of 47 and her second B.A. in Painting at the “young” age of 80. She says that in every step of the way, she was called to do what she did in her work. She loved both music and teaching. As a retiree, she continues her love of gardening and painting. Lessons like these are around us every day. You just have to pay attention.

The next time you’re feeling down or uninspired, think of the words that guide my mom through moments like that every day: “This too shall pass.” Take a deep breath, be grateful for who you are and what you have accomplished in life, and carry on. Who knows? You may be privileged someday to be a nonagenarian and inspire others.

A Simple, Powerful Statement

Posted on by

philosophyDecades ago when I tried to wrap my young mind around Philosophy 101, I struggled to understand its inherent polarities, complexities and of course the never-ending string of thought-provoking questions asked by my professor. At 19, I saw the sky as the sky and that was it. I hadn’t yet explored why the sky existed, how far it extended or if a parallel universe existed. Over the years, I have continued my fascination with the field of philosophy and the brilliant minds who have explored – and continue to explore –  inquiry, knowledge and thought.

In recent years, I have enjoyed the various 21-day meditation series created and hosted by Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey. They often include the Sanskrit Mantra “So Hum,”  which simply means “I am.”

Such a simple statement, yet within it lies a vast terrain for contemplation and exploration.

In my professional presentations, I often begin with an engaging kick-off activity that asks audience members to think of a word or phrase that best describes who they think they are. Then I ask them to pair up with another person in the room to describe each other with just one word or phrase, always in writing, never spoken. They do several rounds of this, with different partners, before revealing to each other how other people described them. The activity has the same result: Surprise and delight. People come away from the activity feeling validated. Often their perception of self comes close to what other people perceived. Once in a while there are some differences. The activity drives home the point that perception and reality are not always exactly the same.

People’s responses to this activity reinforce the notion that we are conditioned to believe that we must be validated by others to feel whole and complete. The human brain is designed to “name” and categorize every living being, object or experience. We create and attach labels to every thought and the brain stores that information for future retrieval (if retrieved at all).

While this activity has positive, consistent results, it reminds me that when we are truly whole and complete, there is no need to fill in the blank. We are enough as is. We simply say with immense satisfaction and fulfillment, “I am.”

Are you?

Step Into Your Passion

Posted on by
uF3RpuuE

www.punchbrothers.com

It is a rare occurrence…to see people living their passion. When you experience that, you are inspired to find your own passion.

While driving on the highway tuned into to NPR this summer, I heard a Performance Today piece featuring Chris Thile of the eclectic musical group, Punch Brothers. Thile’s exquisite mandolin performance in the studio brought tears to my eyes. I listened with such intensity; I had never heard a mandolin played with such mastery and control.

Fast forward to this weekend. While strolling through the music building at Oberlin College (one of our favorite places), I noticed a Punch Brothers poster displayed on a wall. My memory kicked into high gear. “That name sounds familiar. Is that the same musician I heard on NPR?” Yes, it was. The group was in Oberlin this week sharing a series of master classes with young aspiring music students.

My husband and I decided to attend a 90-minute “Listening Tour” conversation on campus with Punch Brothers members Chris Thile, mandolin, Gabe Witcher, fiddle, Noam Pikelny, banjo, Chris Eldridge, guitar, and Paul Kowert, upright bass, along with guest singer/songwriter Aoife O’Donovan. Using their iPhones or computers, all of the performers played a diverse range of specific pieces of music that inspire them, including Bonnie Raitt’s cover of Joni Mitchell’s That Song About the Midway, Buck Owens’ Cryin’ Time, Sufjan Stevens’ Death With Dignity and Kendrick Lamar’s Alright. I began to understand what inspires musical creativity. Following the listening, the artists performed three songs, each one played masterfully. Two featured the clear harmony of Thile and O’Donovan. At the end of the performance, students gathered around each virtuoso, inspired by the music.

Over the years, I have had many conversations with people about the topic of passion. The word passion unfortunately has been reduced at times to a sophomoric description of something that we like. “I’m passionate about gardening.” “I have a true passion for life.” Without a fully memorable, meaningful experience to accompany it, passion is just a word. Seeing and hearing the flawless performances of the Punch Brothers and Aoife O’Donovan showed me what true passion looks, sounds and feels like. It is a complete sensory experience. Through intense facial expressions and body movement, the performers revealed their passion for music, like how Thile’s heels abruptly raised off the floor when he hit a certain note or O’Donovan’s gentle smile while holding a soft note. In watching the performers’ total immersion, I became inspired. There was nowhere else I wanted to be…just then.

How are you living your passion? How do you inspire others?

Oscar Gets a Voice

Posted on by

For one day each year the world watches the Academy Awards televised broadcast (and streaming video) with great anticipation. Who will stroll down the red carpet? What divine designs will women wear? What will the Oscar winners say during their acceptance speeches?

This year I was pleasantly surprised that several celebrities colored outside the lines a bit and delivered thoughtful, heartfelt acceptance speeches. In years past, I often marveled at the speech-less-ness of award recipients who inserted awkward uh’s, um’s, you know’s, and oh’s as they stumbled through the most important speech they would ever make. Not this year. Instead of the ordinary, “I would like to thank my agent, and I would like to thank my director, and I would like to thank my fellow cast members…”, the messages were clear and thought provoking. Here are my top picks, in no particular order:

Patricia Arquette (Best Supporting Actress, Boyhood): Arquette used her limited time on the platform to espouse equal pay. Even Meryl Streep shouted a resounding “Yes!!” from her front-row seat.

Common and John Legend (Best Song, Glory, Selma): Co-writers and performers Common and Legend reminded us that 50 years after the historic walk in Selma, our country and the world still struggles with racial injustice and inequality. Their words encouraged us to reflect on what we can do as individuals to continue the fight.

Julianne Moore (Best Actress, Still Alice): My mother-in-law, who passed away in 2013, had Alzheimer’s, so I was pleased to hear Julianne Moore use some of her acceptance speech to educate the audience about the disease.

J.K. Simmons (Best Supporting Actor, Whiplash): Simmons urged viewers around the world to call their mom or dad if they are fortunate enough to still have them on this Earth. I love calling my 94-year-old mom. My dad? I talk to him too and have been reunited with him several times in my dreams.

Graham Moore (Best Screenplay Adaptation, The Imitation Game): Moore spoke openly about his attempt at age 16 to commit suicide. That took courage. He encouraged the audience to celebrate what makes anyone unique and to be more open minded in trying to understand others who are different.

AskHerMoreInstagramSmallReese Witherspoon: Although her work in Wild did not earn her an Oscar, her voice was heard more from the red carpet and social media than from the stage. Witherspoon posted an Instagram supporting #AskHerMore, part of The Representation Project started last year by Amy Poehler’s Smart Girls. The Instagram encouraged red carpet interviewers to ask deeper questions than just “Who are you wearing?”

Watching the Academy Awards got me thinking: If you were standing on a platform that could reach millions of people around the world, what powerful message – of hope or change – would you choose to share with your audience?

Oh, The Places You’ll Go!

Posted on by

130

In the classic children’s book, Oh, The Places You’ll Go!, author Dr. Seuss (Theodor Seuss Geisel) begins with:

Congratulations!

Today is your day.

You’re off to Great Places!

You’re off and away!

How wonderful that children are given a glimpse of possibility at such a young age. Let me remind you that at any age you can still dream and imagine the possibilities that lie ahead of you in your life.

When I received my Master of Arts degree in Interpersonal Communication in 1997, the commencement speaker used the theme, Oh, The Places You’ll Go! A smart move because most of the graduates in the auditorium that day grew up reading Dr. Seuss books. Many could recite chapter and verse.

You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself

any direction you choose.

As you embark on a new year’s journey, consider the places you want to go that haven’t quite made it to your priority list. They may reside in the recesses of your brain. You may think about doing them more than actually doing them. What would it take for you to focus on what you want in your life? I use a simple A-B-C method, as outlined in my book, Everything I Do Positions Me: The Simple Path to Professional Success. The key word here is simple. Here it is:

A: Where are you currently positioned? (your current status, current behavior)

C: Fast forward to Where do you want to be positioned? What is your ultimate goal? Your desired future?

B: What sandwiches the gap between A (here and now) and C (the future) is B. What action steps will get you to C?

Example:

A: Poor presentation skills. (current)

C: Polished presenter. (future)

B: Action steps:

  1. Attend a presentations workshop.
  2. Join a Toastmasters group.
  3. Ask my boss to give me more presentation assignments.
  4. Practice in front of the mirror two hours weekly.
  5. Submit a proposal to present at a national professional association conference.

You get the picture. You can go anywhere you want in your career and life. Focus on the things you want most. Create the action steps to get you there. Enjoy the results. It’s that simple.

You’ll be on your way up!

You’ll be seeing great sights!

You’ll join the high fliers

who soar to high heights.

Visit Seussville or Amazon to order your own copy of Oh, The Places You’ll Go! to keep you motivated! Watch a short YouTube video of the book, read by actor John Lithgow.

Title and quotes are copyrighted material, Dr. Seuss Enterprises.

A Life Well Lived…and Celebrated

Posted on by
MatkaValleyLegacyLast week, my 93-year-old mother was included among 24 outstanding seniors and 5 senior advocates honored for exemplary community contributions and lifetime achievements in my hometown area. As each honoree’s name was called, a brief biographical description captured the essence of that person’s interests and passions in both life and career. Every individual being honored was a dedicated volunteer and activist. As I listened with great intensity, I was reminded that we can either choose to remain passive or become actively engaged in the direction and purpose of our life.
The comment made by a retired veteran and amputee who happened to be one of the top five award recipients stuck with me. In a strong New York borough accent, he said, “You just gotta do whatcha gotta do.” This is what his comment means to me:

Do what you want to do. There is a big difference between wanting something and needing something. When you do what you want to do, you are unstoppable. Nothing and no one can stand in the way of your success and achievements.

Believe that you can do it. It didn’t matter whether someone volunteered with children, landscaped a local park or helped to feed the hungry, they all believed that they could contribute their talents and skills to the cause.

Put your best effort into everything you do. None of the honorees struck me as the highly competitive type, who just wanted to rack up points for popularity. Giving their best was ingrained in their DNA. They gave only their best to everything they did, whether at home, at work, or in their community.

Serve others and serve yourself well. There is no greater joy in life than contributing to another person’s well-being and success. Teaching English to a new immigrant or serving meals at the local shelter, no matter what you do, when you do it for others, it makes you feel good about yourself and what you are able to give.

Inspire others. Your actions will do more to inspire others than you could ever imagine. When I left the luncheon, my heart was full, and I was inspired to do more and give more of myself to others.

Fast forward a few decades. Imagine that you are a senior in your 60s, 70s, 80s or even 90s, being honored for your lifetime achievements. What will they say about you? Return to today: What can you give of your talents and skills to others between now and then?

Remembering Mattie Stepanek

Posted on by

2003-Mattie-head-shot-LO

Ten years ago this week, America lost a young hero, Mattie Stepanek. His name may not be widely recognized, yet, his poetry and his passion for life touched the hearts of young and old alike. Mattie Stepanek achieved more in his short life – just 13 years – than most do in a lifetime.

I first discovered the poetry of Mattie Stepanek while standing in a bookstore in 2001. A table near the front door was filled with dozens of copies of a featured book entitled Heartsongs. It was the cover’s whimsical design and vibrant colors that captured my attention. I opened to the first page of the book. Greeting me was a photograph of the author, Matthew Joseph Thaddeus Stepanek, along with his biography. I began reading his heartwarming story. In this book of poetry, I selected and read several poems. As I read his story, I learned that Mattie was born with a rare disease, Dysautonomic Mytichondrial Myopathy, which interrupts the body’s automatic functions, like breathing, heart rate, blood pressure and digestion. It also causes muscle weakness.

Mattie began writing poetry at the age of three. From an early age, he accepted his disease, even though he required a ventilator, regular blood transfusions, medicine, therapy, leg braces and eventually a specially designed power wheelchair. As a prolific author of several New York Times best sellers, he appeared on all of the major television networks (yes, he appeared on Oprah), cable and radio stations and was featured in most major print publications.

His message was simple: Love life and love one another. Despite a life-threatening disease, he joyously embraced life and treasured each day. The disease claimed the lives of Mattie’s three older siblings and then in 2004, it claimed his life. He wrote seven books and created several audio recordings. He regarded himself as a peacemaker because he truly cared about the global community.

I keep his poetry books on my bedroom nightstand, ready to be picked up and read any time I need to listen to Mattie’s words of hope, love and joy. To learn more about Mattie’s legacy and the continuing work of his mother, Jeni Stepanek, Ph.D., and the Mattie J.T. Stepanek Foundation, visit www.mattieonline.com. Be sure to sign the petition by July 17, 2014 to officially create a Mattie J.T. Stepanek Peace Day.

“Peace is possible…it can begin simply over a game of chess and a cup of tea.” Mattie J.T. Stepanek

Photo: Mattieonline.com