Need to Have a Conversation About an Important Topic? Watch a Movie!

Screen Shot 2019-01-16 at 11.57.43 AM

Photo credit: Oliver Cole for unsplash.com

“Wasn’t that a great movie?” I asked the woman who had been sitting one seat away from me in the theatre. “Yes!” she quickly replied. “I really enjoyed it. I could see this movie winning Best Picture at the Oscars,” I said. She agreed.

That movie is The Green Book. If you haven’t yet seen the movie, I highly recommend that you see it on the big screen. Everyone needs to see this movie.

The woman who I struck up a conversation with – and her friend – are African-American. My husband and I are Caucasian. We all agreed that everyone needs to see this movie to be reminded of the history of our American culture, and to give voice to centuries-old issues that we face to this day, like racism and inequality.

I could have easily walked past her after the movie ended. Instead, I chose to engage in dialogue. Pretty soon, her friend joined in, then two more African-American women, then another Caucasian couple. We formed a circle in the hallway outside the theatre, sharing our thoughts and feelings about the movie, and about our related life experiences.

When I served as a Graduate Teaching Assistant in graduate school more than two decades ago, the professor overseeing our Communication 101 course created the class syllabus which included the viewing and discussion of the classic 1957 movie, Twelve Angry Men.

I remember the conversation within my two classes, and how shocked I was by how little the students knew about the topic, about our justice system, power, persuasion, ethics and the decision-making process. It got me thinking: If you need to have an important conversation about a sensitive topic, let a movie guide you through the process. 

You see, watching a movie with a diverse group of people, like your co-workers, creates a safe space for open dialogue because you are first observing the story, then responding to its content and lessons. It provides a good starting point for a conversation. Most companies and organizations invest great time and money in developing leadership, management and diversity programs. A great way to enhance any one of these programs is to include one or several “required watching” movies that spark open dialogue.

Until this movie, I had never heard of the real-life Green Book. The African-American women knew, though. One woman shared her childhood experience. She and her siblings were traveling with their mother in the Deep South in the late 1950s. They arrived at a Holiday Inn late at night in search of lodging. Unfortunately, blacks were not welcome at that particular hotel. Fortunately, the woman on duty secretly accommodated the family by offering a small room on the first floor if the woman’s family could be checked out before 4:00 a.m. The mother agreed and was grateful for the kindness of the night desk clerk, so grateful in fact that for the rest of her life, she patronized Holiday Inns whenever she traveled. She never forgot the generosity of that night clerk.

The other Caucasian man shared a story about his Army days, traveling through a small town in the South with his fellow soldiers on furlough and the racism that he witnessed because one of the men in his troop was black. With some finessing, he and his Army buddies were able to get their friend the train ticket that he needed so he could keep traveling with the troop to their final destination.

What started as a simple question to a fellow moviegoer had now grown into a full-blown, enriching dialogue among eight strangers. Each one of us had different backgrounds, histories, and lived experiences, yet we found a way to look at and talk about the common themes in the movie: Compassion. Kindness. Protection. Equality. Friendship.

When you listen, and when you value others’ perspectives, you open up your heart to hear and acknowledge their voices.

What movie could you watch with your team? What conversation could you initiate that could open eyes, enlighten, and even change perspectives?

Celebrating International Day of Peace Raises Our Collective Conscience

International_Peace_Day_logo

United Nations symbol for International Day of Peace

September 21 marks the International Day of Peace, a recognition that promotes  peace around the world in countries, cities, and communities. The 2017 theme  is Together for Peace: Respect, Safety and Dignity for All. An event map indicates where events are being held around the world, including meditation, music, marches, and other events.

Put into action in 1981 by a United Nations Resolution, and celebrated for the first time a year later, the International Day of Peace reminds us all to bring peace into our lives, whether here at home or abroad. The International Day of Peace uses education as a means to encourage peaceful co-existence and safe, open dialogue as a means of understanding.

Some of us are more removed from speaking out for peace because our lives seem rather “peaceful” as they are. Yet for millions of people of all cultures, genders, ages, and economic classes around the world, they have only known war; they have not experienced peace.

When we consider war, we may think that battles are only fought with destructive weapons and artillery force. Yet, some people experience a war of a different kind as they try to simply live their lives as best they can. A war of words can be a form of abuse. A war-torn body can show signs of a domestic dispute and physical abuse. Belittling another human being can leave scars of emotional abuse.

Within families, wars are fought too, with relatives often choosing sides, deciding whom they will defend. Within companies, wars among departments or staff can occur when judgment and ego get in the way of collaboration and cooperation.

How are you making peace within your world? Are you encouraging those around you to share their thoughts and opinions through open dialogue? Are you trying to look at challenges and disputes, then identifying potential solutions? To make the world a better place begins with one person: You.

The United Nations has created 17 Sustainable Development Goals to improve the lives of every person on the planet, which include:

1.   No poverty.

2.   Zero hunger.

3.   Good health and well-being.

4.   Quality education.

5.   Gender equality.

6.   Clean water and sanitation.

7.   Affordable and clean energy.

8.   Decent work and economic growth.

9.   Industry, innovation and infrastructure.

10. Reduced inequalities.

11. Sustainable cities and communities.

12. Responsible consumption and production.

13. Climate action.

14. Life below water.

15. Life on land.

16. Peace, justice and strong institutions.

17. Partnerships for the goals.

As you consider your contributions to your community and the world, what goals are you working on every day to create a better life for all? Peruse The Lazy Person’s Guide to Saving the World, compiled by the United Nations, and you will find many simple tasks that you can complete easily. Share it with co-workers. Create a conversation. Take action.

Women’s Voices Are Significant to the World

iwd-logomain2Today marks International Women’s Day, one day each year that celebrates the “social, economic, cultural, and political achievements of women.” This year’s theme is Be Bold For Change. Take a moment to honor and recognize the women who have served as positive role models in your life, who have inspired and motivated you, and who have bravely charted new territory as pathfinders.

Now imagine your life without them. Oh, wait a minute. You wouldn’t be here if not for a woman! This message is being reinforced by leaders of the January 21, 2017 Women’s March. They are encouraging women to participate in A Day Without A Woman on this International Women’s Day by not spending any money (or alternatively supporting women- and minority-owned businesses)  and by not engaging in any work.

Think about all of the women who have encouraged and inspired you. Mothers. Grandmothers. Aunts. Sisters. Daughters. Granddaughters. Great-granddaughters. Sisters-in-law. Mothers-in-law. Teachers. Bosses. Co-workers. Neighbors. Religious leaders. Shop owners. Community leaders. Political leaders. Friends.

I for one would not be the person I am today were it not for the courageous, intelligent, fearless women who came before me.

On this day, I honor my maternal grandmother who emigrated from Poland to begin a new life in America. She spoke no English when she arrived at Ellis Island. As a wife and mother, she ran a large household (with seven children) on a small stipend. Her values of hard work, discipline, and sacrifice were passed on to her children.

My 96-year-old mother continues to inspire me every day. I have enjoyed many lengthy conversations with her over the years, listening to her life story, and understanding her remarkable life as a first generation American. It took her ten years to work her way through college to receive her first degree – at the age of 47. At the age of 80, she received her second college degree. Although she could have audited classes for free as a senior citizen, she preferred to pay for every class so she could earn a degree.

Many women have inspired me from afar. The list is too long to include all of them here, yet, a few stand out…women of all ages and backgrounds:

“Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” Gloria Steinem

 

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” Maya Angelou

 

“Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.”

Tina Fey

 

“Let us remember: One book, one pen, one child, and one teacher can change the world.” Malala Yousafzai

 

“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” Mother Teresa

 

“Never interrupt someone doing what you said couldn’t be done.” Amelia Earhart

 

“One may walk over the highest mountain one step at a time.” Barbara Walters

Now more than ever, women’s voices must be heard. We are economic decision makers, leaders in education, innovators in science and technology, entrepreneurs, and nurturers of the human family. Our inclusive and collaborative style leads to positive change. A quick review of Forbes Magazine’s “The World’s 100 Most Influential Women” will remind you of the capabilities and accomplishments of women.

At some point today, pause for a moment, and silently thank the women who have encouraged, supported, and inspired you. Or better yet, pick up the phone and call them!

Follow more activity on:

#InternationalWomensDay

#BeBoldForChange

#ADayWithoutAWoman

Thank You, Harper Lee

harper lee youngThank you, Nelle Harper Lee, for opening our eyes to social injustice in the South in your Pulitzer Prize winning novel, To Kill a Mockingbird. The book has remained on the required reading list of just about every school in America for decades. Lee, who died on February 19 at the age of 89, leaves an indelible mark on American literature.

Lee’s book was released in 1961. Just one year later, To Kill a Mockingbird was released as a movie, starring Gregory Peck as a well respected white attorney, Atticus Finch, in a small Alabama town, representing a black man wrongly accused of raping a white woman. Peck’s portrayal of Atticus Finch earned him an Academy Award for best actor. It was the humanity demonstrated by Atticus Finch that drew him close to our hearts: a professional man who treated each human being fairly and with respect, regardless of race, religion or economic status.

To Kill a Mockingbird is just as relevant today – 60+ years later – as it was when it was first released. It reminds us of the struggle and tremendous work behind our country’s civil rights movement. Exceptional literature challenges your thinking and opens your eyes, mind and heart to a different perspective, and expands your worldview.

When Lee’s Go Set a Watchman was published in 2015, some fans were disappointed to learn that their beloved Atticus Finch was portrayed as a different character altogether, a bigot and a racist. The book’s release now encourages us as readers to look at each piece of literature on its own and have a conversation. An excellent comparative analysis by Jonathan Sturgeon on Mockingbird and Watchman sheds light on the story behind the creation of the two books.

Millions of high school kids who were required to read Mockingbird thank you, Miss Lee, for educating them about social injustice. And for all those who faced discrimination, racism or bigotry, they thank you for giving voice to their lived experience.

Thank you, Miss Lee, for courageously saying what few people would at the time. Americans of all ages and backgrounds today are still learning the lessons from To Kill a Mockingbird and now Go Set a Watchman. Thank you for initiating the dialogue.

M370: A Deeper Message Went Missing

PuzzleEarthEvery day since March 8, the unexplained disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 was featured as the top news story on every major network. Experts from every industry and background were called upon for their thoughts, opinions and speculations about what could have happened. Expertise came from the fields of aeronautics, aviation, meteorology, oceanography, geography, security, terrorism. Yet one area of expertise was missing: intercultural communication.

For me, the aha moment came eleven days into the search for the vanished airplane. The media reported that on that day, officials from Thailand brought forward an important piece of information about a signal that had been detected within their air space. When asked why this information had not been shared earlier, Thai officials simply responded, “No one asked us.” The viewing audience must have been shocked to hear this. However, I understood the deeper meaning behind those words. I have travelled to Thailand. It is a beautiful country with beautiful people. As a culture, they do not draw attention to themselves, and they have a high respect for authority. It made sense to me that they would not come forward without being asked first.

Throughout the extensive media coverage, there were no conversations about the challenge of working with 26 different countries who were involved in solving this mystery. Whether actively involved in the search by land or by sea or being within the speculated flight path. the countries involved in this mission have vast cultural differences.

Westerners watched in disbelief as a Chinese man kicked a news videographer’s equipment out of frustration and deep grief after being told that the latest evidence revealed that the plane went down in the vast Indian Ocean, even though there was no solid physical evidence as proof. This action taught a lesson about the differences between high context and low context cultures. Respect is a national value within China. With media descending upon the victims’ families in a photo-taking frenzy within this highly sensitive moment, no respect was shown to the Chinese families. High context and low context culture (also known as the iceberg model) is the work of Edward T. Hall, an American anthropologist who created the field of intercultural communication. China is a high context culture, where communication is less verbally explicit. This means that shoving a microphone in someone’s face, seeking a reaction to the loss of a loved one (in a public venue, no less) is an affront to that culture.

Dutch social psychologist Geert Hofstede, the founder of comparative intercultural research, created the cultural dimensions theory that recognized that people differ across cultures in specific dimensions of values. His brilliant scholarly research began when he worked for IBM in the 1960s. His work can be found on the website, www.geert-hofstede.com. He is one of the foremost authorities in intercultural communication alive in the world today. Yet no one called him for an interview.

Amidst the large story of reporting the day-to-day findings of this horrific event, another story angle was completely missed. To me, M370 provides a fascinating case study in intercultural communication and how countries that are culturally diverse can find a way to work together to accomplish one common mission.

Events like this remind us that we are indeed part of a global society. To maneuver our way through this vast, unknown area, we must honor and respect our cultural differences. When we learn from the experience, we must pass on our knowledge so that others can learn.