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Make the Most of Being “In the Room” – Part 3

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To take full advantage of attending networking events, make the most of the time you have to connect with others. Since my recent posts have covered what to do when you are “in the room,” here are my tips on what not to do:

Don’t feel compelled to hand out as many business cards as you can. It’s not a competition to collect the most cards. Rather, concentrate on building relationships. It is better to meet fewer people who you will remember rather than more people who you will forget. Think quality, not quantity.

Don’t talk about yourself non-stop. There is nothing more tiring than someone who drones on and on about their wonderful self. Focus on the other person, not yourself. You will keep them engaged, and they will look forward to seeing you at future events.

Don’t wait for people to approach you…approach them first.  This puts you in charge of the conversation. When it is time for you to move on, you simply thank them for their time and move on.

Don’t talk to the same person throughout the evening. You don’t want to monopolize one person’s time. Give that person the freedom to mix and mingle with other people.

Don’t scan the room for other people to talk to while you’re talking with another person. You will make the person you are with feel unimportant. Remain focused on the conversation and then break free to talk with other people.

Don’t spend a lot of time with people you already know, unless you have something specific you want to discuss or you want to spend a few minutes touching base.

When you approach networking in a strategic way, you will get the most out the experience and so will others.

Make the Most of Being “In the Room” – Part 2

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As a continuation of last week’s post on what to do when you attend a networking event, here are my remaining tips:

Peruse who is in the room. If there is someone specific you want to meet or reconnect with, approach that person first. That way, you invest the time up front with the person or people you want to connect with the most.

Challenge yourself to meet several people you don’t know. Sometimes you just don’t feel like it. When you open yourself up to it, you will  usually make some great connections. This approach keeps it interesting for you.

Attend meetings and events by yourself. You will remain flexible and not have to rely on others. If you do attend an event with a colleague, agree to split up to meet some new people, and then come back together later in the event.

Practice the art of breaking away. Use several conversation break-away’s, such as, “It’s been great meeting you. I’m going to meet a few more people before the program begins.” Or “Excuse me. I need to freshen my beverage.”

Smile! There is nothing more inviting to another person, especially someone you don’t know, than a smile. People will gravitate towards you.

Stand. Never sit. It allows you the freedom to move throughout the room. Sit only when it’s time to start the meal, if there is one, or when the program begins. If seating is not assigned, select your seat, place the napkin over the chair to indicate the seat is taken, and move back to the mingling area.

Now that I have shared some networking favorites from my “Do” list, I will share favorites from my “Don’t” list in my next posting.

 

When Networking, Make the Most of Being “In the Room”

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Certain public and private events put you in contact with people who you want to meet. It’s called being “in the room.” Networking events allow you to connect with people you don’t know or to reconnect with people you already know. There are many do’s and don’ts to networking. Here are a few simple “Do” tips that will help you maximize the time you have to network most effectively:

Purposefully enter the room. Bring a positive mindset with you. Otherwise, you will wander aimlessly into the room as if you don’t belong there. You are in the right room so own it!

Peruse who is in the room. If there is someone specific you want to meet or reconnect with, approach that person first.

Be prepared. Know where your business cards are (easy to retrieve).

Think of conversation starters. Scan the top news headlines before you go to the event; know what’s going on in your community and in the world. If you know someone specific will be attending the event, make sure you know what’s happening in his/her company or industry.

Bloom where you are planted. Every room as four areas to network: Near the entrance to the room, near the food, at the bar, and at the chilling area, where people stand or sit together for more intimate, relaxing conversations. These high-traffic areas are where most people congregate.

I will add five more “Do’s” to this list in my next posting.

 

A Peer Group is a Prized Possession

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Your peer group is one of your most valuable and prized possessions. Yet it is often under-appreciated. Could it be that we are taught from elementary school to compete with each other? I can honestly say that I would not be half the professional person I am today if it were not for my peers who helped me. One of the fastest ways to shorten any learning curve is to look to your peers for advice, guidance and assistance. You may be surprised how willing they are to share their knowledge.

A few years ago, I received a call from a young woman who was referred by a mutual colleague. She wanted advice on how she could reach people and let them know about her new business venture. I recommended several professional organizations to her. Based on my positive experiences, I mentioned how valuable peer support groups are and how generous people are with their time. There was a long silence and then she said, “Why would I want to spend time with my competitors?” Her comment stunned me. I couldn’t believe how short sighted she was. I explained the value that peers bring to your career. She was not interested in my philosophy. Oh well. I tried.

In what ways are you tapping into the knowledge of your peers? And how often do you share your knowledge with them?

Set Your Brain for Maximum Mindset

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What if you could spend one day, one week, or longer with no negative thoughts or actions? What impact would that have on your life?

Dr. Emmet Fox, Scottish born philosopher, scientist and spiritual teacher, developed a small pamphlet in 1938 entitled, The Seven-Day Mental Diet. This tiny gem challenges the reader to take a “mental diet” for one week, which means you cannot think any negative thoughts or say anything negative during that time. If you lapse from the diet, you must start at the beginning again, at Day One. In this diet, you cannot use negative language or think bad thoughts about yourself or someone else.

I tried the diet, thinking how hard can this be? I created guidelines for myself: Remain positive all the time. Let my anger or frustration simply melt away. This meant no road rage, no negative thoughts about other people or myself. It sounded so simple. My first attempt lasted just a few hours before negativity crept back into my psyche. As I struggled through the first day, I was shocked to discover that I was more negative than I had thought. It was an eye opening experience. I would highly recommend this exercise if you are interested in improving your positive outlook on life.

Keep forging ahead even if you struggle the first few days (or minutes!). Over time, this exercise will become easier and you will notice a difference. Soon your newfound positive attitude will become natural to you.

Practice the Greatest Networking Mind Shift

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“What do you do?” is the most common question people ask when they meet someone new. What do you think about these four words? How do they make you feel..as you ask the question or as someone asks it of you? It’s very limiting, narrowly focused and impersonal. Let’s analyze this question:

What is directed to what the person does, not who the person is.

Do you…

Do is career focused and reflects an interest only in position and status. When you meet someone who is in transition or between jobs, or does not work, you put that person in an awkward position. Without thinking, the question could be demeaning to the other person. Let’s create a mind shift and change this phrase to “Tell me about yourself.”

Tell me encourages action; you want to hear about that person.

About

Yourself The focus is on the other person…not just the person’s career…what a concept!

Try this the next time you attend a function. You will be surprised by the responses. People will be delighted that you are interested in them. As you say this new phrase, remember:

  • It focuses on the other person, not on you
  • It allows you more topics to discuss
  • It provides the other person with a choice of what to discuss

Networking is about building relationships, not just collecting business cards. When you see people at future events, they will know you are interested in them, not just their title or job function.

Be On Purpose – Part 4

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In this final installation of being on purpose, here is one last mantra for you to embrace: “Everything I do positions me as a true professional.” That means that everything about you determines your level of professionalism, like how you interact with others, how you dress, your attitude or how you respond to crisis or change. To me, the word professional represents a person who sets – and lives by – high standards, someone who delivers quality results, and  is considerate of others. It’s not necessary only to have a white collar job to be considered as a professional. Anyone can be professional. It has more to do with one’s character than it does job status or income level. Anyone who comes in contact with customers or clients can benefit from some pointers in “Professionalism 101.” Consider initiating an open dialogue with your work team or employees on the topic by asking questions like, “How do you define professionalism?”, “What benefit could greater professionalism bring to us as individuals and to our company?”, “What type of behavior does a professional demonstrate?” or “How can we treat our customers or clients more professionally?” You may be surprised where the conversation leads you.

Be On Purpose – Part 3

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Now that I have presented you with the mantra, Everything I do positions me, and a follow-up mantra, Everything I do positions my company, let’s look at the flip side: Everything I don’t do positions me. Reflect on this for a moment. It’s not only what you do…it is also what you don’t do or neglect to do that can work against you and position you in a negative way with other people. For many, it’s a habit, to say something and not follow through. What will people think of you if you repeatedly make the same statement every time you see them and never follow through? “Let’s do lunch” seems to be the most common of phrases. If you see me five times within one year, and say that to me every time you see me, what will I begin to think about you? “She says it but she won’t act on it.” That speaks to your character. Whatever you say, deliver on the promise. It will position you more powerfully as someone who follows through and honors commitments.  And isn’t that the sign of a true professional?

Be On Purpose, Part 2

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Now that you have embraced your new mantra, “Everything I do positions me,” let’s build on that to include “Everything I do positions my company.” You not only represent yourself…you also represent your company, whether you are on the job or off.

When you meet a prospective client for the first time, your behavior is scrutinized. If you promise to submit a proposal by Friday, and you don’t deliver on that promise, the person may think that this is how your company does business. The result: Potential lost business income. Even in your personal life, you still carry your company with you. If you yell at a waiter in a restaurant and a client hears the entire conversation, the person may question both your character and the character of your company. When you work for a highly visible or prestigious company or organization, your positioning is amplified even more, meaning, people expect even greater things from you.

Before you make that promise or (dare I say) begin to behave badly, take a moment to reflect on your new mantra, “Everything I do positions my company.” Remember, you are a brand ambassador, so make your company proud.

In 2013, Be On Purpose

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In celebration of Be On Purpose Month, take a moment, right now, to reflect on what it truly means to be “on purpose.” To me, it means to be mindful, fully aware and intentional. The key to being on purpose is knowing exactly what you are putting out there. When you add a positive spin to it, your entire world opens up. When you intentionally send goodness out, you attract more goodness back to you. You have, no doubt, heard the phrase, “What goes around comes around.”

Let me share with you one of my most powerful guiding phrases: “Everything I do positions me.” Commit this phrase to memory. Close your eyes and visualize the words in front of you. Repeat the phrase a few times. Everything you do – your behavior, the way you dress, the people you associate with, the way you treat people, your attitude, your knowledge and experience – positions you in the minds of the people you come in contact with. How can you position yourself with greater impact? Focus on being more mindful, fully aware and intentional about what you are putting out there.