Achieve Your Goals With a “Reciprocal Resource”

Goals SignPeople come into our lives for a reason. Sometimes we don’t immediately recognize what the purpose is. When you look at other individuals as “reciprocal resources” (you help each other), you will be amazed at how quickly you will expand your knowledge and achieve your goals.

Think of people in your life who could become a reciprocal resource – a buddy with a purpose. For instance, one of my colleagues, Susan, is my goal-setting buddy and has been since 2000. We get together for lunch or afternoon tea at the beginning of each year and then at the end of each quarter to discuss our business and personal goals, what we have accomplished the previous quarter, and what we plan to accomplish in the next quarter. Because I am accountable to Susan and not just to myself, I am more likely to achieve greater things because I am doing it for her. I don’t want to disappoint her. She keeps me accountable and focused on the future and I do the same for her.

Over the years, we have brainstormed creative solutions, honestly evaluated each other’s business models and revised our action plans. Goals that were once part of a written plan have come into fruition because we are equal partners in each other’s success.

As you aspire to that next level in your career and in life, consider approaching someone you admire, respect and trust to become a reciprocal resource. When you are accountable to someone other than yourself, you will achieve great things.

The Joy of Play

526375_friendsSomething bizarre happens to us as we enter adulthood. We are transformed from carefree youths into serious adults, believing that’s what society expects of us. Yet, it if we set aside time every day or a few times each week to play, what a difference that would make in our attitude and our overall well-being. The National Institute for Play says that play can, in essence, make us smarter. Have you played Frisbee lately? When was the last time you played shuffleboard, squash, badminton or croquet? Blown bubbles? Played a word game like Boggle or Scrabble?

The historic “Northeast Blackout” power outage in August, 2003 affected more than 55 million people in eight U.S. Northeastern and Midwestern states and the Canadian province of Ontario. This forced my husband Mark and me to play the word game Boggle by candlelight. It was so much fun. The game had remained in our closet untouched for years. Now, we pull out the Boggle game from the bookshelf regularly and spend time playing it. We also enjoy joining our friend John at his regularly scheduled Game Nights at his home.

Richard Tait, co-founder of the popular game Cranium, says, “Play is a basic need, just like air, water, and the five food groups.” When was the last time you played? Gazed at the stars? Looked at clouds and figured out what they could be? Find a way to play every day (even if it’s for five or ten minutes) and you will experience a positive difference in your attitude and health.

The Meaning Behind the Message

617094_melting_hearts_3A chance encounter with a stranger can have a tremendous impact on our lives. One such encounter happened this past weekend.

My husband Mark and I attended a cultural event and struck up a conversation with a man whom we did not know. I commented about how beautiful – and perfect – the weather was this past weekend. He replied with a big smile, “Any day above ground is a good day for me!” His bright blue eyes sparkled as we laughed together and agreed how wonderful life is.

Dinner was about to begin, so we began walking together toward the dining room. Along the way, I began talking to another guest and her daughter. Mark continued talking with the man. Once in the dining room, Mark and I left our conversation partners to find our respective tables. We enjoyed a wonderful evening.

While driving home, Mark told me that during his one-on-one conversation with the man, he shared with Mark an important piece of information: During a recent medical check-up, his doctor confirmed that his cancer had returned, and that he has just four to five years left to live. His words, “Any day above ground is a good day for me!” were interpreted very differently now. The meaning behind the message had changed.

In our hurried lives, we rarely take the time to stop and talk to a stranger. On Sunday evening, Mark and I enjoyed a chance encounter with a man who changed our perspective, a man who is now no longer a stranger. We are grateful for that meeting. Who can you connect with to deepen your level of communication and relationship? Life is short. Do it now.

Reflective Action Enhances Your Attitude

629903_autumnWhen the walls of negativity are closing in, take the time for reflective action, to activate your senses with your mind and body to enhance your well-being and become more positive. Here are three tips to get you started:

  1. Retreat! Imagine getting away from everything that is familiar to you, allowing yourself to experience something new. In the process, you get to know yourself at a much deeper level. That, in essence, is what a retreat is designed to do. Focused quiet time can change your perspective. Some retreats are self-directed; others are organized for you. When you plan a retreat, do it with an open mind and open heart. You will return home feeling rejuvenated and more focused.
  2. Be inspired by other people’s stories. From time to time, you may have “down” days – those gray days when you just don’t feel like yourself. Negative thoughts can take over, and before you know it, you feel inadequate. Reading about other people’s stories of struggle turned to celebration will inspire you. I keep a file of inspirational stories from articles that I have read about people who have overcome difficult obstacles in their lives. Two of my favorites are about the lives of Mattie Stepanek and Kyle Maynard. Seek out their stories on the internet and reflect on what is possible in your life.
  3. Bring beauty into your life every day. Beauty almost defies description because its definition is so subjective. I define beauty as anything that enriches your life or that stops you and beckons you to take the time to absorb, embrace, or admire it. Adding beauty to your life can be admiring a beautiful morning, listening to relaxing music, or examining the intricate weaving of a dew-covered spider’s web. Don’t turn your back on beauty. It is all around you. Take the time to invite it into your life.

Reflective actions like these will give you a fresh perspective on what exists and what is possible in your life.

Want More Positivity In Your Life? Get Physical!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAWhen negativity tugs at your spirits, take physical action, which activates your body to change your behavior and reduce stress. Here are three of my favorite tips to maintain a positive attitude:

  1. Go outside every day. Being in nature has a way of giving you perspective. As you look at the ever-changing sky, clouds, trees, flowers, birds, even tiny insects, you will transport yourself outside of your boxed in world and expand your mind. If you live near the mountains, the ocean, a lake, the desert, a park or forest, interesting rock formations, or an open prairie, admire the majestic beauty of nature. For me, I do my best thinking, my clearest thinking, while walking in the woods.
  2. Smile! A smile is one of the most universal forms of communication. It is also one of the easiest things to do. The more often that you smile, your face will tell your brain that you feel better. Before you know it, you will feel better. When you enter a room, or pass someone on the street, how do you say, “Welcome” or “Hello” or “I’d like to get to know you”? Think about how you look to other people as they meet you. Are you frowning or smiling? A smile is much more inviting. Even if you don’t feel like smiling, slowly turn the corners of your mouth up to form a gentle smile. You will begin to feel more positive.
  3. Nap. Economist Frank Knight got it right when he said, “Never waste any time you could spend sleeping.” He knew the value of 40 winks. The world would be a much better place if more people took short 10- to 15-minute naps to ease their mind, rest their eyes and refresh their spirit. Once your body gets accustomed to taking short naps, you will wonder why you lived without them for so long.

The next time you feel negativity creeping into your life, get physical and change your perspective.

Positive Attitude? It’s All In Your Head

superdude copyYou can choose to be either positive or negative.  When life gives you lemons, embrace a positive attitude by taking psychological action, which activates your mind to change your behavior. Here are three tips to get you started:

  1. Begin and end every day in a positive way. At the beginning, and again at the end, of each day, do something that will leave you feeling refreshed, energized or relaxed, like a walk or jog, stretching, prayer or meditation, deep breathing, reading, singing, listening to music or telling family members you love them.
  2. Rid yourself of poison people. Create a magic toxic buffer zone. Imagine a glowing energy bubble around you that fiercely wards off negative energy from other people. Believe their toxicity cannot and will not penetrate your positive mindset.
  3. Send and receive positive thoughts. What type of energy are you sending out to people? They can feel your vibrations. You want them to be positive. Think to yourself, “I am sending you…” Your list could contain words like positive energy, peace, loving kindness, support, appreciation, strength, abundance, etc. Whatever you believe that other people need from you right now, send those thoughts to them.

The late Dr. Norman Vincent Peale said, “If you can think it in your mind, you can think it into actuality.” When you make small adjustments through psychological action, you will become more positive. The result? People will be drawn to you. And isn’t that a much better way to go through life?

 

 

 

 

Discipline Leads to Mastery

A-CatherineDiscipline doesn’t get the kudos it deserves. It’s often overlooked as part of a success plan. Yet, without discipline, you cannot make the shift from ordinary to extraordinary.

On Saturday night, I saw discipline in action and studied it in awe. Mark and I attended the Cleveland Heights Pavilion Skating Club’s “Skate Into Spring” ice performance. What brought us there was our friend – artist and skater- Catherine Butler (shown in her goddess costume, above). While I thoroughly enjoyed all of the performances, I also came away with a greater appreciation for discipline. Here’s what I learned:

Discipline makes you stronger. When you practice what you love, it shows. Are you better as a solo performer, a pair or an ensemble? Some skaters preferred ice dancing to ice skating. Whatever it is, when you play to your strengths, you will excel.

Discipline builds confidence. I was impressed with the grace and maturity of a young pairs skating couple who looked to be about eight years old. Heads held high, smiling, posture erect, they demonstrated confidence. The young boy held his partner with such confidence that I could envision this couple ten years into the future, winning many competitions.

Mastery is discipline in action. One year of experience looks much different than 5 or 10 years of experience. New skaters were still finding their confidence and using simpler moves. Advanced skaters jumped higher, spun faster and held poses longer. They glided across the ice effortlessly. The habit of discipline paved the way toward mastery.

Clearly, discipline delivers results. What kind of discipline will get you to where you need to be?

Define Your Personal Style

What makes you unique or distinctive? Every person has his or her own personal style that cannot be duplicated by anyone else. How are you defining your style? Here are a few ideas:

Hone your interpersonal skills. Look at how you contact, thank, remember or follow up with people. What do you do that sets you apart from others?

Keep in touch…for no reason at all. One of our longtime friends, Richard, has amused and touched us over the years with his thoughtful and often unexpected handwritten notes, cards and telephone calls. It is so endearing because he consistently keeps in touch.

Acquire an interesting hobby. If you are a manager during the day, you could become someone quite different in the evening or on the weekends. Are you a ballroom dancer? Do you compete in marathons? Have your prized perennials won awards at the County Fair? Who are you besides the person who comes to work every day? That’s what makes you unique.

Thank someone in a creative way. Imagine my surprise when I received a hand-written thank you note with a small enclosure – an herbal tea bag. It came from a colleague I met online. We had both submitted productivity tips to an online publication. She sent an email asking for more details and examples. I quickly replied. A few days later, her thank you note arrived in my mailbox. That small gesture captured her style: Thoughtful. Sincere. Unique. Creative. And of course…memorable.

Remember: Everything you do positions you. How does your personal style position you?

Conquer Procrastination by Moving Thought to Action

Businessman Wearing CapeYour day is filled with hundreds of thoughts. Sometimes those thoughts remain just thoughts with no action. “I want to get promoted.” “I want to read more.” “I need to get more involved in my community.” If you find yourself repeating those same phrases over and over without action, then listen more carefully to your language. If you say “I want to…” “I need to…” “I would like to…” what I call “no-intention mentions” then it is time to do something about those thoughts.

Change your language to “I am…” and make it happen! Those thoughts will develop into action. “I am going after that promotion.” “I am reading every day.” “I am involved in my community.” On a broader scale, if you say something like, “My plan to end world hunger is bringing sustainability to the most remote regions of the world,” then you are taking responsibility for your actions, whether your action provides financial or physical assistance.

When thoughts remain just thoughts with no action, you can think those thoughts for days, months, years, or a lifetime. Nothing ever happens. They remain thoughts and nothing more. A thought is the “what” – what you want to happen. Action is the “how” – how you make it happen. The choice is yours. You can choose to take action. Don’t just think about it. Do it!

Enroll in the Graduate School of the Mind

human-head-business-thinking copyImagine that you could create your own graduate level course to complete on your own timetable and for little or no financial investment. You can. Today, anyone can take the equivalent of a graduate level course by reading and studying books or taking online courses through Apple’s iTunes U or other free website resources. Even select colleges and universities offer complimentary courses for curious minds. With this approach, of course, you won’t have the tests, papers, theses or dissertations to complete yet the education is all there.

Let’s say you have been promoted into a management position within your organization and you want to learn more about leadership. Decide how much time you will dedicate each week to reading and studying. For now, we’ll say ten hours. At the end of one year, you will have invested more than 500 hours and educated yourself in a deeply focused way on the topic of leadership. When those studies are complete, if you like, you can choose a new educational topic theme, say, human performance. Each year, you could receive a new “degree” in a new topic area from the Graduate School of the Mind. To learn, retain information and grow, you must put what you learn into practice.

When people begin asking you questions like, “How do you know so much about leadership?,” you will answer with confidence, “I am very interested in the topic of leadership and have studied it extensively.” So the next time your organization is looking for someone with top leadership skills, who do you think they just might turn to? Think of the exciting topics you could explore and master if you just remained focused.