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Netwalking Builds Healthy Relationships

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Christine and Tammy…netwalking!

If you are looking for a creative way to build meaningful relationships through networking, consider netwalking. One of my colleagues, sales and marketing expert Tammy Wise, owner of WISECHAPTER3, has created an effective way to – as she states: “grow your business without growing your waistline.”

Traditional networking usually happens when you meet up with other professional colleagues at public events like a professional association’s monthly meeting, community event or major fundraising event for a worthwhile cause. Networking often happens during leisure time as well, like attending a wedding or a mutual friend’s party or even riding on an airplane. You usually exchange business cards to stay in touch or follow up at a later date to discuss business.

What is netwalking? Combine the basic principle of networking (learning about each other’s business) with walking (yes, the kind of walking you do in a beautiful setting like a park or beach) and you have netwalking.

Results of a 2014 study by Dr. Marily Oppezzo and Daniel Schwartz of Stanford University appeared in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: Learning, Memory and Cognition. Entitled “Give Your Ideas Some Legs: The Positive Effects of Walking on Creative Thinking,” the article revealed that walking – whether on a treadmill or outdoors – unleashes deeper creative thinking and the greater flow of ideas. I must admit, some of my best thinking happens when I take a walk in the park.

I have known Tammy for 30+ years (in fact, I first met her when she was a fresh college graduate). We have spoken at conferences together, served on panels together and belonged to professional organizations together throughout the years. Yet recently we did something together that we had never done before: We met for our first netwalking session. The topic? Our businesses…our dreams, goals and action steps. It was a refreshing – and healthy – way to share important information with each other and do a little brainstorming along the way. We met on a cool Spring day at the scenic Ohio Erie & Canal National Heritage Corridor.

Here in Cuyahoga County (Ohio), Tammy features Wednesday netwalking sessions, rotating east, west and south sides as well as downtown and urban neighborhoods. Want to learn more? Visit the WISECHAPTER3 website and sign up for a Wednesday netwalking time in Cuyahoga County. What could you tackle with a colleague when you are both in creative thinking mode? How could you potentially help each other? The possibilities are endless.

Lessons Learned From the Master, B.B. King

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B.B. King Photo Gallery, Academy of Achievement

The thrill is gone. America lost one of its greatest musical icons, B.B. King, on May 14. The loss of a legend provides the opportunity to gain some valuable life lessons. Here are a few that I have learned from B.B. King:

Be self motivated. B.B. King first learned the basics of guitar playing from his church minister, then taught himself the rest, mostly through mail order books. How motivated are you?

Be kind to others. Kindness is a general theme gleaned from interviews with the people who knew B.B. King best. It is true…a little kindness goes a long way. He was kind to others as he made his journey to the top. When he reached the top, he was kind to those who were just beginning their journey in the music world. It resulted in solid relationships and others wanting to do good for him.

Put your heart and soul into it. B.B. King was born to sing the blues and he remained committed to his craft into his late 80s. He unleashed raw passion and deep emotion for the music and the lyrics. Are you putting your heart and soul into what you do?

Measure the advice of others. B.B. King often told the story of advice his cousin, Bukka White, gave him when he decided to pursue a career in music. He said, “If you’re going to be a blues singer, a blues musician, always dress like you’re going to the bank to try to borrow money.” Sound advice for everyone launching their careers and managing impressions.

Create a unique sound. Tim Weiner, music critic of The New York Times said of King’s music: “Mr. King married country blues to big-city rhythms and created a sound instantly recognizable to millions: a stinging guitar with a shimmering vibrato, notes that coiled and leapt like an animal, and a voice that groaned and bent with the weight of lust, longing and lost love.” All too often, we try so desperately to be like someone else and in the process we lose sight of reaching our own full potential. What do you have to offer that is unique only to you?

Give back and pay it forward. Coming from a small southern town, B.B. King decided early on in his career to support the people from his adopted home town of Indianola, Mississippi. Over the years, he has helped to support the town’s efforts through an annual summer music festival, community programs and economic development with the B.B. King Museum and Delta Interpretive Center front and center. Thanks to B.B. King’s talent and generosity, Indianola is a thriving town today.

As we admire the life of this remarkable music legend, consider your own legacy. What work do you still want to do? What do you yet want to accomplish? Who can you inspire and motivate? Who can you extend a hand to and pull up along the way?  Rock on!

 

You Are What You Meet

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Aurelien Rigart

Aurelien Rigart, Saint Flo

As a professional, you attend many public events, community functions and business trade shows. How do you show up to those events? Are you investing the time to make a favorable first impression with other professionals or are you there just for the freebies? Whatever you choose, it shows.

Last week I attended a popular annual business expo in my area. Being fully present in every encounter, I was more mindful of my actions. I enjoyed meeting  business owners and company representatives. I exchanged several business cards, registered for a few giveaways, received a few free items and enjoyed a few snacks along the way. The key word here is few. I also reconnected with some colleagues I hadn’t seen in a while. Throughout it all, I shared meaningful conversations. When I reflected on my time at the business expo, I realized that I had truly enjoyed myself because I brought purpose and mindfulness to each encounter. I wasn’t just exchanging small talk and business cards with vendors just to load my free bag with free stuff. I was selective about who I spent time with. As a result, I can remember every face, every name and every conversation.

If you attend public functions just to load up on free goodies, you’re missing one crucial point: People are observing your behavior and watching you as you approach them. They are examining your body language and listening to your words. They are gauging your level of interest in them, their product or service. They know that there are many prospects and new contacts that they can begin building relationships with in that first minute of the conversation. All they want is an opportunity to make a connection with you.

How do you “show up” at public events? Are you engaging, dignified and professional while talking with people or specific vendors who you want to meet? OR Do you walk around the event with a bulging bag of free stuff and spaghetti sauce on your chin? What first impression are you making? Choose wisely.

Empathy Provides a Deeper Connection

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Victory Bell, Kent State University

Victory Bell, Kent State University

There are opportunities every day to practice empathy. Yet few people take on the challenge. They may think it’s too hard to become vulnerable and allow themselves to feel a deep emotional connection to someone else’s pain. What they would find, if they were willing, is that out of that empathy comes understanding.

Two days ago, my husband and I drove to our college alma mater, Kent State University, to attend the 45th commemoration of the May 4, 1970 shootings on that campus. I felt compelled to go, even though I was still in high school on that date 45 years ago. The University plays an important role in my life. Several family members received their undergraduate degrees there. It was also the place where I met my husband, Mark, in the late 1970s.

It was a postcard day, with clear blue skies, sunshine and a gentle breeze. The lilacs, viburnum and daffodils were in spectacular bloom. It was a stark antithesis of what happened on that hallowed ground of University Commons 45 years earlier.

IMG_2851The May 4 memorial sits atop a shady hillside next to Taylor Hall, where a small troop of National Guardsmen opened fire on students. At the entrance to the memorial sit three granite pavers demanding attention. Each is inscribed with one word. Inquire. Learn. Reflect. To me, they represent the essentials to practicing empathy. It reminds us that we didn’t need to be there 45 years ago to feel the impact of what happened that day.

Inquire. To practice empathy, an inquiring heart is required. It begins with a profound curiosity and a yearning to know about the world in which one lives. It starts with a series of open-ended questions that seek knowledge and the truth.

Learn. Response to inquiry provides the required foundation for learning and ultimately understanding. Continual learning leads to continual growth when the learning is applied and practiced. Learning can come from many sources ranging from books and scholarly journals to lived experiences.

Reflect. Reflection requires being fully present in the moment, when all distractions are averted. The mind is open to ponder information and facts and to gain perspective. Investing the time to reflect allows for a more personal understanding. Reflection can lead to more questions, deeper inquiry, learning, and so the cycle begins again. Inquire. Learn. Reflect.

As I listened to the family and friends of the four slain students, I felt profound empathy. The older sister of Bill Schroeder said “You showed up!” She said she would tell her 95-year old mother that we (the audience) showed up to remember her son and what happened that day. Our simple act of showing up had a much deeper meaning and value to one person and one family than we could imagine. You never know what your presence means.

People often confuse sympathy with empathy. The two are very different, as explained by Dr. Brene Brown in an excellent short video that’s less than three minutes. Watch it. It will change your perspective and help you understand when you’re being sympathetic when you should be empathetic.

The world needs greater empathy today. The workplace requires greater empathy today. Leaders must demonstrate greater empathy today. Before you enter the rabbit hole of name-calling and judgment of others, take time to practice empathy. Lay out the possibility in your heart and in your mind that you have the capacity to connect with someone else’s pain. Inquire. Learn. Reflect.

Photos: Christine Zust

Maximize the One-on-One Meeting

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thinkingIf you want to get the most out of a one-on-one meeting, be prepared with a “mental” agenda that keeps you focused. Here are some ground rules for getting the most out of your time with others:

Confirm how much time the other person has.

Understand their flexibility; learn if they have a meeting before or after yours.

Tell the person up front what information you need or would like to share.

Come prepared to either ask specific questions or share specific information.

Chat for only a few minutes at the beginning to get acquainted on a more personal level.

Discuss important items first, and leave any spare time at the end of your meeting to talk about any less important items.

I learned the hard way about maximizing the one-on-one meeting. I had invited a colleague to meet me for morning coffee to get “caught up” and also to talk about a specific area of her expertise. We spent the first 45 minutes of our conversation talking about our personal lives, issues, dilemmas, etc. She looked at her watch with a surprised look and said that she had just 10 minutes left before she had to leave and be back at her office for a conference call with a client. Now I found myself in the awkward position of cramming all of my questions into the last 10 minutes. I walked away from the get-together promising myself that I would never again let that happen. I learned an important lesson that day: Better preparation delivers better results.

When meeting with someone one-on-one, remind yourself that you have a limited amount of time to spend with that person, whether your intent is to collect or to share important information. Set up your meeting with clear objectives. If you don’t, the other person may be suspicious, because you are waiting until the last minute to discuss something important, or s/he may think that you have no reason for getting together, other than chatting and catching up on things. The last thing you want people thinking as they leave a meeting with you is “That was a waste of my time.” Professionals today are extremely busy people who work even harder at efficiency. Casual get-togethers with no agenda are fine too if it’s clear up front that’s how you intend to use the time.

As you prepare for important meetings, ask yourself a few questions:

What is the purpose of the meeting?

What is the main topic of conversation?

What information do I need to share or obtain from the other person?

How much time will I need?

What specific questions do I need to ask?

What are the next steps? Any follow-up needed?

When you invest the time in preparing for the one-on-one meeting, you will remain focused on your purpose and efficiency. People will appreciate your consideration.

Lead Like a Rock Star

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Kevin Mazur/WireImage for Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

Leaders can learn a lot from rock stars.

After enjoying the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony last Saturday night here in Cleveland (yes, Cleveland Rocks!), I realized that there are many lessons that leaders can learn from rock legends. Here are a few illuminations:

Play to your strengths. To be a true rock star, you must find your sweet spot, that place where your talent soars. For inductee Stevie Ray Vaughan (who died way too young in 1990) and Double Trouble, his sweet spot was the unique raw, bluesy sound that he could squeeze out of his guitar. That sound – which bears his name – is unique to him. Be known for something, that one thing, that sets you apart from everyone else.

Inspire others. As Hall of Famer Stevie Wonder introduced inductee Bill Withers, he praised Withers’ soulful compilations like Lean on Me, Ain’t No Sunshine, Grandma’s Hands, and Lovely Day (one of my favorite songs). Wonder, one of the most prolific songwriters of all time, jokingly said he wished he had written them. People are inspired by not just what you do but how you do it. Let your genius shine.

Surround yourself with brilliant minds. Inductee Ringo Starr, accompanied by Hall of Famer and former fellow Beatles member Paul McCartney along with all inductees and presenters onstage, brought down the house when performing I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends. Leaders can’t succeed on their own. If they try to, they fail as lonely, pathetic micromanagers that nobody likes. Collaboration wins every time. Although every member of the inductee group The Five Royales has passed, their family members spoke about how each member brought a unique talent to the group’s sound.

Acknowledge the help of others. Green Day band members Billie Joe Armstrong, Tre Cool and Mike Dirnt thanked everyone who ever helped them along the way, including people whose floors they slept on as struggling young artists. Every person needs acknowledgment and recognition. It begins with simply saying those two powerful words, “Thank you.” It is no surprise why Green Day’s fans are so devoted to the group. Their level of energy (especially when performing American Idiot) was electrifying.

Be authentic. The most tender memories of inductee Lou Reed, known for his bodacious lifestyle and lyrics, were eloquently captured by longtime companion Laurie Anderson and punk queen and friend Patti Smith who both celebrated the life of a man who lived, truly lived, every moment. Inductee Joan Jett still dons her signature black leather studded jacket and jet-black hair. She and band members, the Blackhearts, are true to the brand. With some leaders, the higher up the ladder they climb, the more of their authentic selves they leave behind. Be true to yourself, your values and vision.

Show your passion and energy. Some people think rock and roll is just for the young. Remember, rock and roll began in the 1950s, so rock legends from that era are still among us and going strong. At the induction ceremony, 80-year old Sam Lay not only played the drums with great vigor, he also sang lead vocals, as a longtime member of inductee group, The Paul Butterfield Blues Band. Let your energy transcend your age. People will want you to stick around longer!

As a leader, it can be lonely at the top. When you embrace the mindset of a rock star, you will develop loyal fans along the way.

Don’t Be a Networking Nemesis

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selfish-578x295You have done your fair share of networking over the years. You have no doubt encountered someone who is loud, obnoxious, self-centered and dominates the conversation. I call her my networking nemesis, Natalie Networker. Have you met someone like this?

People like Natalie give networking a bad name because they only talk about themselves, don’t listen and don’t care who you are or what you have to say. Natalie only cares about one thing: the card, specifically, giving you her business card and collecting yours so she can enter it into her precious database when she returns to the office. She possesses no emotional intelligence or any form of self-awareness. She only wants to tell you how great and wonderful she is and remind you that you need to buy her product or service starting today. She doesn’t care about developing a relationship with you. She only cares about your data. She breaks all the networking rules.

Time for a reality check. You may find, if you’re not careful, that you have a little bit of Natalie Networker in you. It’s easy to fall into the trap of quantity (Have a goal of collecting 10 business cards at an event) rather than taking the preferred route of quality (Begin building one new relationship today). Here are a few tips to help you avoid being like Natalie Networker:

  • Invite the person into your space with engaging eye contact and a smile.
  • Treat people like they are more important than you are. Remember, it’s not just about you.
  • Look at the person’s business card. Read it. Too often this simple courtesy is ignored.
  • When you shake hands, shake like you are genuinely interested in meeting this person. No limp wrist or passive shakes, please. No bone crushing either. Find a comfortable medium.
  • Discover common ground (common interest, profession, background). You have a better chance of establishing rapport when you can find something in common to discuss.
  • Don’t overstay your welcome. Move easily throughout the room, from conversation to conversation. Having a half-full beverage in your hand that needs refreshing provides the perfect breakaway if and when you need it.

When you make connections with grace, people will run toward you rather than away from you when they see you at the next event.

Think about how you interact with people when you are networking. Is the conversation only about you, or are you genuinely interested in learning about the other person? Do you invade the other person’s space, or are you respectful and keep a comfortable distance?

Once you become more aware of your personal networking style, you will connect with greater confidence, make lasting impressions and build a solid network.

Stand Out or Blend In

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imagesDonning a vintage 1960s wide-brimmed black straw hat, I escorted my 94-year-old Mother to Easter Sunday mass. On the way into the church, a woman grabbed my arm and said, “I just have to tell you that I love your hat!” I thanked her and told her how I wished more women wore hats. As I walked further into the church and sat down, my husband noticed that no other women were wearing hats. Shortly after that, my older sister (who also was wearing a hat) and her husband arrived.

One of the fondest memories I hold dear about my Dad was a simple tradition that he started on the highway. As he would approach a state line, he would tip his hat as he drove past the “Welcome to…” sign. To this day, whenever I pass a state line sign, I think of him and smile. To me, my Dad’s small act symbolized his gratitude for everything that allowed him to get that far on the journey…a well-running car, a full tank of gas, good weather conditions and of course cooperative children in the back seat!

As I turned to shake the hands of the people around me during the “sign of peace” at church, I smiled at the woman directly behind me who was also wearing a hat. Something amazing happened. For a moment, we exuberantly embraced our tiny “community” of hats in the congregation. Now it was three of us who were the only women wearing hats in the entire church.

It got me thinking. One simple act – wearing a hat – got people’s attention, turned heads and created a buzz. What are you doing to stand out? To position yourself differently from others? Sometimes it takes just one thing to set you apart from everyone else.

If you are feeling bold and daring and want to learn more about the fine art of hat wearing, read the online British magazine, The Hat Magazine. If you want to see some spectacular hats, visit the Hat Center, a group of hat manufacturers in Florence, Italy. Bellissima!

LinkedIn Contacts Require a Closer Look

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imagesThere I was, minding my own business on LinkedIn last week, and I got distracted by a pop-up window asking me if I wanted to connect with several people who I knew. One of them, a woman I have known for decades yet haven’t seen for years, was included in the list. I thought how nice it would be to reconnect, so I sent the LinkedIn request. She accepted my invitation within a day. What happened next caught me by surprise.

You see, I sent her a follow-up LinkedIn private message, telling her how glad I was that we were reconnected through LinkedIn and how “easy” it would be for us to get together for coffee or lunch. (I remembered that she and I lived on the same side of town.) Now comes the kicker. Her response was simply how she would love to get together but I may have to wait a while…a few years…because she and her husband were living on their sailboat in Belize. Wow.

I learned a very important lesson: Sometimes we may think we know the people in our LinkedIn network and then we discover we don’t know them at all. It got me thinking. How often do you review your LinkedIn network of contacts? I mean really review who is in your network, where they are, what they are doing, their background, their interests?

When I began my career several decades ago, people often measured your level of influence based on the size of your Rolodex*. Power came with volume. The more contacts, the bigger the Rolodex. The bigger the Rolodex, the greater the influence. Today, that level of influence is measured by the number of LinkedIn contacts, Twitter followers or Facebook friends you have. The landscape has changed.

So when I received this message from my colleague in Belize, I smiled and said to myself, “How cool is this? Here I am, sitting in my home office in Ohio and she’s sitting on her boat halfway around the world and we are connecting through technology.” It just goes to show you, you can connect and reconnect with people in your network at any time, anywhere in the world.

How often do you review your LinkedIn network? Who needs to be included? Who can you reconnect with through a simple email, phone call or text? What’s your plan? Your network awaits you.

*Rolodex (definition): For those of you who are too young to remember, the Rolodex system is a unique way of alphabetically “filing” business contact information (name, title, company, etc.) on individual physical cards placed within a metal holder for easy retrieval. Created in 1956, the word Rolodex comes from combining the words “rolling” and “index.” I’m sure you can still find them in some people’s offices today.

Opulent Positioning Strategy Backfires

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Ben Terris, The Washington Post

Applying my signature mantra “Everything I do positions me” to the recent resignation of Senator Aaron Schock (R-ILL) over extravagant spending habits causes me to ponder the question, “What were you thinking?”

In Senator Schock’s case, it was the over-the-top opulent design of his Capitol Hill office that caught the attention of the media, other politicians and his constituents back home. Was this how a senator’s office was supposed to look? Wasn’t it a tad bit too much? Who paid for the furniture and expensive decorative items?

Certain expectations come with the role of a public servant. The greatest of which is how you best represent the needs of your constituents. Your number one priority is to ensure that the voices of the people you represent in your district are felt, heard and presented. Taxpayer dollars are expected to go towards important issues, like education, job creation and health care, not office furnishings or an extravagant lifestyle. Even though the interior designer donated her services, that act also has faced scrutiny from Capitol Hill, questioning if that donation broke some ethical rules.

The foundation of our democracy – the Constitution and the Bill of Rights – reminds us that individualism – and self-expression – is celebrated as one of our greatest rights. However, there are certain norms and standards that apply to public servants. Beyond the Downton Abbey-esque decor of his office, Senator Schock also had gained a reputation for a flamboyant, ostentatious lifestyle, often posted on social media. (Lady Violet would have never approved of the red walls, by the way The sexy pose on the cover of Men’s Health?. You’ll have to ask her personally at her Twitter account, Dowager Countess).

violet_dowager_countess_of_grantham_downton_abbey_maggie_smith-thumbI have nothing against Downton Abbey. I am a huge fan, so much so that my husband and I transformed ourselves into ghosts “Lord and Lady Creepy Crawley from Downton Abbey-Normal” for a friend’s Halloween party last year. But I digress…

The young, 33-year-old Senator Schock was viewed by many in the Republican party as a leader with a bright future. That future does not look so bright right now because of some poor choices he made during his rise to the top. If he had considered my mantra, “Everything I do positions me,” things might have been a bit rosier for him.

Maintaining positioning power and credibility are achieved through understanding  what is expected of you in a specific role or position and appropriately living up to the standards and ethics of that role. The moment you push the boundaries too far, you expose yourself to risk. The next time you are considering a bold move, answer some important questions: How much of a risk are you willing to take? What are the potential consequences of that risk? Is taking that risk worth it? Those are questions only you can answer.