People are in great need today of connecting through conversation. Understanding – and healing – comes through honest, open dialogue.

More than a decade ago, I read an article in Utne Reader about a group called the Conversation Cafe that was looking for people who were interested in hosting conversations in cities and towns across America.

I began hosting a monthly Conversation Cafe on various topics and soon realized that people were craving connection through meaningful dialogue. As facilitator, it is my responsibility to keep the conversation focused and moving. The simple Conversation Cafe model works. What makes this model different is that it uses a talking object, a simple item that is passed from person to person. The person with the talking object in hand has the floor. No one can interrupt that person while speaking. The facilitator can ask clarifying questions.

What makes the Conversation Cafe unique is its agreements. All participants agree to follow the protocol. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could use agreements like this in our workplace or home conversations?

• Open-mindedness: Listen to and respect all points of view.
• Acceptance: Suspend judgment as best you can.
• Curiosity: Seek to understand rather than persuade.
• Discovery: Question assumptions, look for new insights.
• Sincerity: Speak from your heart and personal experience.
• Brevity: Go for honesty and depth but don’t go on and on.

Conversations include a four-step process that helps the group to better understand each other’s thoughts and feelings. During the final round, I close the conversation by asking the question, “What are you taking away from our conversation?” Participants’ comments usually include how glad they were that they came, how much they learned, how they enjoyed hearing other people’s thoughts, ideas or perspectives, or how they will challenge their thinking on the subject. Often, participants transform their thinking on the topic.

Today, the Conversation Cafe model is hosted in seven countries. Eleven states in the United States host Cafes. If you are interested in starting a Conversation Cafe in your corner of the world, visit the Conversation Cafe website.

Companies, organizations, groups, cities, states and countries can benefit from using the Conversation Cafe model to open up dialogue. By listening to each other’s voices in a respectful way, we will be better able to understand each other.

All positive change begins with open dialogue.