Workplace Leaders Must “Be the Change”

seedling-growthFollowing the most unprecedented, unpredictable Presidential election in U.S. history, the online community has been saturated with posts, tweets, and articles ranging from how people need to handle the emotional aftermath of division and grief to acceptance and “moving on.” There is no doubt that political analysts, news organizations, and universities will be using this election as a case study for a multitude of topics in the years to come: Communication, political strategy, public relations, cross-cultural relations, and change, to name a few. In the workplace, however, political commentary and division can show up in side comments and retorts among co-workers. As a leader, be prepared to handle opposing viewpoints of team members when they are manifested as non-productive behavior.

How will you bring together co-workers who are still divided? How will you encourage moving forward when some people’s minds are still stuck on past events? Let the words of Gandhi guide and inspire you: “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

In order to be the change, you must be empowered and responsible for your own actions. Serve as a positive role model for your team. The messages and the energy that you convey will set an example. The same is true for your team members. Arguing, shouting, screaming, demanding, bullying, and blaming others with negative rhetoric will accomplish nothing. Conversely, using a civil tone, listening, collaborating, accepting responsibility, and treating others with dignity and respect will lead to more positive results. Which outcome is preferred? Choose open conversation over open hostility. Choose to rise above rather than fall victim to. Choose to stop the negative rhetoric and instead search for positive outcomes. Choose to find common ground and common purpose.

Lead by example. When you hear opposing viewpoints of a co-worker, don’t belittle that person. Listen. Use positive language that keeps the conversation open rather than shutting it down. Invite greater understanding through listening and using neutral language.

Whether you are engaged in a one-on-one conversation or a group discussion, here are some examples of comments or questions that lead to open dialogue:

Beginning a conversation, use language like this: “Help me to understand your viewpoint.” “Thank you for sharing your perspective.” “I appreciate hearing your point of view.” “I now have a better understanding of why you feel this way.”

As you share your perspective, consider using comments like these: “I would like to share my perspective with you as well. All I ask is that you listen to me.” “There may be times when our viewpoints are opposite. That’s okay. The important thing is that we share, without any judgment or preconceived notions. Let’s really listen to each other.”

As you go deeper into the conversation, to try to find a comfortable half-way meeting point, you may use language like this: “Now that we have shared our thoughts, opinions, and perspectives, let’s look at common threads that we share.” “What would it take for us to come together so we each felt like we got something we wanted?” “How can we ‘agree to disagree’ and still be productive in our work?” “How can we move ahead together?”

You may not be able to resolve every issue. What you will be able to do is begin an open dialogue.

The workplace would be different if one common goal was shared: Open communication. How would your workplace change if employees at all levels of the company shared their voices in an open forum? How are you creating a safe environment for open, honest conversation? What opportunities are you providing to your team to engage in sharing their feelings in a respectful, nonjudgmental way?

“Being the change” is not easy. It’s difficult. Shifting from potentially destructive behavior to productive behavior is a giant leap. It begins with one step. Initiate a positive conversation that matters. You are worth it. Your team is worth it. Your workplace is worth it.

It’s Time to End the Spin Cycle

scampi_2051714cWith less than three weeks before Election Day, the spin of this year’s U.S. Presidential political campaign is spinning out of control.

I spent the first half of my professional career in public relations and marketing, so I know what spin looks like, sounds like, and feels like. Just so you know, spin is the action taken by public relations professionals to meet the objectives of their PR campaign. Spinning or fluffing can often be defined as the art of presenting something negative in a more positive light. The person creating the spin is called a spin doctor.

One of the most frequently used words by the media regarding this year’s Presidential campaign is “unprecedented.” We have never seen anything like this, and hopefully we will never see it again.

For the educated professional like me, I can tell a spin when it’s in action. It has a certain look, sound, and feel to it. No matter what the negative charge or accusation, the spin that follows is either appalling or amusing to me. I can see right through it. But average Americans who don’t have a public relations background have no clue what’s happening. They don’t see the strategic spin for what it is. They take the words that were spoken by the candidate or their surrogates verbatim and begin repeating them as if they were the truth.

What has happened in this election is that those spins don’t just get summed up in one or two sound bytes, get featured for a day, and then are dropped. Instead, that spin remains spinning for days or weeks until we, the American voters, feel like we are trapped in this perpetual spin cycle.

We have witnessed a series of spins in recent weeks.

Recently, the national media aired an audio recorded conversation between Donald Trump and Billy Bush while they were killing time preparing for an interview with Access Hollywood back in 2005. The language used by the media and the public presented a deeper issue, which was potentially harmful to Donald Trump’s campaign: his sexual misconduct, which was then referred to as sexual assault. Trump’s spin, which included the phrase “locker room talk” tried to minimize, even dismiss, his behavior.

What happened next? Women were outraged. Multiple allegations of sexual assault came pouring in from women stating that Donald Trump had fondled, kissed, or groped them in the past. The “locker room talk” spin has dominated the news cycle for nearly two weeks and doesn’t show any signs of stopping. Building on the locker room talk spin, Donald Trump said all of these allegations were fabricated, which is another spin. Even Melania Trump came to her husband’s defense in an interview with CNN’s Anderson Cooper, referring to the incident as “boy talk” and suggesting that Billy Bush initiated the conversation. Let me add one note worth mentioning. Melanie Trump’s comments came more than ten days after the Bush-Trump tapes were leaked. Timing for this defense did not work in Trump’s favor. Even Stephen Colbert’s Melania Trump surrogate, Tony Award winning actress Laura Benanti, joined the Donald’s defense.

The latest spin of the Trump campaign is that the entire 2016 U.S. Presidential election process is rigged. Many Republican and Democratic leaders are speaking up, defending the American electoral process. And yet the spin is out there and continues to grow.

Listen to the key words or phrases from these recent spin cycle examples: Locker room talk, fabricated, boy talk, rigged. When does it end? I would like to say it will all end on November 8, 2016, Election Day, but I know better. These multiple spins have some American voters’ emotions running high. Let’s not get swept away with talk. Instead, let’s focus on the issues. America has more important work to do, and we need to do it together.

Body Language Speaks Volumes in Second Presidential Debate

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cnn.com

The second U.S. Presidential Debate between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, which aired on October 10, 2016, was less about verbal exchanges or barbs and more about nonverbal (or silent) language. Trump and Clinton both revealed their attitudes through nonverbal language. Here’s what stood out to me:

No opening handshake. The media repeatedly described this behavior as “unprecedented.” I agree. Even when you dislike or disagree with an opponent, you still extend the courtesy of a handshake. Knowing what had transpired in the media leading up to the second debate, we can certainly understand why there was no handshake. I am surprised that no one in the media mentioned how honest this gesture was. It revealed deeper emotions.

Trump’s dominant, invasive physical stance. Throughout the debate, Trump physically stood close to Clinton while she answered audience questions, sometimes standing right behind her, invading her personal space on the platform. The media (and women, I might add) picked up on this right away. Words like “stalking” have been used in media reports. In a professional arena, such as a debate platform, candidates follow certain protocols or extend courtesies to one another. Candidates have their own designated seated areas. While they are allowed to walk to any part of the platform, they remain mindful of their opponent’s physical position. Trump continued to break protocol. He also wandered and paced the platform while Clinton responded to audience questions, which could be interpreted as a lack of respect or a lack of engagement.

Clinton’s appropriate use of the platform. Clinton came closer to audience members when answering questions, creating an intimate space for dialogue. She followed platform protocol and did not invade Trump’s physical space at any time.

screen-shot-2016-10-11-at-12-11-59-pmTrump’s lack of control over facial expressions. Trump’s visible facial expressions included pursed lips, pouting, furrowed brows, rolling of the eyes, and finger pointing. His nonverbal behavior can be summed up in one phrase: arrogant bullying.

screen-shot-2016-10-11-at-12-14-22-pmClinton’s smiling during Trump’s negative attacks. Hillary Clinton demonstrated significant restraint during Trump’s repeated verbal assaults. I would have loved to have asked Clinton, “Penny for your thoughts” during those moments. Never before has a politician’s nonverbal language been scrutinized as much as Hillary Clinton’s. When she doesn’t smile, media advisors say she needs to smile more. When she does smile, advisors say she needs to tone down the smiling. It seems that no matter what she does, it’s just not right. I thought she handled Trump’s assaults with grace and professionalism. Some people may have perceived her smiles as artificial, however, I felt she used smiling as a way to remain positive in her remarks.

Closing handshake. Well, despite the unprecedented lack of a handshake at the beginning of the debate, the Presidential candidates enjoyed a closing handshake at the end of the debate. Was it because they felt all warm and fuzzy from the closing question, which asked each candidate to say something positive about the other? Hmmm…..Change of heart or following protocol?

Unfortunately, I don’t have the capability of reviewing Trump’s or Clinton’s micro expressions using slow-motion replay technology. Psychologist Dr. Paul Ekman co-discovered the phrase micro expressions. These brief facial expressions (lasting just 1/15 to 1/25 of a second), can reveal a deeper or masked truth about a person’s attitude or behavior. Examples include quick raising of the corner of the lips, expanding or contracting of the iris, narrowing or opening of the eyes, etc. Ekman’s work became the basis for a FOX television program, Lie to Me, which ran three seasons, 2009-2011. A short Guide to Reading Micro Expressions may prove helpful in deciphering the facial expressions during this second debate.

The lesson: Become aware of your nonverbal language because it speaks volumes about who you are as a person and who you are as a professional. Are you presenting yourself well through your nonverbal language?

What Makes Your Day Great?

ethanthankyouOne statement that can make your day a great one is a sincere “Thank you.” It’s a simple statement, one of the most common that you hear.

When you are on the receiving end of “Thank you,” something wonderful happens. You feel recognized, valued, and appreciated. You feel like the other person took the time to speak from the heart.

One such thank you arrived in our mailbox recently. It was sent to my husband and me by our “adopted” godson, Ethan. I say adopted because we are not his official godparents, rather, we are godparents to his older brother, Andrew. Truth be told, we’re also adopted godparents to their older sister, Alexis.

From the outside, it looked like a normal thank you card from American Greetings. The sentiment inside is what truly made my day. On the inside left panel was a huge THANK YOU, perfectly handwritten in all caps. The note began with an appropriate salutation: “Uncle Christine and Aunt Mark.” Years ago when the kids were still living at home, their mom, one of my best and longtime friends, made the mistake of mixing up our names. When all three kids heard it, they burst into laughter. Somehow, it magically stuck, and it has been that way ever since. That happy accident became a new moniker for us. I am Uncle Christine and Mark is Aunt Mark.

Ethan just began his freshman year of college. He was thanking us for his graduation gift and something more. He was thanking us for being who we are, and for being in his life. I love his first sentence: “You two are some of my favorite people on the planet.” The note continues with “I look up to you two more than anyone in my life and I’m not just saying that.” He went on to tell Mark and me how he feels about us. His note was very touching, and yes, it made me teary-eyed.

The moment I finished reading the thank you note, I told Mark, “Let’s keep this out as a reminder. Any time we’re having a bad day, we can simply pick it up and read it again to lift our spirits.”

Poetry and songs relate to this solo journey called life. We can sometimes feel alone, undervalued or under appreciated, like we don’t matter, or like people don’t care. Then we realize – through some small recognition by other people – that we are not alone, that we do matter, that they do care, that we have influenced their lives in some way…just like Ethan’s note stated.

Let me ask you this: Who was the last person you said “thank you” to? Was it a clerk at a store? A server at a restaurant? A co-worker? A team member? Your spouse? Your partner? Never underestimate the power of thank you. You just might make someone else’s day.

Don’t Let Social Media Hijack Your Work Goals

social-media-logos_15773Social media has worked its way into our psyche so deeply, we often use it in a mindless way. While you’re investing countless hours on social media each day, it could be standing in your way of making real progress on the job.

You come into the office early, at 7:30 a.m., to get a solid start to your day. Of course, you scan emails for anything important. A few things catch your eye, like a new Facebook request from someone you met recently. “I’ll just respond to this real quickly,” you say. While you’re visiting his Facebook page, you happen to notice his photo album. “Let me just spend a few minutes seeing if he’s got any good pics.” Then, of course, you have to spend a little time reviewing some of his recent posts.

Do you hear that loud sucking sound? You have just been sucked into the vortex of social media.

Don’t get me wrong. I love social media. The fact that you can remain connected to professionals through LinkedIn, or friends and family through Facebook, or catch the latest trends through Pinterest or Instagram. It’s all good.

Except…

When you get sucked into social media when you aren’t prepared or you have no time scheduled for it. It usually begins with a thought, “I’ll just take a few minutes…” until you realize later that you have just spent 30, 60, 90 minutes on social media when it wasn’t planned as part of your work day.

How do you enhance your relationship with social media so that it’s more beneficial, not detrimental, to your career? Here are a few quick tips that could save you from far too many unscheduled trips down Social Media Lane:

Should I do this now or later? Ask yourself if this is the right time to review or respond. Social media remains alive and well on the internet. With the click of a mouse, you are there. It’s ready when you are.

How important is this? With all of the work that you have to do, where does social media land on your work priority list? Social media usually doesn’t show up as part of your work day.

Is this the best use of my time and skills right now? This is the most important question to ask. When you arrive at the office fresh, ready to plan your day, or tackle those big issues, that is not the time to engage in social media. Rather, it’s time to get to work.

Earn a break. To stay on track with work priorities, if you can, schedule a few minutes here and there to check in with social media. It can make your brain more productive during the work day if you take a few short breaks to shift your mindset, like mid-morning, lunchtime, mid-afternoon, or end of the day. When you take those short breaks, and I do mean short breaks, set the timer on your phone for just two, three, or five minutes. When the timer goes off, wrap it up and get back to work. That way, you can still get your work done and remain connected to your contacts.

Remember, some companies have software that reviews employee visits to social media sites. Check your employee manual to make sure you are not violating your company’s guidelines.

As a hard-working, responsible professional, it’s up to you to figure out where social media fits – if at all – in your work day.

A Broad Perspective Leads to Better Decisions

DecisionMakingBetween last week’s Republican National Convention (held in Cleveland, where I live) and this week’s Democratic National Convention held in Philadelphia, I have consumed a lot of information. My mornings don’t usually begin and end with the news, mind you, but they have for these past two weeks. The news coverage is compelling, interesting, entertaining, and sometimes quite amusing. I have shared many conversations with friends and family members about this historic election and have learned a lot about what motivates people.

It got me thinking about how we, as professionals, consume, process and analyze information before making an important decision. Here are my thoughts on how we do this.

Connect with the person. You genuinely like and trust the person who is delivering the information. You connect with that person. You admire what that person stands for, the track record, the professional accomplishments, the personal story. It could be your boss. It could be a co-worker. It could be your mentor. There is something about that person that gives you the confidence to follow her/him to the ends of the earth.

Connect with the issue. We are more likely to connect with an issue when we have had personal experience with it. You may have been unjustly fired because of your age, gender, or sexual orientation. You may have been discriminated against because of the color of your skin. When you personally connect with that particular issue, you are more likely to be an advocate for it. Even when you haven’t shared that same experience, your empathy for another person’s experience opens your heart to support that issue.

Connect with the message. Rhetoric fills our heads each day, because of a 24/7/365 news cycle. We live in a sound byte world, where the value of a message is often measured by its cleverness. Know what the message is and why it resonates within you. Know what the foundation of that message is. What does it mean? Is it supported by great content or does it just sound good?

Connect with the facts. Sometimes we learn more about a topic because of the facts associated with it. Those facts can solidify our decision. Accurate, undisputed facts are hard to argue with. Just make sure the facts haven’t been taken out of context to paint a rosier picture.

Connect with your intuition. Beyond logic lies intuition, that gut feeling that – without hesitation and sometimes without explanation – grabs your attention and emphatically leads you to the right choice. We often say to ourselves, “It just feels right to me.”

The next time you have an important decision to make (which will be sometime today), think about what is motivating you to lean one way or another. Are you making that decision out of loyalty to a person, an issue, a message, or facts? Is your intuition guiding you? Or are you making that decision because you have looked at every perspective, and feel confident that you are making the right choice?

Finding Common Ground: The Ali-Cosell Story

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Howard Cosell and Muhammad Ali

There are many lessons that we can learn from boxing legend Muhammad Ali (formerly Cassius Clay). Yet the one that stands out most in my mind is the special relationship and bond that he shared with sports commentator Howard Cosell.

The two men couldn’t have been any different, yet, they found common ground in sports, a place where they could meet and simply be their best. They were both performers, top in their fields, and eloquent orators. They first met in 1962 and remained colleagues and friends for more than three decades.

Cosell was a brash, highly intelligent sports journalist from Brooklyn. He had a distinctive reporting style and vocal quality, with a heavily nasal delivery, and careful enunciation of every word, stretching them out towards infinity. He asked tough questions and made bold statements. Ali took them all in stride and was an equal match – and partner – for Cosell. When the two got together, it was magical.

Ali carried the title “The Greatest Fighter of All Time” with grace, style and of course showmanship. He threw barbs as strategically as he did jabs and punches. He used words to taunt his opponents, fire up the media and set the stage for a memorable fight. To watch him in the ring at the height of his career was like nothing else we had ever seen. Fast hands, fast feet and fast language. It was a killer combination.

The Ali-Cosell relationship was based on mutual respect. They may not have agreed with each other on everything inside and outside the ring, yet, they were able to come together around the love of the sport and give us a spectacular show. It was evident the two men cared deeply about and respected each other.

As professionals, we can learn a lot from Muhammad Ali and Howard Cosell’s relationship. When you are working with someone whose background, core values, age, ethnicity or personality differs from yours, assume a champion stance. Treat that person with respect and as an equal, and you just may develop a relationship that will stand the test of time.

Embrace – Don’t Silence – Creativity

CanalImageA powerful form of communication, the drawing, has been expressed through the ages. The simplest forms of hieroglyphics and petroglyphs remain thousands of years later on cave walls, in ancient Egyptian tombs, and on rock formations in the American Southwest.

Imagine the surprise and delight of passersby on the streets of New York City’s TriBeCa area seeing modern-day “drawings” adorning the windows of two nondescript office buildings. The Wow Factor? Each image was created from Post-It Notes©.

Office workers from two separate businesses in neighboring buildings started the free expression, which has evolved into a fun, friendly competition. Images like the Pink Panther, Batman, a famous Rolling Stones album cover, and dozens more remain on the windows.

Unfortunately, one of the landlords has issued a warning that all images must come down by the end of this month, stating that all windows must remain clear of any decorations or obstructions. (Isn’t that what blinds or drapes do yet in a less attractive way?)

NBC News with Lester Holt aired this story on Monday, May 23, 2016. It caught my attention and brought back memories. In the mid-1980s, I served as marketing director for a developer in Cleveland’s Historic Warehouse District. To celebrate Preservation Week (held annually in May), we hired local artists to paint art on the windows of one of our vacant buildings to draw attention to our development project. It made the entire block come alive.

What the building owner of the New York City property may not fully appreciate is that this otherwise average brick building is bringing beauty to the street and is making national and international news. That’s something to celebrate, not silence. Follow the news on #postitwars.

What creativity do we silence each day in our workplace, in our community and in our home? We can do a better job of listening to and supporting other people’s innovative ideas for change. Otherwise we will find ourselves staring at the same old blank walls or windows.

Master the Executive Summary

executive-summaryIf you want to gain the respect of upper management, communicate with them the way they expect. Deliver information to the C-suite in a format they are accustomed to: The Executive Summary. Make it a point to get to the point quickly and deliver information in a clear, concise way.

Traditionally, an Executive Summary accompanies a larger written document. It provides, at a quick glance, the essence of the core message. It can be as small as a few paragraphs or as expansive as a page or two.

Treat every executive communication, whether verbal or written, as an Executive Summary. When you deliver information in an Executive Summary format, you will get to the point more quickly, your message will be clearer, and you will get invited back to future meetings because senior management will appreciate your brevity.

An executive wants to know three things when you meet:

1. Why are you here? (What’s the purpose of our meeting?)
2. What information do you have to share? and
3. What specifically do you need from me?

It’s that simple. Cater to the way the C-suite thinks.

Use this outline as a template:

Identify why you are there. What is happening? Provide an appropriate set-up. Are you there to:

  • Share results of an important study?
  • Take a project in a different direction?
  • Request more resources?
  • Share a brilliant idea that will save the company money?
  • Provide a project update?

State your case and share supportive information. Do not…I repeat…do not do a data dump. In the most direct, concise manner, tell the executive what you would like to do. What information are you sharing and why? How does it back up the case you have just presented?

Mention specifically what you need. Do you need:

Money?
Additional staff?
An endorsement?
A consideration?
Approval?

Here’s a brief example. The Vice President of Human Resources is meeting with the CEO:

Why you’re there: Changes in the federal healthcare laws require greater compliance from our company. This is a top priority for all of us. Our current HR staff is not equipped to fully monitor these requirements while juggling their current job responsibilities.

State your case: I am recommending the addition of one full-time employee to the HR department to focus on the new federal compliance laws. That would mean an additional $95,000 in the department budget to cover salary and benefits for this new position.

Share information: Companies like ours are pursuing additional staff support. This salary is comparable to what other companies our size are doing. This separate document outlines everything for you (capture details in a leave behind printed document).

What you specifically need from the executive: I would appreciate your consideration and immediate approval to create this new position so I can begin interviewing, and hiring, a new staff person by June 1.

Of course, you will be prepared for the executive to ask questions as you present information. Whether they tell you or show you nonverbally, there is one thing on the minds of executives: “Get to the point.”

When you assume a higher level of leadership with greater responsibilities, you must elevate your presentation style and communication skills when working with the C-suite. Learn to think like executives and communicate in a format they are already accustomed to: The Executive Summary.

Thank You, Harper Lee

harper lee youngThank you, Nelle Harper Lee, for opening our eyes to social injustice in the South in your Pulitzer Prize winning novel, To Kill a Mockingbird. The book has remained on the required reading list of just about every school in America for decades. Lee, who died on February 19 at the age of 89, leaves an indelible mark on American literature.

Lee’s book was released in 1961. Just one year later, To Kill a Mockingbird was released as a movie, starring Gregory Peck as a well respected white attorney, Atticus Finch, in a small Alabama town, representing a black man wrongly accused of raping a white woman. Peck’s portrayal of Atticus Finch earned him an Academy Award for best actor. It was the humanity demonstrated by Atticus Finch that drew him close to our hearts: a professional man who treated each human being fairly and with respect, regardless of race, religion or economic status.

To Kill a Mockingbird is just as relevant today – 60+ years later – as it was when it was first released. It reminds us of the struggle and tremendous work behind our country’s civil rights movement. Exceptional literature challenges your thinking and opens your eyes, mind and heart to a different perspective, and expands your worldview.

When Lee’s Go Set a Watchman was published in 2015, some fans were disappointed to learn that their beloved Atticus Finch was portrayed as a different character altogether, a bigot and a racist. The book’s release now encourages us as readers to look at each piece of literature on its own and have a conversation. An excellent comparative analysis by Jonathan Sturgeon on Mockingbird and Watchman sheds light on the story behind the creation of the two books.

Millions of high school kids who were required to read Mockingbird thank you, Miss Lee, for educating them about social injustice. And for all those who faced discrimination, racism or bigotry, they thank you for giving voice to their lived experience.

Thank you, Miss Lee, for courageously saying what few people would at the time. Americans of all ages and backgrounds today are still learning the lessons from To Kill a Mockingbird and now Go Set a Watchman. Thank you for initiating the dialogue.