Category Archives: inspiration

Oscar Gets a Voice

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For one day each year the world watches the Academy Awards televised broadcast (and streaming video) with great anticipation. Who will stroll down the red carpet? What divine designs will women wear? What will the Oscar winners say during their acceptance speeches?

This year I was pleasantly surprised that several celebrities colored outside the lines a bit and delivered thoughtful, heartfelt acceptance speeches. In years past, I often marveled at the speech-less-ness of award recipients who inserted awkward uh’s, um’s, you know’s, and oh’s as they stumbled through the most important speech they would ever make. Not this year. Instead of the ordinary, “I would like to thank my agent, and I would like to thank my director, and I would like to thank my fellow cast members…”, the messages were clear and thought provoking. Here are my top picks, in no particular order:

Patricia Arquette (Best Supporting Actress, Boyhood): Arquette used her limited time on the platform to espouse equal pay. Even Meryl Streep shouted a resounding “Yes!!” from her front-row seat.

Common and John Legend (Best Song, Glory, Selma): Co-writers and performers Common and Legend reminded us that 50 years after the historic walk in Selma, our country and the world still struggles with racial injustice and inequality. Their words encouraged us to reflect on what we can do as individuals to continue the fight.

Julianne Moore (Best Actress, Still Alice): My mother-in-law, who passed away in 2013, had Alzheimer’s, so I was pleased to hear Julianne Moore use some of her acceptance speech to educate the audience about the disease.

J.K. Simmons (Best Supporting Actor, Whiplash): Simmons urged viewers around the world to call their mom or dad if they are fortunate enough to still have them on this Earth. I love calling my 94-year-old mom. My dad? I talk to him too and have been reunited with him several times in my dreams.

Graham Moore (Best Screenplay Adaptation, The Imitation Game): Moore spoke openly about his attempt at age 16 to commit suicide. That took courage. He encouraged the audience to celebrate what makes anyone unique and to be more open minded in trying to understand others who are different.

AskHerMoreInstagramSmallReese Witherspoon: Although her work in Wild did not earn her an Oscar, her voice was heard more from the red carpet and social media than from the stage. Witherspoon posted an Instagram supporting #AskHerMore, part of The Representation Project started last year by Amy Poehler’s Smart Girls. The Instagram encouraged red carpet interviewers to ask deeper questions than just “Who are you wearing?”

Watching the Academy Awards got me thinking: If you were standing on a platform that could reach millions of people around the world, what powerful message – of hope or change – would you choose to share with your audience?

Is It Any Wonder, Stevie?

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StevieWonderIs it any wonder that a blind man can show others how to open their eyes and see the world with compassion, joy and love? Acclaimed songwriter, singer and 22-time Grammy Award winner Stevie Wonder was honored recently for his musical genius spanning more than five decades. His messages of acceptance, understanding and love have taught generations to face inequality, injustice and indignity with unified strength and grace.

His honest interpretation of the world as he saw it encouraged people of color to stand up and let their voices be heard. To the audience of privilege and perfection, he exposed them to the reality of life in the city for the poor, the forgotten and the invisible. His music range, as a solo artist, is unparalleled. He wrote openly of indifference. He wrote of political action and justice. He wrote so eloquently of love, birth and renewal. He wrote songs of hope, light and possibilities.

I remember watching “Little Stevie Wonder” perform Fingertips on the Ed Sullivan Show when I was growing up. His passion for the music, his gyrations to the crisp notes flying from his harmonica made me stop and notice. He was just two years older than me, and already a force to be reckoned with. Nothing stopped him from sharing his musical messages with the masses. He remains one of the most beloved artists – and greatest crossover artists – of all time.

My husband, Mark, and I have shared a love of Stevie Wonder’s music over the decades of our relationship. To this day, Ribbon in the Sky remains my all-time favorite. Mark’s favorite (and he requests it at every event we attend that has a DJ) is Superstition. When we finished watching the CBS-TV broadcast on Monday night, I turned to Mark and said, “We need to play Stevie Wonder’s music more often!” He nodded in agreement.

There are so many lessons we can learn from Stevie Wonder. For me, the greatest lesson he has demonstrated: Lead by example. He is a man who has remained authentic throughout his entire life. He has shared his vision of a peaceful planet with millions of people around the world. He remains an inspiration to us all and a cherished national – and international – treasure. Rock on, Stevie!

 

Write a Love Note, Adult Style

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AValentineGirlOpenjpg004The biggest “love day” celebration comes on Valentine’s Day – February 14 – each year, when people remember the people they love and admire the most by offering a card, a call, chocolates, dinner or a gift.

When I was in elementary school, beginning the first week of February, each student would bring in a shoe box, decorated as a repository for classmates’ valentines professing their love (or like) to you. Even the kids who nobody liked received and gave valentines as a sign of unity. With some glue and scissors in hand, I would cut multiple hearts out of red construction paper and add a few of my mom’s paper doilies, add my name – Christine – in big letters (in crayon, of course), and proudly display it at the back of the classroom with the others students’ boxes. Of course I hoped that mine would stand out so my classmates would simply have to put a valentine in my decorated box. The memory is vivid because it was the one time of the year when appreciation was shown through giving and receiving.

In my workshops, people often tell me how much it means to them to receive recognition. “All I want to know is if I’m doing a good job.” “I would like to receive some feedback more often than just during my annual performance review.” Words cost less than valentines. Words cost nothing, yet they can bring such joy and delight when they are sent with love, kindness and good intention.

AValentineGirlClosedjpg003I purchased this adorable valentine at an antique store years ago and recently rediscovered it while cleaning out some drawers. It got me thinking that we need to share our love, appreciation and gratitude with people who mean the most to us more than just once a year. Imagine how different your life would be if you brought the spirit of Valentine’s Day into your daily activities.

Who in your life would you like to give a valentine to? That valentine can come in any form: A written letter, a card, a brief phone call or even an email or text message. Whether it is love or gratitude that you want to acknowledge, appreciation or a thank you for a kind gesture, take the time to do it. People in your life will truly appreciate your thoughtfulness.

OH-IO: A Lesson in Responsibility

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Cardale Jones Photo: Getty Images

The story – and media clips – of the College Football Playoff National Championship game between The Ohio State University Buckeyes and the University of Oregon Ducks will go down in history as teaching top lessons about the power of positive thinking, team building, leadership and responsibility. It’s this last topic, responsibility, that deserves attention.

If you were in the shoes of Cardale Jones, the Buckeyes’ third string quarterback, would you be able to rise to the occasion as he did? How often in your career have you been asked to fill in for someone else who was originally assigned to lead a project team, deliver a conference presentation or meet with a big client? Each time you were chosen as a substitute, you faced a challenge: Do I shirk responsibility (“I can’t do this…I’m not qualified”) or claim responsibility (“I can – and will – deliver”)? Cardale Jones claimed responsibility and with that came victory.

Third string means there were two other quarterbacks ahead of Jones in the line-up. When the lead quarterback was injured, that moved Jones into second position. When that lead quarterback was injured, that moved Jones into the lead QB position. In this lead role for just a few weeks, Cardale Jones led the Buckeyes’ victory over the University of Alabama Crimson Tide in the Sugar Bowl. Two weeks later, Jones again led the Buckeyes into victory over the Ducks with a 42-20 win, clenching the national championship title.

WOW. Congratulations to QB Cardale Jones, running back Ezekiel Elliott, coach Urban Meyer and the entire Buckeyes franchise for winning the national championship. If the media buzz is any indication, this success story will be told and retold for many years to come in schools, community centers and meeting rooms to inspire and motivate people to do their best.

The take away from this historical event: Anything is possible when you align leadership, team and talent with dedication, drive and responsibility. May we all be more responsible in our lives and in the work we do.

Oh, The Places You’ll Go!

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In the classic children’s book, Oh, The Places You’ll Go!, author Dr. Seuss (Theodor Seuss Geisel) begins with:

Congratulations!

Today is your day.

You’re off to Great Places!

You’re off and away!

How wonderful that children are given a glimpse of possibility at such a young age. Let me remind you that at any age you can still dream and imagine the possibilities that lie ahead of you in your life.

When I received my Master of Arts degree in Interpersonal Communication in 1997, the commencement speaker used the theme, Oh, The Places You’ll Go! A smart move because most of the graduates in the auditorium that day grew up reading Dr. Seuss books. Many could recite chapter and verse.

You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself

any direction you choose.

As you embark on a new year’s journey, consider the places you want to go that haven’t quite made it to your priority list. They may reside in the recesses of your brain. You may think about doing them more than actually doing them. What would it take for you to focus on what you want in your life? I use a simple A-B-C method, as outlined in my book, Everything I Do Positions Me: The Simple Path to Professional Success. The key word here is simple. Here it is:

A: Where are you currently positioned? (your current status, current behavior)

C: Fast forward to Where do you want to be positioned? What is your ultimate goal? Your desired future?

B: What sandwiches the gap between A (here and now) and C (the future) is B. What action steps will get you to C?

Example:

A: Poor presentation skills. (current)

C: Polished presenter. (future)

B: Action steps:

  1. Attend a presentations workshop.
  2. Join a Toastmasters group.
  3. Ask my boss to give me more presentation assignments.
  4. Practice in front of the mirror two hours weekly.
  5. Submit a proposal to present at a national professional association conference.

You get the picture. You can go anywhere you want in your career and life. Focus on the things you want most. Create the action steps to get you there. Enjoy the results. It’s that simple.

You’ll be on your way up!

You’ll be seeing great sights!

You’ll join the high fliers

who soar to high heights.

Visit Seussville or Amazon to order your own copy of Oh, The Places You’ll Go! to keep you motivated! Watch a short YouTube video of the book, read by actor John Lithgow.

Title and quotes are copyrighted material, Dr. Seuss Enterprises.

Because I’m Happy

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BalloonsIt seems fitting to close out 2014 with recognition of Pharrell Williams’ “Happy,” the most played song on the radio in 2014. It also claimed the top spot on Billboard Magazine’s Hot 100 songs. You can only feel one thing when you listen to this catchy tune: Happy. How refreshing…Happiness and hope are remembered, not forgotten.

Amidst a chaotic world and turbulent times, it makes me happy to know that there are other people who crave – and encourage – happiness in their lives.

The volumes of research on the topic of happiness include Dr. Michael Fordyce’s happiness increase studies in the 1970s and the creation of the Fordyce Happiness Scale. Dr. Ed Diener of the University of Illinois is one of the most well respected (and cited) psychologists on the topic of subjective well-being. New York Times best selling author Gretchen Rubin has penned several contemporary books on the topic, including The Happiness Project. Today’s research has become more sophisticated. You can even participate in the Track Your Happiness research project that tracks your attitude towards life through your iPhone.

Think of the top ten things that make you happy. How much time do you invest in doing those things that make you happy? It’s time to create your list. It could include simple things. A hug. A conversation. Quiet time. Here’s a peek at my top ten list of the things that make me happy:

  1. My husband, Mark, gives me the freedom to be myself, and that makes me happy.
  2. Cherished conversations with my 94-year old Mom ground me.
  3. A solo walk in the park reminds me that I am part of a larger world.
  4. Quality time with people who I truly care about and who accept me for who I am is time well spent.
  5. Our two rescue cats bring me tremendous joy.
  6. Eating warm, fresh-baked bread (is there anything better?) helps me to stop and savor the flavor.
  7. Challenging, meaningful work keeps me engaged and interested.
  8. Contributing to charitable organizations allows me to help others.
  9. Gardening lets me create a beautiful environment and provides me with much-needed quite time.
  10. Singing out loud to a favorite song when no one else is around, well, that is so freeing.

As 2014 ends and 2015 begins, let me ask you this: What if you could share your happiness with others? What if you could share your support, care, even wealth, with people? You can. Something as simple as a kind word can bring a smile to someone’s face. And seeing that smile will make you feel happy. Speaking of happy…Happy New Year!

The Age of the Sage

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1MomSmallThis week, my Mom turned 94. You heard me right…94! So far, she has outlived her husband by six years. She has outlived her mother by nine years. She has outlived every friend that she had from her younger days. And yet, she is as young at heart, interested and curious about the world as people half her age.

During the holidays at this time of year, people often ask “What are you thankful for?” For me, I am thankful for fully enjoying my mother in her twilight years. When I was younger, I didn’t give age much thought. My parents were simply my parents, always there for me, helping me when I needed help and supporting whatever I wanted to do with my life.Now, it’s time for me to be there for my Mom, to help and support her in the many things that she still wants to do at her age.

As an artist, my Mom is still painting and entering her paintings in local art exhibitions. As a cook and baker, she is still cooking and baking for herself and (thank goodness) for others who marvel at the fact that her culinary skills are in tact. As an avid reader, she reads every day – library books, magazines and of course her daily mail. As a faithful person, she says her prayers and rosary each morning, attends church every week and supports every special fund there is. As a natural caregiver, she thoughtfully provides and delivers meals to friends and family who are  recovering from surgery or experiencing the loss of a loved one. As the family matriarch, she knows everyone’s birthday or anniversary, and has a card ready to go in the mail when those important days come. When she hears of the upcoming arrival of a baby, she immediately gets busy knitting or crocheting a baby blanket.

My Mom is part of the “greatest” generation who grew up with traditional values of family, faith, honesty, loyalty and hard work. Each day, we lose thousands of this generation, and with them we lose their stories, their traditions and their caring nature. That’s why I am enjoying every minute with my Mom.

What sages are in your life that you can take the time to get to know better, to serve, or help? A parent? A grandparent? An aunt or uncle? A neighbor? A former teacher? Their history and experiences could enrich your life. Start the conversation today.

A Life Well Lived…and Celebrated

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MatkaValleyLegacyLast week, my 93-year-old mother was included among 24 outstanding seniors and 5 senior advocates honored for exemplary community contributions and lifetime achievements in my hometown area. As each honoree’s name was called, a brief biographical description captured the essence of that person’s interests and passions in both life and career. Every individual being honored was a dedicated volunteer and activist. As I listened with great intensity, I was reminded that we can either choose to remain passive or become actively engaged in the direction and purpose of our life.
The comment made by a retired veteran and amputee who happened to be one of the top five award recipients stuck with me. In a strong New York borough accent, he said, “You just gotta do whatcha gotta do.” This is what his comment means to me:

Do what you want to do. There is a big difference between wanting something and needing something. When you do what you want to do, you are unstoppable. Nothing and no one can stand in the way of your success and achievements.

Believe that you can do it. It didn’t matter whether someone volunteered with children, landscaped a local park or helped to feed the hungry, they all believed that they could contribute their talents and skills to the cause.

Put your best effort into everything you do. None of the honorees struck me as the highly competitive type, who just wanted to rack up points for popularity. Giving their best was ingrained in their DNA. They gave only their best to everything they did, whether at home, at work, or in their community.

Serve others and serve yourself well. There is no greater joy in life than contributing to another person’s well-being and success. Teaching English to a new immigrant or serving meals at the local shelter, no matter what you do, when you do it for others, it makes you feel good about yourself and what you are able to give.

Inspire others. Your actions will do more to inspire others than you could ever imagine. When I left the luncheon, my heart was full, and I was inspired to do more and give more of myself to others.

Fast forward a few decades. Imagine that you are a senior in your 60s, 70s, 80s or even 90s, being honored for your lifetime achievements. What will they say about you? Return to today: What can you give of your talents and skills to others between now and then?

Remembering Mattie Stepanek

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2003-Mattie-head-shot-LO

Ten years ago this week, America lost a young hero, Mattie Stepanek. His name may not be widely recognized, yet, his poetry and his passion for life touched the hearts of young and old alike. Mattie Stepanek achieved more in his short life – just 13 years – than most do in a lifetime.

I first discovered the poetry of Mattie Stepanek while standing in a bookstore in 2001. A table near the front door was filled with dozens of copies of a featured book entitled Heartsongs. It was the cover’s whimsical design and vibrant colors that captured my attention. I opened to the first page of the book. Greeting me was a photograph of the author, Matthew Joseph Thaddeus Stepanek, along with his biography. I began reading his heartwarming story. In this book of poetry, I selected and read several poems. As I read his story, I learned that Mattie was born with a rare disease, Dysautonomic Mytichondrial Myopathy, which interrupts the body’s automatic functions, like breathing, heart rate, blood pressure and digestion. It also causes muscle weakness.

Mattie began writing poetry at the age of three. From an early age, he accepted his disease, even though he required a ventilator, regular blood transfusions, medicine, therapy, leg braces and eventually a specially designed power wheelchair. As a prolific author of several New York Times best sellers, he appeared on all of the major television networks (yes, he appeared on Oprah), cable and radio stations and was featured in most major print publications.

His message was simple: Love life and love one another. Despite a life-threatening disease, he joyously embraced life and treasured each day. The disease claimed the lives of Mattie’s three older siblings and then in 2004, it claimed his life. He wrote seven books and created several audio recordings. He regarded himself as a peacemaker because he truly cared about the global community.

I keep his poetry books on my bedroom nightstand, ready to be picked up and read any time I need to listen to Mattie’s words of hope, love and joy. To learn more about Mattie’s legacy and the continuing work of his mother, Jeni Stepanek, Ph.D., and the Mattie J.T. Stepanek Foundation, visit www.mattieonline.com. Be sure to sign the petition by July 17, 2014 to officially create a Mattie J.T. Stepanek Peace Day.

“Peace is possible…it can begin simply over a game of chess and a cup of tea.” Mattie J.T. Stepanek

Photo: Mattieonline.com