Category Archives: Attitude

Spring Cleaning is Both Ritual and Metaphor

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Detail of a cherry treeWhen I was growing up, my mother took Spring cleaning very seriously. It was that one time of year when everything, and I mean everything, was cleaned. Walls. Venetian blinds. Floors. Closets. Cupboards. Carpets. It was both a cherished yet dreaded annual ritual. Cherished because it was a symbol of putting the cold, gray days of Winter behind us and opening up the home to the freshness of Spring. Dreaded because what child “loves” to do house work? My tolerance came from knowing that I would receive a slightly larger allowance that week for the extra work performed.

Rituals – like Spring cleaning – get us through life. They serve as milestones of what lies behind and what lies ahead. Another season is ending and another beginning. Another year has passed. When that ritual serves as a metaphor, that’s when it gets really interesting.

The activity and motion of Spring cleaning can be invigorating. Don’t give me that look. Hear me out. When you throw yourself into chores with complete abandon, each completed task leaves you feeling renewed and fresh, just like the home you are cleaning. Apply that action as a metaphor to your life, and see what happens.

What lies hidden in your closets that needs to be cleaned out? Old thoughts? Old beliefs? Longtime grudges? Dust off those cobwebs in your mind. Give your thinking a good scrubbing. Clean up your behavior.

Here’s a great exercise, and it doesn’t even require any real equipment. Imagine seeing a slate in front of you. With your hand, simply wipe that slate clean by making a light sweeping motion. Wipe the slate clean. It’s a fresh start, and an effective visualization tool. Apply it to any part of your life. Now imagine your old ways of thinking that can be swept clean.

With the Winter that we have experienced this year, we are all ready for Spring. What old thinking or behavior can you dismiss and free yourself for better days ahead?

Olympic Lessons Are Plentiful

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olympic-rings-cool2I admit it…my 2014 Winter Olympics withdrawal is in full swing. Seventeen glorious days of winter sports events, full of pageantry, anticipation, victory and defeat. With every viewing came a lesson. Here are a few:

Silver is just as exciting as gold. US skeleton racer Noelle Pikus-Pace leapt into her husband’s arms with a radiant smile, shouting, “We did it! We did it!” She enthusiastically and proudly accepted a silver medal. She raced for her family, and this was her final Olympic competition. Often times athletes are disappointed to receive a silver or bronze. In this case, Pikus-Pace demonstrated a positive spirit and true grace as a medal winner.

Even a ponytail can Tweet. US figure skater Jason Brown, who dons a neatly coiffed ponytail, created a Twitter account…for his ponytail, some call a bronytail, reporting news and events from Sochi. A brilliant marketing move. If you are afraid to use social media, this proves that if a ponytail can do it, so can you!

Every hero has a hero. Canadian mogul skier Alex Bilodeau won the gold for Canada and for his older brother, Frederic, who has Cerebral Palsy. “He is my hero,” Alex says of his big brother. As Alex crossed the finish line, it was hard to tell who was more excited about the victory – Alex or Frederic. Alex won back-to-back gold in this Olympic freestyle sport.

Patience is the greatest virtue. Paired for 17 years, US ice dancers Meryl Davis and Charlie White gracefully and elegantly grabbed the gold, reminding us that all important goals in life are worth the wait. And speaking of waiting, let’s include two extremely patient and proud mothers.

When you fall, get up and keep going. When US figure skater Jeremy Abbott fell and crashed into the wall of the ice rink, the audience gasped, expecting him to limp off the ice. Instead, he slowly stood up, regained his composure and finished skating an otherwise flawless program. That’s class and determination.

Community trumps adversity. With the negative hype leading up to and surrounding the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia, the athletes in Olympic Village proved that despite differences, people of various cultures and backgrounds can get along. And they did. Isn’t that what the phrase “Olympic spirit” means?

As you watch the upcoming Olympics – the 2016 Summer Games in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil or the 2018 Winter Olympics in Pyeong Chang, South Korea – watch not just for the victories and defeats; look for the important lessons that spur you on as you compete in this wonderful game called life.

Photo credit: Photobucket.com

 

The Value of Vacation

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14068931-beach-and-tropical-seaStop what you are doing. Take a breath. Imagine that you are sitting in front of the ocean. Its vastness stretches as far as the eye can see. The sky is a clear blue with a few wisps of clouds. The horizon between water and sky blends almost seamlessly. The sun warms your body. The breeze is light and refreshing.You don’t have to be anywhere or do anything. There is no business suit to wear. No meetings to attend. No urgent phone calls to make. This is not a normal day for you. No, you are not dreaming. You are on vacation. You are living in the moment.

“I haven’t taken a vacation in a long time” you say? Why is that? Is it because you are too busy, too important or “the only person who could get the work done” to take off some time? Everyone is expendable to a certain point, and that even includes you. Whether you take off one day, two weeks or one month, build vacation into your annual calendar. You will clear your mind, function much better, and the people around you – both at work and at home – will be happier as a result.

In case you have forgotten, let me remind you of the benefits of vacation time:

Vacation provides a change of scenery. When you change what you’re looking at, it opens up your mind to see things differently. It shifts your perspective. Instead of seeing the same things, you will see something new and fresh.

Vacation introduces new experiences. Whether you travel to a new destination or return to the same place every so often, new experiences will be waiting for you. A new restaurant to try. A new beach to discover. A new museum to visit. A new trail to hike. Be open to those new experiences.

Vacation reacquaints you with yourself. Sometimes you lose yourself in work and forget who you are underneath it all. When you strip away the business suit and shoes, and let your bare feet feel the warmth of the sand or the coolness of the ocean’s water, you rediscover a side of you that you may have forgotten.

Vacation introduces you to new people and other beings. You meet interesting people on planes, boats and trains, in airports, at retail shops or tourist destinations. Some of my most memorable encounters happened while vacationing. I met Silver Hans on a train in Germany. I met a village elder, Kaki, in Bali. I met a wild horse with no name on Assateague Island, Maryland.

Why does it take a vacation to remind you that there is tremendous value taking off that time? Take out a pen and paper. Write “This year I am vacationing in…” Fill in the blank with one or several destinations. Select a time. Book it. Enjoy your vacation!

Right now, I am sitting by the pool in the Florida Keys, admiring a picture perfect day, soaking up the sounds, sunshine and positive energy, and sending this important message to you. I am having a wonderful time. How about you?

Dear Mother Nature: Thank You

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WinterHemlocksDear Mother Nature:

Thank you for reminding me that there are forces larger than me in this world; that there are certain things that I cannot control in my life. The weather is one of them. I accept that.

Thank you for giving me a reason to pause and reflect on the beauty of nature. During these times, I create a “snow meditation.” I simply sit, with crossed legs, and look outside to our snow-covered hemlocks (pictured above). I am transported to a quiet, peaceful place.

Thank you for snow. As an Aquarian, my love affair with snow has always been there. During my childhood, living in the snow belt of the Midwest, I thought it was normal to have a minimum of one foot of snow on the ground at all times during the winter.

Thank you for inventing Snow Days. What’s that you say? That wasn’t your idea? Are you sure about that? When I was growing up, there was no such thing as a Snow Day. We walked to school back then. I sound more like my father every day.

Thank you for reminding me how peaceful snow is. It feels good to hear the quiet of snow as it’s falling on my face and jacket. When I am fully present in that magical moment, I am one with nature.

Thank you for sending me a message of gratitude. Whether it’s the Polar Vortex or Winter Storm Nika that is rearranging my schedule, I feel most grateful for what I have. Many people are in need…of a roof over their head, food on their table or even spare change in their pocket. During severe winter weather like this, we need to reach out to our families, neighbors and strangers to make sure they are all right, to let them know that someone is there to help. At times like this, we look at both our individual and collective needs, as a community and as a nation. Let’s help each other and face the storm together.

Who Inspires You?

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Elderly Woman Smiling Wearing a Swimming Cap in a Swimming PoolWhether it’s someone you have known for years, someone you have just met or someone you have never met yet admired from afar, there are people who come into your life and inspire you. Who inspires you? What does that person inspire you to do or be?

It happened to me this past week. I returned to our local recreation center to begin exercising again. (I usually take a break in the warmer months because outdoor activities like bicycling, walking and gardening take the place of indoor exercise). I walked into our circuit exercise room and said hello to a woman who I had not seen in nearly six months. It didn’t take me long to realize that she had lost a lot of weight. “Wow. You look great. You’ve lost some weight,” I said. “Yes…I’ve lost 79 pounds total. It’s almost the weight of another person!” she replied. “I’ve had to replace my entire wardrobe. My daughter says she remembers me being this size when she was growing up. That was a few decades ago.” Diane started her fitness journey 11 months ago. She comes to the recreation center just about every day, works the circuit room and walks three miles. She also eats right. And…she is in her 70s. She has succeeded because she has a goal and the discipline to reach that goal.

I continued my workout, going from machine to machine, lifting, shifting, stepping and thinking about that five pounds that I have wanted to melt away for years. Five pounds? Are you kidding me? I could lose that in one month…if…I had the discipline. There is nothing stopping me from achieving this small goal. Diane inspired me. I found myself saying, “If Diane could lose 79 pounds, I could certainly lose 5.”

Consider all the people who have inspired you and who continue to inspire you in your life. Then ask yourself, “How can I inspire others?” And ask a much bigger question, “How can I inspire myself?”

Take Time to Retreat

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Sunrise at Yumigahama BeachImagine getting away from everything that is familiar to you, allowing yourself to experience something new. In the process, you get to know yourself at a much deeper level. That, in essence, is what a retreat is designed to do.

Retreats come in every size and shape, offering a short or long stay, structured or unstructured, communal or private, religious or nondenominational. Your primary goal is reflection, either about your personal life or your professional life. Searching the internet, or following recommendations of friends or colleagues, you will find hundreds of retreat centers and spiritual centers around the world. Some include simple, rustic accommodations and ask for a freewill offering. Others feature more modern facilities, an organized plan and fee structure. Some retreats are self-directed; others are organized for you.

I enjoyed my first self-directed retreat five years ago and chose a private hermitage in a natural setting. For me, the term self-directed meant “Be open to see what each day brings.” I was fully present in each moment. My journal was my constant companion. I looked at every experience with fresh eyes and captured those thoughts on paper. Recently, I revisited that journal. As I read my words, I relived the experience.

If you are feeling unfocused, scattered in your thinking or overwhelmed, a retreat may be just what you need. Schedule regular time for yourself each year to go on a retreat to just be or to think, create and plan. When you plan a retreat, do it with an open mind and open heart. You will return home feeling rejuvenated and more focused.

When will you plan your next retreat?

What Are Your Words Worth?

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MegaphoneWPeopleWords define us. They shape our attitudes and beliefs. They express our perceptions. They also help to create our reality. Words can demonstrate strength or weakness. What words are you using? What are your words worth?

Imagine that you have been diagnosed with cancer and are sitting in a hospital room, ready to undergo your first chemotherapy session. You have decided that you want to face cancer with a positive attitude and humor in your heart. You sit in the chemo lounge chair and put on a red foam clown nose. It puts you in a better frame of mind for this new life experience. A nurse then comes over to you, with a smirk on her face, and says in a stern voice, “Why are you wearing a clown nose? Don’t you know you have cancer?”

What would you do? My colleague, Eddie, was seated in that chair in September, 1999. His response was, “Just because I have cancer doesn’t mean I am not allowed to have joy in my life!” Wow. I hope that nurse listened to Eddie’s words carefully because they offer us an important life lesson: Never give up. The nurse’s attitude didn’t sour Eddie’s outlook on life. The clown nose remained in place.

Many years have passed since his first chemotherapy session, and I am pleased to say that Eddie remains cancer-free. Now that’s a positive attitude. Eddie’s story reminds us that every day we can choose positive over negative. Which would you prefer to be? Like the nurse? Or like Eddie? The key is that you can choose to be positive. Put on your own red clown nose when you need it and step into the world with grace and dignity!

Take a Hike or Jump in the Lake!

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sunglasses by poolIt’s summertime…that time of year when the weather is warmer, the days are longer and nature beckons you to escape outdoors. When you get out and enjoy what is around you, you will create a positive shift for your mind, body and spirit (and the people around you will be happier). Here are a few ideas:

  • Inhale, exhale. When you breathe in fresh air (rather than recirculated indoor air), your brain will be refreshed and stimulated by the intake of oxygen, resulting in clearer thinking.
  • Shift your focus. Focusing on one task for too long leads to fuzzy thinking. Put a task aside, focus on something that doesn’t require such intense thinking, then come back to it later.
  • Move it! Movement stimulates thinking. If you are struggling or are sluggish, get up and move. It will open up your thinking.
  • Clear your mind. Just like clearing the computer of cookies, clearing your mind lets you start fresh.
  • Go outside every day. Even if you have just five minutes, spend it outside in nature. Enjoy your morning coffee on the deck. Stop at the park on your way home from work. Walk around the neighborhood. Play with your dog or your kids in the back yard.
  • Share the space with others. If you are a team leader, why not host your next team meeting outside? The ideas will flow when people are surrounded by green space rather than white space.

Including nature in your daily activities allows you to stress less, interact better with work colleagues and produce higher quality work.

Look on the Bright Side

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White Clouds in Blue SkyMy favorite song of the hit musical, Monty Python’s Spamalot, is Always Look on the Bright Side of Life. Leave it to the creative minds of the Monty Python team to develop a spoof of the beloved story of Camelot. The song suggests that even amidst the challenges of the 12th Century, people can still remain positive. (And, of course, the catchy songs will stick in your head, so buying the soundtrack is a must). While our lives have certainly changed throughout the centuries, one thing remains the same: A positive attitude can lift you out of the most dismal of circumstances.

Take rain, for instance. We have received a fair amount of it during the past few months. Some people only associate rain with dark, gloomy skies and dreariness. They see one rain drop and the negative comments pour in. “This Spring was just awful. We had way too much rain” some will say. “I just wish all this rain would go away” others will add. They forget that rain is an essential part of the cycle of life. Without water, we die.

As a Master Gardener, I love rain. It means I don’t have to water my garden. Mother Nature handles it for me (and she does a far better job than I do anyway). When I look at my garden, I see lush, colorful plants, happy to receive the natural – rather than chemically treated – water. When someone makes a negative comment about rain, I spin it to the positive. “This is the best my garden has looked in the past few years,” I say. I choose to see things differently.

What attitude are you projecting? Do you inspire and motivate others to look on the bright side of life?

The Joy of Play

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526375_friendsSomething bizarre happens to us as we enter adulthood. We are transformed from carefree youths into serious adults, believing that’s what society expects of us. Yet, it if we set aside time every day or a few times each week to play, what a difference that would make in our attitude and our overall well-being. The National Institute for Play says that play can, in essence, make us smarter. Have you played Frisbee lately? When was the last time you played shuffleboard, squash, badminton or croquet? Blown bubbles? Played a word game like Boggle or Scrabble?

The historic “Northeast Blackout” power outage in August, 2003 affected more than 55 million people in eight U.S. Northeastern and Midwestern states and the Canadian province of Ontario. This forced my husband Mark and me to play the word game Boggle by candlelight. It was so much fun. The game had remained in our closet untouched for years. Now, we pull out the Boggle game from the bookshelf regularly and spend time playing it. We also enjoy joining our friend John at his regularly scheduled Game Nights at his home.

Richard Tait, co-founder of the popular game Cranium, says, “Play is a basic need, just like air, water, and the five food groups.” When was the last time you played? Gazed at the stars? Looked at clouds and figured out what they could be? Find a way to play every day (even if it’s for five or ten minutes) and you will experience a positive difference in your attitude and health.