Category Archives: Communication

When the Student is Ready, the Teacher Appears…and Reappears

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Photo credit: Fischer Twins for unsplash.com

Photo credit: Fischer Twins for unsplash.com

It was the title of the article that first captured my attention more than 30 years ago as a budding, young professional:

Work Hard; Love People; Be A Professional

Then, the first sentence, in all capital letters, begins: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT JOB.

The article, written by Elinor J. Wilson, then Director of the Colgate University Bookstore and sitting President (1985-86) of the National Association of College Stores, appeared in The College Store Journal.

The same article title that caught my attention all those years ago stood out the other day, as I purged old paper files and organized my office. Asking myself the all-important question as I touched each memory, “Does it stay or does it go?,” the answer was an emphatic “Stay!” The fading copy is carefully and meticulously highlighted in yellow, with specific words and phrases then underlined in red.

That first paragraph continues with, “In any position, you will find some duties which, if they are not unpleasant immediately, eventually will be. Success depends not merely on how well you do things you enjoy, but how conscientiously you perform those duties you don’t enjoy.” Reread this last sentence. What refreshing honesty. These words of wisdom could be incorporated easily into new employee orientation or onboarding programs.

Wilson outlines several specific, simple rules to better one’s chance for success:

• Have ambition

• Learn everything you can about your work

• Broaden your horizons

• Set your goals high

• Learn self-discipline and self-reliance

• Communicate effectively; put your ideas into clear language

• Be thorough; cover every side of a question; follow every lead

• Set a definite goal for yourself

She adds, “Before you know it, you may find the ladder of success stretching out below you instead of rising ominously in front of you.” She emphasizes how important it is to Keep (maintain action by care and labor) Doing (deeds of interest and excitement). The true professional is in constant motion, continuously improving, and including others in important decisions.

One of my favorite sections of the article, though, is a discussion about time.

“If you had a bank that credited your account each morning with $86,400, that carried over no balance from day to day, and allowed you to keep no cash in your account, and every evening cancelled whatever part of the amount you had failed to use during the day, what would you do? Draw out every cent, of course!

“Well, you have such a bank, and its name is time. Every morning it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it rules off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdrafts.

“Each day it opens a new account with you. Each night it burns the records of the day. If you fail to use the day’s deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against the tomorrow. You must live in the present, on today’s deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success.

“The secret for controlling time is that there is always enough time to do what is really important. The difficulty is knowing what is really important.”

Wilson encourages the reader to focus on professional development, hard work, dedication, and resourcefulness. “Be a giver to life instead of just a receiver,” she adds.

She ends the article with one simple sentence: “The light of leadership shines only because of the spark offered by each individual.”

Wilson’s words of wisdom are as relevant today as they were when she wrote them more than three decades ago. I hope they resonate within you as they continue to do within me. There is so much more that we can do to contribute and create positive change in our workplaces, our communities, and in the world. Keep doing. Work hard. Love people. Be a professional.

To Build Client Relationships, All You Need Is Love

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love-is-all-you-needHow much love are you giving to your clients? How do you show them that you care?

While some people focus more on romantic love on Valentine’s Day — showing affection through flowers, candy, or a romantic dinner — it’s the more universal meaning of love that reminds us that we can do  more to meet the needs of our clients. The Oxford Dictionaries defines love as “an intense feeling of deep affection” or “a person or thing that one loves.”

One of the most iconic songs about love, All You Need Is Love, written by John Lennon, sung by the Beatles, and released in July, 1967 shares a message that is just as relevant today as it was back then.

If you were to show your clients (internal and external) how you love and care about them, what would that look like? How would you show them that you care? Here are some simple tips to help you give more love to your clients:

Get personal. In all relationships, whether business or personal, we learn about each other by sharing information about our lives, not just our business experience. Learn about your client’s personal life, hobbies, interests, family, charitable causes, life goals, greatest challenges, and triumphs. The more you know, the deeper your relationship can become.

Acknowledge that you enjoy working with them. All too often, we rely on implicit rather than explicit communication, which can keep people guessing. If you love working with a client, tell that client exactly how you feel. “I enjoyed working with you on this project because we brought our individual strengths to the process. I look forward to working on our next project.”

Keep in touch. It’s easy to get busy working on other things, yet it’s so simple to pick up the phone, send a quick email or text to check in with your clients. Your thoughtfulness will go a long way to deepen your relationship.

Get in the habit of asking. We often forget to ask the much-needed question: “What else can I do to help you?” This will get your client thinking beyond today, and planning for the future. If your client hasn’t thought about this, your question will get the ideation process moving.

Show your appreciation. Your client could go to someone else for services, yet you were the person who was chosen for the project. Send your client a note of appreciation that says “I value you as a client.”

Have fun. The best working relationships that show love in action are those where people feel comfortable with each other and bring more of their authentic selves to the relationship. They have fun. My favorite clients are the ones who share that mutual feeling…I love working with and being with them, and they feel the same way about me.

As you look at your relationships with your clients, answer these questions:

What are you doing to make your clients feel more connected to you?

How can you show your love to your clients?

Don’t just express your appreciation one day each year. Show your clients how much you value them throughout the year.

In Praise of Old School

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Photo credit: Eric Rothermel, unsplash.com

Photo credit: Eric Rothermel, unsplash.com

“I can’t believe you still use an old-fashioned calendar,” my friend said. “You realize that you could use your phone, even your computer instead.” Yes, of course I realize that. I choose to roll “Old School” when it comes to calendars, though.

As a Baby Boomer, technology hasn’t come easily to me. I wasn’t born with a mobile device or a computer in my hands like Generations Y or Z. Don’t get me wrong. I own an iPhone, an iPod, an iPad, and of course, a MacBook Pro. I have my social media accounts. I use some favorite apps. But my calendar? I’m simply old-fashioned.

There’s a lesson to be learned here for all of us. You have your way of doing things. I have my way of doing things. It’s called choice. We are all entitled to it, and we all take advantage of doing things our way. If you have ever found yourself in a situation where you said to another person, “What we have here is a failure to communicate,” often, the “failure” in communicating is simply not understanding why people do things the way they do. We expect everyone to behave exactly as we do, yet, we know that’s not just improbable, it’s impossible.

The key to understanding others is this: We learn in different ways, the most common being Visual (see it), Auditory (hear it), and Kinesthetic (experience or feel it).

In my case, I’m a Visual Kinesthetic. That means that I learn best when seeing and experiencing something new. With my calendar, my Visual and Kinesthetic needs are both fulfilled. Visual: The calendar sits on my desk, so I see it every day (without having to boot up my cell phone or turn on my computer). Kinesthetic: Writing information in the calendar is a physical action that allows me to remember much better. Because an electronic calendar resides on my laptop or my phone, I can go for days without “seeing” it. I never miss appointments because I see my calendar sitting on my desk.

Auditory learners don’t need to write things down as much as Kinesthetic learners do. Don’t fret if Jane isn’t taking notes at a meeting; chances are, she is Auditory and will remember every word she heard. And yes, she remembers the words to every song she has ever heard.

If you work with – or live with – someone who does things differently from you, don’t try to change them to your behavior. Instead, understand that they are behaving that way because they are wired that way. If Bob needs to leave himself a Post-It Note as a reminder to file a document the following day, leave Bob be. It works for him.

Observe your team members. See if you can figure out who is a Visual, Auditory, or Kinesthetic learner. Once you realize how they are wired, you will be able to tailor your message to them. You’ll be happy. They’ll be happy. You’ll also find that productivity goes up when you don’t try to change other people to your learning style.

What Every Presenter Can Learn From Oprah Winfrey’s Golden Globes Speech

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75th Annual Golden Globe Awards - Season 75At this year’s Golden Globe Awards event, which was held on January 7, 2018, Oprah Winfrey delivered the speech of a lifetime, as the recipient of the Cecile B. DeMille Award for Lifetime Achievement for her accomplished career in television and movies.

This was no ordinary acceptance speech. Her presentation – both in content and delivery – is one that will endure over time as one of the most powerful of its kind, as you can see on video or listen to on Spotify. It was an opportunity for Oprah to use her dedicated time on the platform to share an important message: “Time’s Up,” a movement begun by women in the entertainment industry to draw attention to and give voice to the pervasive societal issue of sexual harassment and sexual assault. Women attending the Golden Globes event chose to wear black as a visual symbol of their unity and support of Time’s Up. Refreshingly, red carpet interviews with celebrities focused on the Times Up message rather than couture dresses. Time better spent.

Here’s what made Oprah’s speech so successful and why college professors and speech coaches will be referencing it for years to come:

Attention getting. Oprah opened with an anecdote from her childhood. She remembered at that young age watching television, as an Oscar award for best actor was presented to Sidney Poitier, a black man who served as a positive role model for her. Her story tapped into the emotion of the audience.

Clarity of message. In my presentation skills programs, I remind participants to make their message meaningful and memorable through clarity. Oprah’s message did just that. She communicated her intent clearly and concisely.

Relevance. A message must be relevant to the needs of the audience. In this case, an audience of millions, from ordinary everyday people to celebrities. Her powerful message resonated with people across cultures and socio-economic classes because the time had come to speak openly about an otherwise hushed subject.

Intentional intonation. A good orator uses the voice as an instrument and masters vocal variety. Oprah’s words, so eloquently prepared and delivered, were shared with perfect emphasis and volume.

Use of stories. Stories create an emotional connection with the audience. Oprah shared several stories and personal anecdotes, about her childhood, her hard-working mother, and stories of inspirational female luminaries like Recy Taylor and Rosa Parks.

Selfless content. Oprah’s speech wasn’t about her; it was about a critical societal issue far greater. Audiences often complain about self-centered presenters, saying “All he did was talk about himself. Blah, blah, blah.” Oprah gave voice to a persistent problem in our society, and elevated her message to rise above the ordinary.

Inspiration. Her powerful words provided inspiration to millions of women and girls to speak openly and truthfully about sexually harassment and sexual assault. Those words provided inspiration to all who listened, including men who play an important part in making voices heard. To any disenfranchised people whose voices have gone unheard or who have ever been violated, undervalued or under appreciated in any way there was a recognition that their voices too were being heard.

Power-packed ending. The energy in the room exploded when Oprah emphatically began building her closing remarks with the statement, “A new day is on the horizon…”

So many people were openly inspired and motivated that Oprah’s acceptance speech immediately started a speculative buzz about whether she would consider running for President in 2020. To borrow one of Oprah’s signature phrases, “This I know for sure”…Words really do have power, tremendous power. Words can spark curiosity, command attention, and motivate others to take action. Words can take you to places where you never before imagined or dreamed.

Questions:

In what way can you incorporate more power into your presentations?

How can you better motivate and inspire others to take action?

Photo credit: Paul Drinkwater, NBC News

Pause and Reflect With Powerful Questions

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Photo credit: Glenn-Carson Peters, unsplash.com

Photo credit: Glenn Carsten-Peters, unsplash.com

Happy New Year, and welcome to a year of possibilities. Regardless of how 2017 ended for you, the benefit of turning that calendar page to a new year is that you have an entire year ahead of you, ready for planning and action. Here are a series of questions to keep you focused and engaged in making 2018 a productive and meaningful year for you.

First, Take a Brief Look Back

While it’s not often healthy to dwell in the past, it is helpful to take stock and summarize how the past year went for you.

What were the high points of the year?

What did you do extremely well?

In what areas did you exceed your own expectations?

Did you meet or exceed your goals?

What were the top three lessons you learned from your experiences? (Include both career and life experiences)

Who provided you with valuable mentoring or coaching expertise and guidance?

If you could use one word to sum up 2017 for you, what word would it be?

Now, Look at This Moment Only

After you have reflected on the year that has just passed, now turn your attention to this moment…right now, today. Don’t even look at or think about tomorrow yet. Answer a few simple questions:

How are you feeling about yourself, your life, right now? (Good? Not so good? Not sure?)

If you could choose to do anything at this very moment, what would it be? (Is it something you usually do or rarely do?)

What are you most grateful for today? (Do you feel this way every day? Sometimes? Never?)

What person(s) are you coming into contact with today, and why? (Are there positive or negative feelings attached to that person/those people?)

In what way are you living your core values today?

What one word best describes your attitude today?

Last, Take a Look Ahead

Good for you. You have summarized the past year. You have taken a moment to value and appreciate how you’re feeling today. Now the fun begins…the future! The thing about life is, even if you have planned out everything in the finest detail, there are going to be unexpected twists, turns and events that can postpone or sidetrack your goals. How resilient or flexible will you be when that happens? How long will it take for you to get back on track?

Looking out across the next 12 months, what is the one big goal that you want to achieve this year?

If you took that big goal and divided it into 12 smaller chunks (by month), what would your plan look like?

Example: If your goal is to write a book (which is a big goal; I speak from experience), then what steps do you need to take between now (no book) to then (finished product in your hands)?

What resources will you need to accomplish your goals?

What mentoring or coaching services would you need to help you meet your goals?

Looking at December, 2018, if you were to look back on the year that has just passed, what would you like to say about your accomplishments?

I hope these questions have helped you to put into perspective the year that just passed, where you are today, and where you would like to be in 2018. May it be one of your best years ever.

Responsibility Needs an Overhaul

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responsibilityWho are you responsible for or to? Well, first of all, you are responsible for yourself…specifically your actions and behavior. You also may be responsible for your family, for your work team, and you may even take responsibility for your community and beyond.
 
Just how responsible do you feel to others? You may think “It depends.”
 
The news recently of yet another case of sexual harassment – this time with movie mogul Harvey Weinstein – got me thinking. Do we as employers, leaders, bosses, or co-workers have any responsibility for shedding light on sexual harassment when it doesn’t “involve” or “impact” us? Unfortunately, people don’t want to get involved because they figure it’s not “their” problem. Nothing could be further from the truth. Every one of us is responsible to get actively involved in stopping this pervasive societal problem.
 
Most company employee manuals contain a section on inappropriate behavior in the workplace and even more specific retribution for sexual harassment. As we have learned through some national media examples, even for some companies who do have it in writing, those rules can still be violated, and the perpetrator’s actions are often quietly tolerated and ignored.
 
Specific language, whether verbal or nonverbal, provides context and meaning when it comes to sexual harassment. For example, there is a difference between a man telling a female co-worker, “You look great” and “Wow, that dress really shows off all of your curves, and in just the right places too.” And if the latter statement is accompanied by any physical contact, that’s sexual harassment.
 
If you see it, if you hear it, or if you experience it, then take responsibility and give voice to it. Don’t be silent. Nothing is more painful than hearing someone say “We all knew how he was.” Sorry. That answer just isn’t good enough. If inappropriate behavior is happening, people need to say or do something. Perpetrators may think their comments are innocent or no big deal. They may believe there is nothing wrong with making lewd comments. It’s time to educate people.
 
Some of my colleagues and friends have shared their personal experiences with sexual harassment by joining the #MeToo and #MeToo Men movements on Twitter and Facebook. The volumes of posted comments demonstrate that this remains a problem in our society, and it can no longer be tolerated. It’s not just women who are harassed; men are sexually harassed too. An excellent article from United Nations Women (UN Women) calls for men getting involved in speaking out in sexual crimes against women.
 
So the next time you pause, hesitate, or question if you should address the issue or have a confidential talk with another person, remind youreself that you have the power to shut down sexual harassment. Your stepping forward could save innocent people from becoming victims.

Natural Disasters Provide Lessons in Crisis Communication 101

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crisis1From crisis comes lessons learned…hopefully.

The recent devastation in Texas, Florida, and the U.S. territory of Puerto Rico caused by Hurricanes Harvey, Irma, and Maria, left thousands of homes and businesses destroyed, people displaced from their homes, in desperate need of basic essentials like shelter, food, and water, and sadly, lives were lost.

When you know a crisis situation is coming, you have some time to prepare a communication plan. Authorities had learned from Hurricane Katrina, Hurricane Sandy, and others in recent years. When you apply lessons learned, tweak and adapt along the way, then you have a solid communication strategy.

With each repeat event, more is learned about what needed to be communicated and when. What will you do when crisis strikes? Here are a few important reminders when communicating catastrophic events.

Send Clear Messages. Keep your message clear and simple, and repeat, repeat, repeat. The anticipated devastation and flooding levels in each of these hurricanes reached the public days in advance through meteorologists, the media, FEMA, government leaders, social media, and in-person efforts. The messaging for protection against the elements and evacuation when recommended needs to be clear.

Be Calm Yet Emphatic. When you are the lead spokesperson during a crisis, people look to you for a calming presence. You provide stability and hope. Authorities remained calm yet serious when communicating with residents who were in the path of the hurricane.

Use Multiple Channels. Don’t rely on one communication channel…use all of them. From the most sophisticated electronic communication to the old-fashioned person-to-person, look to all communication channels to assist you in getting your message to the public.

Prioritize Safety and Security. The Number One concern in times of disaster is the safety and security of residents. Agencies were prepared for tens of thousands of residents who were displaced in the hardest hit areas of Texas and Florida. Yet, communication took much longer to reach those in more remote areas of Puerto Rico.

Anticipate Resistance. During crisis situations, you must anticipate some resistance. It’s human nature for people to look at other options if they have them. In Texas and Florida, some residents chose to stay in their homes to wait out the storm. They discovered that was no longer an option and were eventually rescued and evacuated. On the island of Puerto Rico, there were no such options…only to wait out the storm in the safest place possible.

Bring Mobile Devices to the Rescue. The use of mobile phones and social media channels opened up communication more quickly as long as communication towers were in operation. People were able to send out an electronic SOS and also could locate people who needed rescuing more quickly. In times of great devastation, however, lack of electricity makes it improbable or impossible to communicate through any electronic channels. You must then revert to more traditional communication channels, like person-to-person.

Be Timely. Leading up to a disaster, every minute is precious because your message must reach the public post haste, whether it is to take cover or to evacuate. Following the aftermath of a disaster, the use of time shifts to the Number One priority: saving lives. In the case of Puerto Rico, there was not enough attention given to the distribution of life-saving food and water. Many lessons will be learned from that terrible devastation.

Have a Plan B, C, and D. In disasters of epic proportions, relief and rescue workers must make decisions quickly and shift to trying something different. If Plan A doesn’t work, go to Plan B; if that doesn’t work, go to Plan C, then D, and so on. In times of great emergency, you must think of absolutely every potential outcome and be prepared to act swiftly. The clock keeps ticking.

Possessions can be replaced; human lives cannot.

When you are faced with a crisis, draw upon past experiences and apply those teachings to the situation at hand. Hopefully the lessons learned from these recent natural disasters will help leaders better handle crisis communication in the future.

Celebrating International Day of Peace Raises Our Collective Conscience

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International_Peace_Day_logo

United Nations symbol for International Day of Peace

September 21 marks the International Day of Peace, a recognition that promotes  peace around the world in countries, cities, and communities. The 2017 theme  is Together for Peace: Respect, Safety and Dignity for All. An event map indicates where events are being held around the world, including meditation, music, marches, and other events.

Put into action in 1981 by a United Nations Resolution, and celebrated for the first time a year later, the International Day of Peace reminds us all to bring peace into our lives, whether here at home or abroad. The International Day of Peace uses education as a means to encourage peaceful co-existence and safe, open dialogue as a means of understanding.

Some of us are more removed from speaking out for peace because our lives seem rather “peaceful” as they are. Yet for millions of people of all cultures, genders, ages, and economic classes around the world, they have only known war; they have not experienced peace.

When we consider war, we may think that battles are only fought with destructive weapons and artillery force. Yet, some people experience a war of a different kind as they try to simply live their lives as best they can. A war of words can be a form of abuse. A war-torn body can show signs of a domestic dispute and physical abuse. Belittling another human being can leave scars of emotional abuse.

Within families, wars are fought too, with relatives often choosing sides, deciding whom they will defend. Within companies, wars among departments or staff can occur when judgment and ego get in the way of collaboration and cooperation.

How are you making peace within your world? Are you encouraging those around you to share their thoughts and opinions through open dialogue? Are you trying to look at challenges and disputes, then identifying potential solutions? To make the world a better place begins with one person: You.

The United Nations has created 17 Sustainable Development Goals to improve the lives of every person on the planet, which include:

1.   No poverty.

2.   Zero hunger.

3.   Good health and well-being.

4.   Quality education.

5.   Gender equality.

6.   Clean water and sanitation.

7.   Affordable and clean energy.

8.   Decent work and economic growth.

9.   Industry, innovation and infrastructure.

10. Reduced inequalities.

11. Sustainable cities and communities.

12. Responsible consumption and production.

13. Climate action.

14. Life below water.

15. Life on land.

16. Peace, justice and strong institutions.

17. Partnerships for the goals.

As you consider your contributions to your community and the world, what goals are you working on every day to create a better life for all? Peruse The Lazy Person’s Guide to Saving the World, compiled by the United Nations, and you will find many simple tasks that you can complete easily. Share it with co-workers. Create a conversation. Take action.

Nature Reminds Us To Be Fully Present

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eclipse-lunarOn Monday, August 21, 2017, millions of people travelled to the path of the total solar eclipse to view the entire cycle, and particularly that moment when the moon travels in front of the sun, leaving a spectacular ring. Millions more viewed the eclipse on television or a mobile device. The rest of us viewed a partial eclipse from our back yards or office parking lots. Even Alaska Airlines maneuvered a flight into the path of the total solar eclipse for invited astronomers and special guests.

The sheer beauty of nature is best revealed in these moments of awe-inspiring wonder. When you sit back, become fully aware, and let nature unfold, you realize that that moment will never again be repeated. Ever. Sure, there will be other sunrises, sunsets, eclipses, but not that same one. It’s a powerful thought.

When you are fully present in a moment, any moment, you derive the greatest pleasure from it, because your mind is nowhere else. It’s not cluttered with thoughts of your To Do List or what you could make for dinner. Your mind is completely focused on that moment.

The benefit of present moment awareness is that it allows you to take in what is happening in that moment. You can set aside other feelings or hidden agendas, anger or angst, and simply be.

We witnessed that on August 21, when we experienced the solar eclipse in person. It took our breath away. It left no room for anything else except our focus and attention. We were suspended in that moment of pure exhilaration.

We came from different cities, countries, socio-economic backgrounds, races, religions, genders, and education levels, and somehow it worked beautifully. We collectively shared that moment together.

Let’s take what we learned in that moment and apply it to our workplaces, our communities, and our country. Former U.S. Secretary of State Madeleine Albright tweeted “Enjoyed watching #Eclipse2017. A great reminder that all darkness is temporary.” Let’s listen and learn from each other. From awareness comes change, true change. It begins with open dialogue. Let the conversation begin.

Stop Apologizing!

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sad-dogI love language, especially listening to the words that people choose to speak. Lately, I have noticed something quite peculiar. Call it a trend, or a bad habit. I have become acutely aware of people who repeatedly apologize. The key word here is repeatedly.

Their comment automatically begins with “I’m sorry.”

What would you think of someone who you met for the first time who, within several minutes, apologized to you several times? The confident professional would not apologize. It’s the person with the lack of self-confidence who would.

Whether it’s you or a member of your team, listen to the language being used. Whenever there is repetitive language, listen more intently to the impression that is being made. Is it a positive or negative impression?

Here are a few examples of “I’m sorry” that I recently experienced:

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know if you preferred coffee or tea.” Revised: “Do you prefer coffee or tea?”

“I’m sorry, but could you end the program at 3:45 instead of 4:00?” Revised: “Could you please end the program at 3:45 instead of 4:00?”

“I’m sorry. Could you please wait until everyone arrives before you start your presentation?” Revised: “Could you please wait until everyone arrives before you start your presentation?

It’s a small change with great impact. By removing the habitual “I’m sorry” from your language, you position yourself with greater certainty and confidence.

Here are a few ways to help you stop over-apologizing:

Become more aware of your language. Do you say “I’m sorry” too often? If so, ask yourself why.

Pause. Take the time to choose your words more carefully. Instead of automatically saying “I’m sorry,” take a few seconds to compose your thoughts and begin the sentence with your core message.

Become more aware of the impact your language has on others. Have several people suggested that you stop apologizing, or asked you why you’re apologizing? That’s a signal that you are over-apologizing. Simply drop the phrase as your default.

Snap out of the deficit thinking. People who over-apologize may have issues with self-worth. Replace the deficit thinking with abundance and gratitude.

The flip side: Of course there will be times when you will need to use the phrase “I’m sorry.” Save it for those occasions when you really need to use it, and it means something important rather than just a sentence starter.