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Bring Thanksgiving Into the Workplace

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CardOnce a year, we Americans come together with our family or friends to give thanks. While the deeper meaning often gets trumped by delicious food and wine, Thanksgiving provides us with one day to relax and enjoy ourselves. What if the anticipation, laughter, enjoyment and camaraderie that we find with family or friends could be experienced at work? Imagine how different the workplace would be. It might look something like this…we would:

  • Look forward to going into work every day
  • Greet co-workers with joy
  • Enjoy stimulating conversations
  • Share stories and memories
  • Laugh until our sides hurt
  • When we felt tired or cranky, we would take a nap and wake up refreshed, ready for more food and conversation!

This is an extreme picture, yet there are threads in each of these behaviors that can be done on a daily basis. What if you arrived at work every day truly thankful for your job? What it has taught you? The income it provides to you? What it allows you to do in life?

My father spent his entire “career” – more than 40 years – working in a steel mill when steel was king in America. He started work at the age of 17, before the mills were organized through the United Steel Workers of America (USW). It was hard, physical work. Even when he experienced the occasional migraine headache, he never complained or missed work. He worked hard, saved his money, and was a good provider to our family of six.

Living through the Great Depression, he knew the value of having a job, being able to buy a home, a car, food for our family and even car vacations touring America. He took his thanks to the mill every working day, remaining positive until the day he retired.

On Thanksgiving Day, he would feast like a king. He looked forward to being with family, enjoying a full plate of food (and sometimes seconds), laughing, telling stories, and even taking a nap when needed.

As you enjoy Thanksgiving dinner and other activities, think of how you can bring that same contentment, happiness and thanks giving into your workplace. What a gift you would give to co-workers if you expressed your thanks on the job every day. Yes, it would be a very different world if we all did that.

What Do You Believe?

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beliefAs my husband and I sat, waiting for a free community concert to begin, the woman sitting in front of us asked her friend, “Where’s your mother?” The woman replied, “She didn’t want to come because this concert is being held in a Catholic church.” (Both women were Jewish).

The concerts for the community-based orchestra are indeed held in a variety of religious venues throughout the year. This concert just happened to be performed in a Catholic church.

How sad, I thought to myself, that in our modern society today people are still so “old school.” Then I realized this woman’s mother was from the Traditionalist generation and remained loyal to her strong religious beliefs. She did not feel comfortable in a church. While I respect her belief and choice, her belief was standing in the way of her enjoying a magnificent free concert with an internationally acclaimed young violinist. Did I mention the concert was free?

This week, Oprah Winfrey is hosting a series on Belief on OWN, the Oprah Winfrey Network. The series examines the broad topic of belief, including religious belief, and reminds us that we all carry with us different beliefs, and we have the right to do that. The series opens up your thinking about what people believe and what motivates or inspires them to believe.

I realized that my opinion about the Jewish mother not attending the concert was based on my own beliefs. In this case, I tapped into my belief that every person should have access to the arts. The mother definitely had access. I also believe that human beings have free will. Now we’re getting somewhere. The mother’s choice – based on her beliefs – made more sense to me. I was less judgmental of her decision.

It got me thinking: How often do our strong beliefs stand in the way of innovative thinking or creative expression? What do we lose in the process? How does our lifestyle support our beliefs? What do we gain?

The Pro’s Code: Use Good Judgment

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Part 7 in a series on professionalism.

Criteria 7: Good judgment: All issues are thought through carefully and clearly; implications are considered before any action is taken.

ChoiceWith experience comes wisdom. An important lesson you have learned as a professional is to think before you speak – or act. It’s a lesson that often requires repeating multiple times throughout a career. Some examples of not using good judgment could include:

You don’t care that your boss is in a bad mood today. You ask for a raise anyway. You don’t get the results you wanted. You learn the importance of timing.

You exaggerate what happened in a meeting with a co-worker. You find out later that the new employee sitting in on that meeting just so happens to be your co-worker’s sister-in-law. Who knew? Open mouth. Insert foot. You learn the importance of discretion.

It happens to everyone in their careers…not taking the time to use good judgment to get the desired results.

Here are some tips on using good judgment:

Think it through. Don’t just act on the first impulse that comes to mind. Carefully scrutinize the decision that you are about to make or the action that you are about to take. Weigh any options.

Ask questions. Take a moment to ask several questions. Who will this decision impact? Who could I potentially hurt? What are the ultimate consequences of my actions? Is what I have to gain worth what I may potentially lose?

Listen to your intuition. If your intuition (or gut) screams out, “Don’t do it!!” then listen. Your intuition is always right. Your intuition knows when something feels right or not.

Question your emotional intelligence. Daniel Goleman’s work on emotional intelligence looks at human behavior from four perspectives: Self-awareness, social awareness, self-management and relationship management.

Consider others, not just yourself. It’s easy to put a thought, opinion or idea out there. Are you thinking of others rather than just yourself?

Learn from your mistakes. If you realize that you used poor judgment, then learn from the experience. Admit your mistake, learn from it and move on.

Here are a few examples of both good and bad judgment from recent news stories:

ESPN recently awarded its Arthur Ashe Award for Courage to Caitlyn Jenner for having the courage to announce her recent transgender transition. (Good judgment).

Donald Trump is back in hot water after making yet another inappropriate comment that caught the media’s attention, this one claiming that Senator John McCain was not a war hero (McCain was a POW in the Vietnam War). (Bad judgment).

A police officer in Texas forcefully arrested Sandra Bland, a 28-year old African-American woman, for failing to use a turn signal when switching lanes. The officer did not follow proper protocol (bad judgment), took Bland into custody and placed her in jail; later jail authorities found her hanging in her cell. The family has called for an investigation. (Good judgment).

There are positive and negative examples of judgment in the media every day. When you scan these stories, ask yourself “What would I have done differently if it had been me?” You will learn a great deal about your own judgment and integrity. Take the time to make the best decisions you can. In doing so, use good judgment every time, consider the consequences, and you will continue advancing your career.

Time Can Be On Your Side

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CompassWhen you hear the words spend and invest, you may automatically think of money. What if you applied those words to time? You would look at time in a very different way.

Spend represents depletion, exhaustion, using up something. It can have a negative connotation. “I spent two full days preparing this report.” It’s time that you will never again have. The blessing – and the curse – of time is that those moments never again return.

Invest reflects a forward intention, movement, planning, strategic thinking. “I invested my time in a spiritual retreat over the weekend.” Investing one’s time symbolizes some benefit, a return on that investment in the future.

Do you have a negative relationship with time (dislike)? or Do you have a positive relationship with time (love)? Is time your enemy or your friend?

If you have a dislike relationship with time, most often you feel like you are continually running out of time, trying to do too much with too little time, finding yourself angry at the time gods each night when you go to sleep (if you’re even getting much sleep).

If you have a love affair with time, you most likely feel complete and fulfilled each day rather than depleted. You know how to pace the work you do and balance it with leisure activities that reconnect you with yourself and loved ones.

Reality check: Most people feel like they don’t have enough hours in the day. You are not alone!

What is your attitude towards time? Do you love it or dislike it? Does it work to your advantage or disadvantage?

If time is currently your enemy (you feel like you never have enough time), then how can you shift your thinking and actions so that you feel like you have enough time each day?

Here are a few suggestions:

Ask. If time is your enemy, ask why.

Assess. Take stock of the things you need to get done in a certain period of time. Are there times of the week, month or year when you feel more of a time crunch (like weekly reporting, monthly sales numbers or at annual tax time)? Are there times of the week, month or year when you feel like you have all the time in the world (annual meeting is over, the sales cycle has ended, new hires are all in place)?

Prioritize. Decide – and do – the most important work first. If you have a performance review scheduled with your boss tomorrow and a monthly report due in three days, which do you prepare for first? The boss, of course.

Delegate. Ask (or hire) someone to help you with small or large tasks, short-term or long-term projects. You may have added some personal burdens that people may not know about, like caring for an aging parent. I don’t know what it is about human nature…we are all so afraid to ask for help. Does it come from that little kid inside of us who – at an early age – wanted to demonstrate how grown up we were by announcing, “I can do it myself!” It is a sign of strength, not weakness, when you know your limitations and ask for help.

Chunk it. Large projects and tasks can be overwhelming. Break down any large assignment into smaller pieces. It’s easier to work on a small part of something big rather than to tackle it all at once.

Do it now. By the time you finish thinking about doing something, you could have gotten it done. The minute you hear yourself saying, “I’ll do that tomorrow,” stop, and ask yourself how long it would take to do it today. Chances are, if you do it today, you’ll sleep better.

Enjoy it. Bertrand Russell said it best: “The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” Learn to fill minutes – even hours and days – with time that allows you to enjoy the present moment, whatever it is.

Shifting from disliking time to loving time requires a small investment of your time and attention.

 

You Are What You Meet

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Aurelien Rigart

Aurelien Rigart, Saint Flo

As a professional, you attend many public events, community functions and business trade shows. How do you show up to those events? Are you investing the time to make a favorable first impression with other professionals or are you there just for the freebies? Whatever you choose, it shows.

Last week I attended a popular annual business expo in my area. Being fully present in every encounter, I was more mindful of my actions. I enjoyed meeting  business owners and company representatives. I exchanged several business cards, registered for a few giveaways, received a few free items and enjoyed a few snacks along the way. The key word here is few. I also reconnected with some colleagues I hadn’t seen in a while. Throughout it all, I shared meaningful conversations. When I reflected on my time at the business expo, I realized that I had truly enjoyed myself because I brought purpose and mindfulness to each encounter. I wasn’t just exchanging small talk and business cards with vendors just to load my free bag with free stuff. I was selective about who I spent time with. As a result, I can remember every face, every name and every conversation.

If you attend public functions just to load up on free goodies, you’re missing one crucial point: People are observing your behavior and watching you as you approach them. They are examining your body language and listening to your words. They are gauging your level of interest in them, their product or service. They know that there are many prospects and new contacts that they can begin building relationships with in that first minute of the conversation. All they want is an opportunity to make a connection with you.

How do you “show up” at public events? Are you engaging, dignified and professional while talking with people or specific vendors who you want to meet? OR Do you walk around the event with a bulging bag of free stuff and spaghetti sauce on your chin? What first impression are you making? Choose wisely.

To Have or To Not Have: A Coffee Chat

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coffee-cup-funny-faceSmallIf there is one thing I have learned about the business world today it’s this: People are busy! Their calendars are jammed with meetings, either virtual or in-person. They are being asked to produce more with fewer resources. The bar for performance has been raised into the stratosphere, often accompanied by unrealistic expectations. It begs the question, “How do you use your time each day?”

Time is a precious commodity because there is a finite amount of it available to you. Every person is given 24 hours in one day, 60 minutes in each hour and 60 seconds in each minute. No more. No less. You choose what to do within that given time period every day. Some people handle their time more efficiently than others.

A great time vampire, if you let it be, is the coffee chat. It sounds like a simple request: “Let’s have coffee and chat.” If you are not careful and you don’t qualify the request, that time can quickly turn into this: “Let’s have coffee and chat and spend the entire time talking about me and what I need from you so that I can be more successful in my life.”

Don’t get me wrong. Having coffee with colleagues and chatting about something that is mutually meaningful is time well spent. When someone who you haven’t heard from in 5-10 years wants you to drop everything and have coffee and chat about what he wants to do with his life, then take the time and ask yourself “Is it worthy of me investing my time?”

This is not cold hearted. You are just trying to free up your schedule to do more of the things that you need to do rather than saying “Yes” to every request that comes your way. Here is a foolproof solution to these phantom requests: Have a conversation by phone rather than in person. Not having to drive to a location saves you about an hour round trip. Telephone conversations typically are much shorter than in-person conversations. What could consume two to three hours of your time is neatly reduced to 20-30 minutes. You get what you need, and so does the other person.

The next time someone requests coffee and a chat in person, think about the value of your time. Is it worth two to three hours or 20-30 minutes? The choice is yours.

Oscar Gets a Voice

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For one day each year the world watches the Academy Awards televised broadcast (and streaming video) with great anticipation. Who will stroll down the red carpet? What divine designs will women wear? What will the Oscar winners say during their acceptance speeches?

This year I was pleasantly surprised that several celebrities colored outside the lines a bit and delivered thoughtful, heartfelt acceptance speeches. In years past, I often marveled at the speech-less-ness of award recipients who inserted awkward uh’s, um’s, you know’s, and oh’s as they stumbled through the most important speech they would ever make. Not this year. Instead of the ordinary, “I would like to thank my agent, and I would like to thank my director, and I would like to thank my fellow cast members…”, the messages were clear and thought provoking. Here are my top picks, in no particular order:

Patricia Arquette (Best Supporting Actress, Boyhood): Arquette used her limited time on the platform to espouse equal pay. Even Meryl Streep shouted a resounding “Yes!!” from her front-row seat.

Common and John Legend (Best Song, Glory, Selma): Co-writers and performers Common and Legend reminded us that 50 years after the historic walk in Selma, our country and the world still struggles with racial injustice and inequality. Their words encouraged us to reflect on what we can do as individuals to continue the fight.

Julianne Moore (Best Actress, Still Alice): My mother-in-law, who passed away in 2013, had Alzheimer’s, so I was pleased to hear Julianne Moore use some of her acceptance speech to educate the audience about the disease.

J.K. Simmons (Best Supporting Actor, Whiplash): Simmons urged viewers around the world to call their mom or dad if they are fortunate enough to still have them on this Earth. I love calling my 94-year-old mom. My dad? I talk to him too and have been reunited with him several times in my dreams.

Graham Moore (Best Screenplay Adaptation, The Imitation Game): Moore spoke openly about his attempt at age 16 to commit suicide. That took courage. He encouraged the audience to celebrate what makes anyone unique and to be more open minded in trying to understand others who are different.

AskHerMoreInstagramSmallReese Witherspoon: Although her work in Wild did not earn her an Oscar, her voice was heard more from the red carpet and social media than from the stage. Witherspoon posted an Instagram supporting #AskHerMore, part of The Representation Project started last year by Amy Poehler’s Smart Girls. The Instagram encouraged red carpet interviewers to ask deeper questions than just “Who are you wearing?”

Watching the Academy Awards got me thinking: If you were standing on a platform that could reach millions of people around the world, what powerful message – of hope or change – would you choose to share with your audience?

Invite an Outsider In

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openhand“Get outside your comfort zone.” “Push the envelope.” “Be more.”

You have been in conversations or meetings where statements like these were made, reminding you to shake off any complacency. When you apply these commands to your interaction with people, your mindset (hopefully) shifts.

In her book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, author Susan Cain reminds us that not every person is socially outgoing. She points out that introverts, while quiet and contemplative, have a lot to contribute. They just may need to be invited into the conversation.

Introverts can often feel like outsiders, especially in a room full of extraverts. Whether you are an introvert or an extravert, take a moment to observe the behavior of your co-workers and clients. Does that person need encouragement or a nudge to share their thoughts and opinions? It could be you who invites that outsider into the conversation. The result could be uncovering some brilliant ideas. It begins with some simple questions:

What are your thoughts about…?

I would like to hear your opinions about…?

Your comments are valuable to me. What information can you share about…?

Initiate a conversation with the other person. If you would like to hear more about a certain topic, simply say, “Tell me more about that” or “Could you explain that to me a little further?”

As you scan the room at an event or a meeting, look for the person who sits on the sidelines, against a wall rather than at the table. Extend an invitation to sit at the table. Open up the space for that person to share her/his voice. Sometimes you need to gently pull someone along with you.

If you are that introvert, challenge yourself to make small changes in your interactions with other people. Those small changes over time will give you the confidence to be more open with your ideas, thoughts and opinions. An example: If you have an idea that is worth sharing, write it on your To Do List to bring it up at the next meeting. Once you get into the habit, you will feel more comfortable with other people and yes, even the extraverts.

OH-IO: A Lesson in Responsibility

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Cardale Jones Photo: Getty Images

The story – and media clips – of the College Football Playoff National Championship game between The Ohio State University Buckeyes and the University of Oregon Ducks will go down in history as teaching top lessons about the power of positive thinking, team building, leadership and responsibility. It’s this last topic, responsibility, that deserves attention.

If you were in the shoes of Cardale Jones, the Buckeyes’ third string quarterback, would you be able to rise to the occasion as he did? How often in your career have you been asked to fill in for someone else who was originally assigned to lead a project team, deliver a conference presentation or meet with a big client? Each time you were chosen as a substitute, you faced a challenge: Do I shirk responsibility (“I can’t do this…I’m not qualified”) or claim responsibility (“I can – and will – deliver”)? Cardale Jones claimed responsibility and with that came victory.

Third string means there were two other quarterbacks ahead of Jones in the line-up. When the lead quarterback was injured, that moved Jones into second position. When that lead quarterback was injured, that moved Jones into the lead QB position. In this lead role for just a few weeks, Cardale Jones led the Buckeyes’ victory over the University of Alabama Crimson Tide in the Sugar Bowl. Two weeks later, Jones again led the Buckeyes into victory over the Ducks with a 42-20 win, clenching the national championship title.

WOW. Congratulations to QB Cardale Jones, running back Ezekiel Elliott, coach Urban Meyer and the entire Buckeyes franchise for winning the national championship. If the media buzz is any indication, this success story will be told and retold for many years to come in schools, community centers and meeting rooms to inspire and motivate people to do their best.

The take away from this historical event: Anything is possible when you align leadership, team and talent with dedication, drive and responsibility. May we all be more responsible in our lives and in the work we do.

The Value of Volunteering

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helping-hand-435x290Many companies today have created a culture of caring through community volunteerism. Whether raising funds for important research to cure a disease, teaching children how to read or building a home for a family in need, your involvement enhances the company’s visibility as a community leader. Your volunteer efforts  benefit you in two ways: You gain valuable experience in leadership, communication and stewardship and your hard work positions you well within the company as a team player and engaged employee.

In my case, everything I learned about leadership I learned through volunteer activities. I learned how to:

  • Understand group dynamics by working on committees
  • Supervise others
  • Delegate work
  • Work well with people from diverse backgrounds
  • Advance in the organization and accept responsibilities along the way
  • Negotiate
  • Think critically and creativity
  • Reach the top of the organization (as board president)
  • Inspire and motivate others
  • Share a vision with others
  • Develop a strategic plan for the future
  • Take responsibility for my work
  • Read and understand financial information
  • Plan and execute large projects

I learned all of these skills as a volunteer. Now, you may ask, “Didn’t you learn anything on the job?” Yes, of course, I did. Yet when it came to leadership skills, I learned them more rapidly through my volunteer commitments. An organization that relies on its volunteers isn’t going to fire its volunteers, so there is nothing stopping you from being your best and brightest. As a volunteer, the sky is the limit!

My experience of managing events as a volunteer committee chairperson came in handy when I had to manage large-scale events in my career. As a volunteer, you can learn and make mistakes. When it comes time for you to use those skills in your job, you will sail through any assignment. Because I experienced being a leader first as a volunteer, it was more valuable to me than reading leadership books. When working with volunteers, understand that they are already self-motivated when they volunteer (they know they are not getting paid for their time or ideas). To keep them motivated, make sure that their talents and skills are being used, not under-used, and recognized. Place them in positions where they can thrive.

What do you want to learn? What cause can you get involved in? The choice is yours. You can use your talents and skills to be in service to a community that needs you.

What volunteer opportunities in the community are being offered by your company that would give you greater responsibility and teach you new skills?

What other volunteer assignments could you introduce your company to, which would elevate your company’s visibility in the community?