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Oh, The Places You’ll Go!

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In the classic children’s book, Oh, The Places You’ll Go!, author Dr. Seuss (Theodor Seuss Geisel) begins with:

Congratulations!

Today is your day.

You’re off to Great Places!

You’re off and away!

How wonderful that children are given a glimpse of possibility at such a young age. Let me remind you that at any age you can still dream and imagine the possibilities that lie ahead of you in your life.

When I received my Master of Arts degree in Interpersonal Communication in 1997, the commencement speaker used the theme, Oh, The Places You’ll Go! A smart move because most of the graduates in the auditorium that day grew up reading Dr. Seuss books. Many could recite chapter and verse.

You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself

any direction you choose.

As you embark on a new year’s journey, consider the places you want to go that haven’t quite made it to your priority list. They may reside in the recesses of your brain. You may think about doing them more than actually doing them. What would it take for you to focus on what you want in your life? I use a simple A-B-C method, as outlined in my book, Everything I Do Positions Me: The Simple Path to Professional Success. The key word here is simple. Here it is:

A: Where are you currently positioned? (your current status, current behavior)

C: Fast forward to Where do you want to be positioned? What is your ultimate goal? Your desired future?

B: What sandwiches the gap between A (here and now) and C (the future) is B. What action steps will get you to C?

Example:

A: Poor presentation skills. (current)

C: Polished presenter. (future)

B: Action steps:

  1. Attend a presentations workshop.
  2. Join a Toastmasters group.
  3. Ask my boss to give me more presentation assignments.
  4. Practice in front of the mirror two hours weekly.
  5. Submit a proposal to present at a national professional association conference.

You get the picture. You can go anywhere you want in your career and life. Focus on the things you want most. Create the action steps to get you there. Enjoy the results. It’s that simple.

You’ll be on your way up!

You’ll be seeing great sights!

You’ll join the high fliers

who soar to high heights.

Visit Seussville or Amazon to order your own copy of Oh, The Places You’ll Go! to keep you motivated! Watch a short YouTube video of the book, read by actor John Lithgow.

Title and quotes are copyrighted material, Dr. Seuss Enterprises.

Because I’m Happy

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BalloonsIt seems fitting to close out 2014 with recognition of Pharrell Williams’ “Happy,” the most played song on the radio in 2014. It also claimed the top spot on Billboard Magazine’s Hot 100 songs. You can only feel one thing when you listen to this catchy tune: Happy. How refreshing…Happiness and hope are remembered, not forgotten.

Amidst a chaotic world and turbulent times, it makes me happy to know that there are other people who crave – and encourage – happiness in their lives.

The volumes of research on the topic of happiness include Dr. Michael Fordyce’s happiness increase studies in the 1970s and the creation of the Fordyce Happiness Scale. Dr. Ed Diener of the University of Illinois is one of the most well respected (and cited) psychologists on the topic of subjective well-being. New York Times best selling author Gretchen Rubin has penned several contemporary books on the topic, including The Happiness Project. Today’s research has become more sophisticated. You can even participate in the Track Your Happiness research project that tracks your attitude towards life through your iPhone.

Think of the top ten things that make you happy. How much time do you invest in doing those things that make you happy? It’s time to create your list. It could include simple things. A hug. A conversation. Quiet time. Here’s a peek at my top ten list of the things that make me happy:

  1. My husband, Mark, gives me the freedom to be myself, and that makes me happy.
  2. Cherished conversations with my 94-year old Mom ground me.
  3. A solo walk in the park reminds me that I am part of a larger world.
  4. Quality time with people who I truly care about and who accept me for who I am is time well spent.
  5. Our two rescue cats bring me tremendous joy.
  6. Eating warm, fresh-baked bread (is there anything better?) helps me to stop and savor the flavor.
  7. Challenging, meaningful work keeps me engaged and interested.
  8. Contributing to charitable organizations allows me to help others.
  9. Gardening lets me create a beautiful environment and provides me with much-needed quite time.
  10. Singing out loud to a favorite song when no one else is around, well, that is so freeing.

As 2014 ends and 2015 begins, let me ask you this: What if you could share your happiness with others? What if you could share your support, care, even wealth, with people? You can. Something as simple as a kind word can bring a smile to someone’s face. And seeing that smile will make you feel happy. Speaking of happy…Happy New Year!

The Return of Excited Anticipation

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ChristyWithSanta1957:8 copyIt’s Christmas morning. My older sister Marianne stands at the foot of my bed and whispers with great excitement, “Christy, it’s Christmas morning!”I reluctantly open one eye and stir a bit. The impact of her message fails to reach me. She moves closer. “C’mon, Christy. Get up! It’s Christmas morning!” Her words finally sink into my brain. Now both eyes are open and my feet hit the ground.

In the earlier days of my childhood, my parents made a brilliant move. They put up the Christmas tree in our basement. In our two-story home, having to travel two sets of stairs to reach our presents increased the anticipation.

Marianne runs ahead of me down the first set of stairs. We are excited to reach the living room floor. The anticipation builds. We dash through the living room, dining room and kitchen. We reach for the light switch to the basement. Now we have another set of stairs to descend and turn left to reach the tree. Before us stands the small tree, adorned with blown glass ornaments in all colors. Gracing the tree top is a molded plastic angel. Our eyes immediately go to the gifts under the tree. We crouch down and begin to find our gifts. We’re very talented at shaking them and guessing what’s inside. A doll? A game? A new outfit? To the left of the tree is an artificial fireplace constructed of red and white “brick” corrugated cardboard and a hearth that my Dad will plug in so the embers glow. I think it’s the coolest thing.

My parents have one rule for Christmas morning: We are not permitted to open our gifts until they come downstairs. My other two older sisters will come with them then. That’s when our neatly decorated basement turns into a chaotic scene, with gift wrap everywhere. We each receive a few gifts. At least one of them is something from my Christmas list. All is right with the world.

What would it take to have that same excited anticipation that we had as children? That sense of wonder and contentment? It is within our reach every day. Go out and seek it!

Happy Holiday, Mr. Berlin

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BerlinPortrait1When I was growing up in the BPC era (Before Politically Correct), my young vocabulary knew nothing of Chanukkah or Kwanzaa. I only knew Christmas. Occasionally my parents would receive a card with the sentiment, “Season’s Greetings” or “Happy Holidays.” Most often, the card read, “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.”

Today, we celebrate many religious and cultural holidays this time of year. Some people think that the phrase “Happy Holidays” was created in recent years so that people could be more politically correct in their greetings (thinking that it covered all holidays).

It was a song, entitled Happy Holiday (no “s”) composed by Irving Berlin, one of America’s greatest song writers, and introduced in 1942 that popularized this greeting among Americans. At that time, America and many of its allies were engaged in World War II. This song helped to lighten the holidays with its upbeat tempo. Berlin’s most beloved holiday song, White Christmas, was also featured in the movie, Holiday Inn, that same year. A much more somber, reflective piece, the song was written for soldiers who were far away from home during the holidays.

No matter how you choose to extend your greetings to others this season, allow them to come from your heart. To all families – including our soldiers’ – who are away from their loved ones this season, I wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukkah and Joyous Kwanzaa from my home to yours.

A Holiday Guide for Introverts and Extraverts

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During the holiday season, you are busy, busy, busy…attending or hosting holiday parties, meeting year-end quotas, buying gifts, volunteering, baking, cooking, and running lots of errands. Depending on your personal style, you are either energized or drained by all of the activity. Here is a simple guide to the holidays for introverts and extraverts.

Extraverts love being with people because they get their energy from others. For extraverts, the more people they meet or visit with, the happier they are. If they go too long without human contact, they feel like they are missing something. During the holidays, extraverts are in their glory, however, they have to be careful not to run out of steam.

Tips for Extraverts:

Get plenty of quality sleep between parties and get-togethers because you can get rundown.

Remember to chew your food and swallow it. You are so energized by others, you may try to talk and eat at the same time. Result: Indigestion. Don’t gulp. Sip. Don’t inhale food. Chew.

Come up for air. Your body needs oxygen to replenish and refresh. Take a moment to simply take a few deep breaths between mixing and mingling.

Introverts, on the other hand, can easily get “peopled out” this time of year. Introverts recharge by finding quality alone time. They would rather sit quietly at home sipping a glass of wine in private than being bombarded by too many outgoing people at parties and events. It requires a lot of energy and mental preparation for introverts to attend party after party.

Tips for Introverts:

Set a time limit. It may be easier for you to attend multiple parties and events if you give yourself a set time. Know how much you can take. Decide to stay for one hour or two. When you’re ready, leave.

Try a new zone. Every event has four distinct meeting zones: Receiving/reception zone, food zone, bar zone and sitting/standing zone. For in-home parties, there’s a fifth zone, and that’s the kitchen (food preparation zone). Instead of heading for that chair, try spending a little time in a different zone. See how it feels. Then try another zone. Movement gives you more freedom and control.

Scan the crowd for other introverts. If being with too many extraverts at the same time overwhelms you, find your tribe by looking for other introverts. They’re easy to spot. They are usually sitting by themselves or are doing less of the talking (because they can’t get in a word with extraverts).

How to handle the “Clash of the Titans.” When introverts and extraverts live together and go to parties and events together, they may experience a battle of the wills. The extravert wants to attend every party and stay all night, and the introvert doesn’t. Find a happy compromise by setting some ground rules before you leave for the event.

How many parties will you attend? (All, some, a few?)

How long will you stay? (A half hour? Hour? The entire evening?)

Will you stay together or separate at the event?

Should you drive to the event together or separately?

When you have a clearer understanding of what your personal style is – extravert or introvert – and respect and honor the person whose style is different from yours, you will get much more out of the holidays. You will have a great time because you are  prepared!

 

The Age of the Sage

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1MomSmallThis week, my Mom turned 94. You heard me right…94! So far, she has outlived her husband by six years. She has outlived her mother by nine years. She has outlived every friend that she had from her younger days. And yet, she is as young at heart, interested and curious about the world as people half her age.

During the holidays at this time of year, people often ask “What are you thankful for?” For me, I am thankful for fully enjoying my mother in her twilight years. When I was younger, I didn’t give age much thought. My parents were simply my parents, always there for me, helping me when I needed help and supporting whatever I wanted to do with my life.Now, it’s time for me to be there for my Mom, to help and support her in the many things that she still wants to do at her age.

As an artist, my Mom is still painting and entering her paintings in local art exhibitions. As a cook and baker, she is still cooking and baking for herself and (thank goodness) for others who marvel at the fact that her culinary skills are in tact. As an avid reader, she reads every day – library books, magazines and of course her daily mail. As a faithful person, she says her prayers and rosary each morning, attends church every week and supports every special fund there is. As a natural caregiver, she thoughtfully provides and delivers meals to friends and family who are  recovering from surgery or experiencing the loss of a loved one. As the family matriarch, she knows everyone’s birthday or anniversary, and has a card ready to go in the mail when those important days come. When she hears of the upcoming arrival of a baby, she immediately gets busy knitting or crocheting a baby blanket.

My Mom is part of the “greatest” generation who grew up with traditional values of family, faith, honesty, loyalty and hard work. Each day, we lose thousands of this generation, and with them we lose their stories, their traditions and their caring nature. That’s why I am enjoying every minute with my Mom.

What sages are in your life that you can take the time to get to know better, to serve, or help? A parent? A grandparent? An aunt or uncle? A neighbor? A former teacher? Their history and experiences could enrich your life. Start the conversation today.

Open an Account at the Knowledge Bank, Part 3

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japanese-garden-wallpaper-japanese-garden-wallpaper-bedroom-ideas-garden-garden-wall-garden.com-japan-japanese-japanese-garden-japanese-garden-wallpaper-japanese-garden-wallpaper-hdTen thousand hours. That’s how much time you must invest before you can master a new skill, as some experts claim. To build your Knowledge Bank, you must master the third part of the trilogy, application, which follows discipline and assimilation.

When you apply what you have learned, you practice or “try on” your new knowledge before you master it. How does it fit into your work and your life? For example, if you have learned a new method to better facilitate meetings, then begin using it in your next meeting. Adjust it where needed. As you use this new knowledge, ask questions like, “How else could I use this knowledge?” or “Is there some other way I can apply it?”

Author Napoleon Hill wrote the classic book, Think and Grow Rich in 1937, outlining 13 principles for leading a successful life. The fourth in the list is specialized knowledge. When I first read this book in the 1980s as a young professional, I was impressed with how simple Hill’s writing was. I remember him speaking of the importance of applying what you learn. With application comes knowledge. All these years later, Hill’s advice is still fresh and meaningful to me.

Consider the beauty and tranquility of a Japanese garden. The gardener must learn various techniques for carefully pruning shrubs and trees, meticulously sweeping leaves, and raking gravel to create traditional patterns. It takes months and years of practice to become master gardener of a Japanese garden.

What is different about the Knowledge Bank that I have covered in these past three posts is that it belongs to you, and you can build your bank so that it provides riches to you and to others. When you invest your knowledge in others, it pays dividends in their lives and in yours. You will feel good knowing that you played an important role in helping others learn and grow.

How much do you have invested in your Knowledge Bank?

How are you sharing your knowledge wealth with others?

Open an Account at the Knowledge Bank, Part 2

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Image by Anna Langova

How often have you attended a presentation at a conference or professional association event, taken a mountain of notes, come home and filed them away for “further reading.” And…you guessed it…”further” never happens.

Once you have disciplined yourself to learn (last week’s blog post), you are ready to assimilate, that is, absorb the information. As you absorb it, don’t just read the words; let them seep into your memory so that as you study it, you begin to understand it and how it works. Ultimately, you will be able to easily recall the new information from memory when you pick it apart and add meaning to it. Without meaning, all you have are just words on a page.

How can you assimilate when you are already in “information overload”? Who has the time to assimilate anyway? Here are three tools to help you:

Mind Mapping. One of my favorite tools for capturing information, taking notes and outlining a presentation is mind mapping, created by Tony Buzan. Mind mapping is a colorful way to capture information in a nonlinear, creative way rather than traditional linear note taking. It’s great if you are a visual learner. Even if you are left brained and more analytical, you can still benefit from mind mapping. Engineers in my training programs who claimed they could never use it discovered that they enjoyed it more than they initially thought.

Speed Reading. It took a school teacher, Evelyn Wood, in the late 1950s to discover speed reading. She noticed that by using the sweeping motion of her hand across a page, it acted as a visual guide as she read. She went on to establish the most recognizable speed reading course in the world. To get your eyes ready to speed read, check out this helpful eye exercise for speed reading created by Nevit Dilmen.

Memory Improvement. Mnemonic devices and images are just two examples of tools that help you remember information. As a child, you learned the alphabet using a song. To remember the length of months, it was a poem that anchored that information in my memory bank…

“Thirty days hath September…

April, June and November.

All the rest have thirty-one,

Except in Leap Year, that’s the time,

When February’s days are twenty-nine.”

A favorite site is Mind Tools. The best part: Be sure to sign up for their free weekly e-newsletter; you may get a free goodie.

As you can see, it takes a lot to not only keep up with information that’s coming at you; it requires discipline and assimilation to absorb it and remember it.

What can you do to better assimilate important information that you need to retain?

Open an Account at the Knowledge Bank

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2Imagine what life would be like if you had your own private Knowledge Bank. Each time you wanted to fill your head with information, you would go to the Knowledge Bank for a withdrawal. What would happen if one day the bank teller said to you, “I’m sorry. Your Knowledge account is overdrawn. We can’t give you anymore knowledge.” That would be devastating. Fortunately, there are no limits to acquiring knowledge. Discipline, assimilation and application are the keys to making your brain work more efficiently.

Let’s look at Discipline. If you want to learn more, you have to get into the habit of making room in your life to make that learning happen. If you say, “I need to read more industry publications to keep up on what’s happening in my field” and you never read the journals — they just pile up in your office — then it is time to change that message to your brain from intent to action. Instead of saying, “I need to read…” say, “I am reading now…” Make it active in the present tense. You can say “I need to” for years without taking any action.

When you set aside time every day to do the learning, it will happen. Before you know it, it will become a habit that you won’t think about. You will simply do it.

I recently stumbled upon the Good Life Project’s excellent interview with Josh Kaufman, author of The First 20 Hours: How to Learn Anything…Fast. His simple five-step process will open up your eyes to how simple it is to adopt discipline into your life to learn anything. It requires focus and practice to get to mastery. His process includes daily practice. That’s right. Daily practice. When you set aside time every day to learn and do the things you really want to, you begin to know and master them in a shorter period of time.

What is it that you have been postponing that could use the focus of discipline?

How can you make time every day to learn the things you really want to learn?

Next week we’ll explore assimilation.

Please, Thank You and You’re Welcome

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thankyou1-424-x-283Three simple polite expressions are missing from our culture these days: Saying “Please,” “Thank You” and “You’re Welcome.” Yet, these statements are so simple to say. They don’t require any extra energy…just some thought. For me, being polite became rote from the time I was a child. My parents taught me well.

There is a distinct difference between “Pass the peas” and “Please pass the peas.” Adding “please” adapts a command to a request and extends a common courtesy to the other person.

I recently facilitated a training program for a client. As I was distributing a handout for a special assignment, a participant said, “Thank you.” I stopped and said, “Thank you for saying thank you.” She replied, “You’re welcome.” She was taught well.

While visiting a longtime friend, her ten-year-old daughter said, “Thank you.” A few minutes later when I thanked her, she said “You’re welcome.” Her mother taught her well.

There was a time when exchanged pleasantries like these were common place. They were part of our cultural norm. We gave them no thought because everyone had been taught Manners 101. I long for those days when people extended simple courtesies to one another.

While attending a meeting recently, I ran into a man who I hadn’t seen for more than 20 years. He said he would like to get together some time to talk about getting into the kind of business I am in. Then he said, “Do you have a minute to sit and talk now?” We sat down. One hour later, after presenting a great deal of useful information to him, I wrapped up our conversation. He said he appreciated my time and gleaned many good ideas from our time together. A few days passed. A week, two weeks passed. Nothing happened. He never sent a simple thank you email. He sent me no handwritten thank you note. He never extended a small gesture of any kind. What is an hour of someone else’s time worth when you are on the receiving end of valuable information that will shorten your learning curve? To me, it’s worth – at minimum – a follow-up thank you of some kind.

How often do you add “Please,” “Thank You” and “You’re Welcome” to your everyday conversations? When someone goes above and beyond and delivers real value to you, what could you do to show your appreciation? Consider doing something more. At minimum, a simple thank you email or note positions you well. Giving a $10 Starbucks card to someone who has helped you somehow goes a long way in positioning you as a thoughtful, grateful person who valued that time spent together.