Tag Archives: positioning

Are You Managing Impressions?

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MasksScottChanFreeDigitalPhotosnetHow are you presenting yourself to others? What impression are you making? Sociologist Erving Goffman developed the social role theory, which states that we manage other people’s impressions of us by how we present ourselves to them. In his 1959 groundbreaking book, The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life, Goffman says that as we manage other people’s impressions of us (he coined the phrase impression management), we assume and play many roles, much like actors on stage.

Impression management is defined as “a person altering or changing his/her self-presentation to create appearances to satisfy particular audiences.” Goffman says that people are the actors “performing” on a stage, using a variety of props if they choose to use them, and that they can perform for an audience or just for themselves. The essence of impression management theory is that we all play various roles in our lives. We often play several different roles throughout each day.

Roles have certain clothing and accessories that accompany them. Think of the costumes actors wear as they perform. Some roles are more closely aligned to who we are underneath it all, and other roles are a far stretch from who we truly are. It’s why we often buy a new suit to wear to an important client presentation; we want to embrace the role of a successful business executive. Goffman also says that impression management can either “hide negative attributes or enhance a person’s status” or “increase or decrease a person’s position of status.” For instance, your role as spouse is very different from your role as supervisor at work. You may manage impressions less at home than at work because you have the freedom to be your true self at home. The roles that we play require us to wear masks. Behind the mask is our real identity. With roles come expectations. As a supervisor, for example, there are certain expectations that come with that role. For instance, it is expected that the supervisor will oversee the work of direct reports, will keep in constant contact with them to measure their progress, and will offer guidance when needed.

It is important for us to understand impression management because we assume so many different roles — business professional, volunteer, community leader, friend, spouse, committee member or neighbor — and so do the people around us. Some many people manage their impressions so tightly that they become something other than who they truly are inside. When managing impressions, remember to be your authentic self. How are you presenting yourself? How are you managing impressions?

Image courtesy of Scott Chan, FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Observe and Learn

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msnbc_cnn_logoNationally televised news media provides the ultimate positioning platform for any professional. When you accept an interview with CNN, MSNBC or NBC, you need to be fully prepared. When you are not, it can position you in a negative light. Think Sarah Palin. When she came onto the national media scene, her folksy Alaskan style was considered “refreshing” to some viewers, yet to others, it revealed a woman who was not yet ready for prime time. Her credibility was compromised. For late night television hosts, Palin’s antics provided an unending supply of material for parodies and comedy sketches.

On Monday night, Anderson Cooper, host of CNN’s AC 360, interviewed Hoboken Mayor Dawn Zimmer about her accusation that New Jersey Governor Chris Christie’s office used disaster relief funds to influence political favor. It was obvious that Zimmer is more experienced talking with local media from Hoboken than she is sitting front and center on the national media stage. She provided a teaching moment for anyone who aspires to be on national television. Observe and learn from situations like this. Here are a few teaching moments:

1. Know your key messages. Every media interview offers an opportunity to share your key messages. What are they? Are you clearly stating those messages to the audience?

2. Control your hands. It’s appropriate to support key messages with hand gestures. However, when your hands are flailing about, almost uncontrollably and repeatedly as you answer questions, you look like you’re unprepared and making it up on the fly.

3. Compose your thoughts before you speak. Zimmer started to say that she didn’t know who the head of the Dem…then stopped herself. We know she’s a Democrat. We know what she was about to say. We, the viewers, could finish that sentence. Oh my. By volunteering that partial information, she was dismantling her credibility as a Democratic leader.

4. Think before you speak. This is different from Number 3 above because it goes back to the source, the very beginning, the choice that Zimmer made before she stated her case and went public. This is ultimate power positioning at play. In the beginning, before anything is said publicly, ask several important questions: “What am I going to say?” “Why am I saying it?” “What are the consequences of saying this?” “Am I fully prepared to face the national media?”

The entire story is still unfolding and will continue to do so for weeks and months to come. Whenever breaking news happens, turn on the national televised media, sit back, observe what’s happening, take a few notes and ask, “How would I handle this?” Observe and learn.

Make Referrals The Right Way – Part 3

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1WomanExcited Lesson Three: Join a “lead” generating group. In lead generating groups, individuals usually pay an annual fee to become part of an exclusive business networking group. This means that only one or two individuals from specific industries are represented.

Lead exchange groups limit the number of members from various industries, like law, accounting, insurance, marketing, real estate or interior design, to name a few. Most groups meet weekly, bi-weekly or monthly with the specific intent of delivering business referrals to each other during the meeting. Traditionally, the group as a whole gets permission from the other members in the group to share their names with anyone they come in contact with who might be interested in doing business with them. That’s different from randomly giving out names to other people without the other person’s knowledge (as you already know, I do not support that practice).

Some lead groups work better than others. Do your homework first. Get as much information about the group as you can. Talk to people who are already members. See if you can attend a function as a guest and observer. Carefully study who else is in the group. Make sure they are people you want to associate with before you commit.

For a lead group to work well, four key criteria must exist: 1. Mutual respect for each other; 2. Trust among group members; 2. High business standards/ethics; and 4. A generous or giving spirit. When those four criteria exist, the group will work well for you.

Make Referrals The Right Way – Part 2

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Email abstractYou have available to you the gift of technology to connect people and refer them to each other. The great benefit of connecting people using electronic technology is that you have a thread of the connection, easily accessible with the click of a mouse.

Lesson Two: Make e-connections. I have met many colleagues who are in the same fields of work as I am – training, speaking, coaching, facilitation and consulting. Occasionally, I will meet a new contact and discover that there is someone in my network who they “must” meet. In my mind, it is a perfect fit. In this case, I will send an email to both of them, and make an “e-introduction.” Within the body of the email, I include contact information for both of them (name, title, company, address, phone, email) and a brief paragraph description on each person so background information is provided in advance of their connecting. It is up to them to contact each other. The intent is not just of referring business to someone, it is also to bring two colleagues together for mutual benefit. Try it. The result: People will respect you for your thoughtfulness. It positions you as a considerate business professional, one who is thinking of other people first.

Throughout the years, I have referred a number of people to each other through e-connections. People respond positively to this simple method because of the background information that is provided to them. Who do you know in your network who you believe needs to know each other? Get busy and make some introductions. Your colleagues and friends will look to you as a great resource and thank you for expanding their network of contacts.

Make Referrals The Right Way – Part 1

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2MenShakeHandsOne of the most widely accepted forms of reaching others is through a referral, those personal contacts that can help you locate resources, build a business or become more successful. Referrals are the most credible way to get other people’s attention. You can either refer someone to another person, or they can refer someone to you. It is a powerful way to expand your network. The personal connection opens doors much faster. Beginning with today’s post, and continuing for the next five weeks, I will share with you the top tips on making referrals the right way.

Lesson One: Contact your associate first. When you try to put people together, or match them up for business or social reasons, call or email your main contact first, and ask permission if you can send this person to them. For instance, I met a business woman several years ago who was new to our city. She and her husband had two small children, and they lived in an eastern suburb. A friend of mine, also a business woman and married with three small children, lived just several blocks away from the newcomer. I called my friend first and asked if she minded that I put this other woman in contact with her. “Go ahead and send her my way,” she said. It’s a simple courtesy, and it shows the other person that you are considerate enough to think of his/her needs and desire for privacy.

Today, it is easy to call or send a quick email to contacts, telling them there is someone who you would like to refer to them. It saves them the embarrassment of being caught off-guard when they receive a telephone call from someone they do not know. It positions you as a considerate, caring person with concern for the other person. Before you make that next referral, call or email in advance. Your thoughtfulness will be greatly appreciated.

Position Yourself as a Valuable Resource

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What kind of resource are you? Are you the “go to” person who people come to for specific information? Most importantly, how are you positioning yourself as a valuable resource within your company or organization?

Professionals who invest the time to develop their abilities, skills and talents as a valuable resource are rewarded with more challenging project work, greater responsibilities and career advancement.

There are two ways to serve as a resource: Know the information that you are sharing and know the places to go for information.

When I started my first job out of college, I worked for an organization with a research department. I learned over time that one of the best resources within the organization was a woman who worked within the research department. If Ann didn’t know the answer immediately, she knew exactly where to go for the information. And isn’t that what a researcher does? I once got some ink on a white skirt. Ann knew the exact product to remove that ink! She earned the reputation as the go to person. She taught me early on in my career that each and every one of us can develop our ability to serve as a valuable resource within our company or organization.

Let me be clear about one thing: There is a big difference between a resource and a “know it all.” A “know it all” possesses a healthy ego, can be arrogant at times, can disregard your opinion as being inferior, and often forces information on you when you didn’t ask for it. A resource, on the other hand, provides the right information at the right time, considers the other person’s thoughts and opinions, and remains open, nonjudgmental and helpful. The aim of a resource is to provide appropriate assistance in the most direct and thorough way possible.

Observe the type of information that people request of you. Listen carefully to their questions. You will then see how others view you – and use you – as a resource. To help you understand more about your role as a resource, ask yourself these questions:

  1. Specifically, what kind of information do people request of me?
  2. On a broader scale, what general knowledge do I possess?
  3. If the question is outside my expertise, what other resources could be helpful?
  4. What do I need to do to position myself more effectively as a valuable resource?

Next week I will share some ideas to get you started on how to position yourself as a valuable resource. Until then, get busy answering the above questions.

 

Define Your Personal Style

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What makes you unique or distinctive? Every person has his or her own personal style that cannot be duplicated by anyone else. How are you defining your style? Here are a few ideas:

Hone your interpersonal skills. Look at how you contact, thank, remember or follow up with people. What do you do that sets you apart from others?

Keep in touch…for no reason at all. One of our longtime friends, Richard, has amused and touched us over the years with his thoughtful and often unexpected handwritten notes, cards and telephone calls. It is so endearing because he consistently keeps in touch.

Acquire an interesting hobby. If you are a manager during the day, you could become someone quite different in the evening or on the weekends. Are you a ballroom dancer? Do you compete in marathons? Have your prized perennials won awards at the County Fair? Who are you besides the person who comes to work every day? That’s what makes you unique.

Thank someone in a creative way. Imagine my surprise when I received a hand-written thank you note with a small enclosure – an herbal tea bag. It came from a colleague I met online. We had both submitted productivity tips to an online publication. She sent an email asking for more details and examples. I quickly replied. A few days later, her thank you note arrived in my mailbox. That small gesture captured her style: Thoughtful. Sincere. Unique. Creative. And of course…memorable.

Remember: Everything you do positions you. How does your personal style position you?

Practice the Greatest Networking Mind Shift

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“What do you do?” is the most common question people ask when they meet someone new. What do you think about these four words? How do they make you feel..as you ask the question or as someone asks it of you? It’s very limiting, narrowly focused and impersonal. Let’s analyze this question:

What is directed to what the person does, not who the person is.

Do you…

Do is career focused and reflects an interest only in position and status. When you meet someone who is in transition or between jobs, or does not work, you put that person in an awkward position. Without thinking, the question could be demeaning to the other person. Let’s create a mind shift and change this phrase to “Tell me about yourself.”

Tell me encourages action; you want to hear about that person.

About

Yourself The focus is on the other person…not just the person’s career…what a concept!

Try this the next time you attend a function. You will be surprised by the responses. People will be delighted that you are interested in them. As you say this new phrase, remember:

  • It focuses on the other person, not on you
  • It allows you more topics to discuss
  • It provides the other person with a choice of what to discuss

Networking is about building relationships, not just collecting business cards. When you see people at future events, they will know you are interested in them, not just their title or job function.

Be On Purpose – Part 4

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In this final installation of being on purpose, here is one last mantra for you to embrace: “Everything I do positions me as a true professional.” That means that everything about you determines your level of professionalism, like how you interact with others, how you dress, your attitude or how you respond to crisis or change. To me, the word professional represents a person who sets – and lives by – high standards, someone who delivers quality results, and  is considerate of others. It’s not necessary only to have a white collar job to be considered as a professional. Anyone can be professional. It has more to do with one’s character than it does job status or income level. Anyone who comes in contact with customers or clients can benefit from some pointers in “Professionalism 101.” Consider initiating an open dialogue with your work team or employees on the topic by asking questions like, “How do you define professionalism?”, “What benefit could greater professionalism bring to us as individuals and to our company?”, “What type of behavior does a professional demonstrate?” or “How can we treat our customers or clients more professionally?” You may be surprised where the conversation leads you.