Category Archives: Authenticity

Is It Any Wonder, Stevie?

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StevieWonderIs it any wonder that a blind man can show others how to open their eyes and see the world with compassion, joy and love? Acclaimed songwriter, singer and 22-time Grammy Award winner Stevie Wonder was honored recently for his musical genius spanning more than five decades. His messages of acceptance, understanding and love have taught generations to face inequality, injustice and indignity with unified strength and grace.

His honest interpretation of the world as he saw it encouraged people of color to stand up and let their voices be heard. To the audience of privilege and perfection, he exposed them to the reality of life in the city for the poor, the forgotten and the invisible. His music range, as a solo artist, is unparalleled. He wrote openly of indifference. He wrote of political action and justice. He wrote so eloquently of love, birth and renewal. He wrote songs of hope, light and possibilities.

I remember watching “Little Stevie Wonder” perform Fingertips on the Ed Sullivan Show when I was growing up. His passion for the music, his gyrations to the crisp notes flying from his harmonica made me stop and notice. He was just two years older than me, and already a force to be reckoned with. Nothing stopped him from sharing his musical messages with the masses. He remains one of the most beloved artists – and greatest crossover artists – of all time.

My husband, Mark, and I have shared a love of Stevie Wonder’s music over the decades of our relationship. To this day, Ribbon in the Sky remains my all-time favorite. Mark’s favorite (and he requests it at every event we attend that has a DJ) is Superstition. When we finished watching the CBS-TV broadcast on Monday night, I turned to Mark and said, “We need to play Stevie Wonder’s music more often!” He nodded in agreement.

There are so many lessons we can learn from Stevie Wonder. For me, the greatest lesson he has demonstrated: Lead by example. He is a man who has remained authentic throughout his entire life. He has shared his vision of a peaceful planet with millions of people around the world. He remains an inspiration to us all and a cherished national – and international – treasure. Rock on, Stevie!

 

Do You Trick or Treat?

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TrickOrTreatThat favorite annual holiday – Halloween – is upon us. It got me thinking about how in our everyday lives we are capable of either tricking or treating others. Which do you do?

Trick

Do you trick people into thinking you are someone who you are not? Do you deliberately put on airs and misrepresent yourself to others? It’s time to take a long, hard look at yourself, and understand why you do this. Reveal your true authentic self for others to see.

Do you trick yourself into believing that you are not worthy? When you suffer from The Imposter Syndrome, you trick yourself into thinking that you are not as good as you really are and you are afraid that others will find out you’re not as good as they think you are. It’s time for a reality check and focus on feeling good about yourself and feeling worthy.

Do you trick others by compromising quality or taking short cuts? When you give 100% of yourself and do quality work, you demonstrate your integrity and gain credibility in the process.

Do you serve up tricks by being light hearted and funny? See? Not all tricks are bad. There are good tricks as well. When you can laugh at yourself and help others to laugh too, people will appreciate your sense of humor.

Treat

Do you treat all people equally, with dignity and respect? This simple act makes a big difference in how others see you. The dignity and respect you show to them will come back to you ten-fold.

Do you treat other people like they are more important than you? When you let others shine and support them in their dreams and aspirations, you are putting their needs before yours. It positions you as someone who cares.

How often do you treat others? I mean really treat them? Whether it’s giving a server a slightly bigger tip, giving a gift to someone just because you felt like it, or picking up the tab every once in a while for no reason, you are letting your benevolence shine.

As you participate in the festivities of Halloween this year, think about the “tricks” or “treats” that you are doling out. How can you treat others like they have value?

Lessons From Joan Rivers

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joan_rivers_televisionShe had us in stitches for decades with her signature phrases like “Can we talk?” and “Oh, you don’t know!” With the recent passing of Joan Rivers, people are learning much more about the feisty blonde from Brooklyn. Behind every jab or zinger was a woman who truly loved life, warts and all. In fact, it was the warts that were the most memorable. Through it all were some simple life lessons. Here are just a few.

Politeness doesn’t pay. What did pay was her uncanny ability to discuss issues that nobody else would dare to talk about. Whether it was talking about a specific body part or fabricating a news flash, she would find a way to deliver her signature humor with great confidence and chutzpah. No topic was taboo to her.

Be an original. We hear a lot about the importance of authenticity and being yourself. Some of it is just babble. With Joan Rivers, she was the real deal. She not only walked the talk. She had swagger. While she attended a prestigious private college, she was the very antithesis of that lifestyle. There was nothing about her that was snooty or unapproachable. She didn’t put on airs. She was real.

Don’t take yourself too seriously. She encountered tremendous highs and lows in her life and in her career. She learned from life’s lessons and became the Queen of Self-Deprecating Humor. She reminded us all to laugh our way through life, to laugh at ourselves and to not take ourselves too seriously. I can hear her saying, “Oh, get over yourself!”

Do what you love and do it well. She felt most comfortable in front of an audience. It gave her tremendous energy and joy. She poured herself into everything she did. It didn’t matter what Joan did – stand-up comedy, (first female) late night talk show host, red carpet television critic, reality TV diva, Fashion Police TV show host or selling her fashion merchandise on QVC – she gave it her all and did it well.

Work hard, and smell those roses. It is well known throughout the comedy industry that Joan Rivers possessed an amazing work ethic. She worked hard. She also made time for her family. She worked side by side with her daughter, Melissa, as co-star in their reality show and as producer/co-producer in television ventures. She cherished her grandson and her close friends and always found time to have a conversation.

Be young at heart. When Joan Rivers won The Celebrity Apprentice 2 a few years back, she proved an important point: No matter what age you are, you can accomplish anything you set out to do. She ran circles around people half her age.

Small (just 5’2″) and mighty, Joan Rivers was a pathfinder for women and for female comics. No one will ever replace her. She will remain in our hearts forever.

Charlie Chaplin said, “A day without laughter is a day wasted.” Thankfully, Joan Rivers never wasted a day.

 

 

 

Thank You, Robin Williams

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(The B-A-L-A-N-C-E Series will resume next week)

http://scomedy.com

http://scomedy.com

Dear Robin,

I remember watching you on Mork & Mindy way back in the late 1970s, asking myself, “Who is this guy?” I had never seen – or heard – anyone like you. And I haven’t ever since. Your unique brand of comedic brilliance captured my heart the moment I laid eyes on you. You touched so many lives – including mine – and I wanted to simply say Thank You.

Thank You for being you. There is no one else like you, nor will there ever be. Your unique world view and your vulnerability drew us closer in to you. You held nothing back. For any person who has ever felt marginalized, bullied, alienated, abandoned or maligned, you reminded us that every person has value.

Thank You for spreading laughter around the world. Your incomparable quick wit, rapid-fire retorts and character impersonations transported us far away from the troubles and struggles of everyday life. You gave us permission to laugh and reminded us to not  take life so seriously.

Thank You for having such a big heart. You donated countless hours of your time to charity functions and social causes, raising awareness and millions of dollars for people in need around the globe. Your selfless acts of kindness have changed – and will continue to change – people’s lives forever.

Thank You for sharing the love. You treated each person as an equal. Even those you poked fun at, you threw those verbal zingers with love. The light that emanated from your eyes touched others who felt that love and energy. Your smile alone made others smile.

And Thanks…for the memories, as Bob Hope said. You stood on the shoulders of comedy’s giants (well, sometimes you took a flying leap from those shoulders) and brought your unique brand of comedy to the stage and into our hearts. Your legacy lives on in your children, in your body of remarkable work and in every person you mentored over the years. You remain in our hearts forever.

Na-nu, Na-nu.

In Angelou There Was an Angel

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MayaAngelouThe world is still mourning the loss of the humanitarian and inspirational leader Maya Angelou. Some might say she had too much talent for one person, for one lifetime, yet she wore each with uncompromising grace and dignity: social activist, author, poet, actress, dancer and advocate, an eloquent elocutionist, whose words mesmerized and delighted. While her commanding presence filled any space with resonant sound, she remained humble and one of us. She invited us to sit at the table and enjoy open dialogue and debate.

Maya Angelou’s inimitable, expressive voice accompanied me on a long business trip to Indiana a number of years ago. I felt like I had a friend along for the ride as I listened to Hallelujah! The Welcome Table. Through my own laughter and tears, she made the trip go by quickly. Her lived experience taught many lessons. While this international treasure is gone, her words and her voice will live on forever, inspiring and motivating people to live their lives to the fullest, to stand up for what they believe in and let their voices be heard.

As a tribute to one of the most influential role models in my life and in the lives of millions of others, I offer this simple tribute to the great Maya Angelou:

MotherSisterFriend to all whose lives she touched, across the miles and around the globe, she reminded us of the importance of compassion, joy and hope.

Angel on earth – it’s in her name – she embodied a heavenly spirit with words offering a protected, safe haven from life’s struggles.

Youthful enthusiasm for life, no matter what age she was, she looked to each day as a gift.

Abundant Acceptance of all people, regardless of age, nationality, gender, race, social status, income level, education or orientation.

Advocate for society’s nameless, faceless and voiceless; she recognized their plight and encouraged their voices to be heard.

Nurturing spirit, she guided us through the peaks and valleys of our lives and offered us an oasis of food for thought.

Grace, amazing, was her true essence, through which her every experience, revelation and celebration was revealed.

Eloquent words – volumes – embraced us and drew us into her comforting bosom for quiet reflection, a respite from busy or troubled lives.

Love and Light emanated from her soul, making people feel like they were worthy of loving themselves and also of being loved and valued.

Optimist for possibilities and potential, she rose above life’s burdens to reveal the strength and tenacity of the human spirit.

United Nations embodied in one person, Maya Angelou represented the collective conscience of our global society.

May her light continue to shine in each and every one of us.

Beauty: Still In the Eye of the Beholder

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This past weekend, I took my 93-year-old mother, who is an artist, to see artist, poet and former actress Kim Novak at a special public appearance at the Butler Institute of American Art in Youngstown, Ohio. Ms. Novak’s gentle spirit, both on the screen and off, is beautifully portrayed today through her exquisite artwork and poetry. Her inner light shines brightly. She graciously posed for photographs with admiring fans and stopped to give autographs. She stood the entire time, despite her age…81.

KimNovakandMomEdit

My Mom and Kim Novak

As I read her biography, I was inspired by the number of obstacles that she has overcome in her life and her tenacity to adjust and move forward. Two fires destroyed most of her artwork and a nearly complete book manuscript. A diagnosis several decades ago revealed bipolar disorder. Through it all, she adjusted and rebuilt. As I listened to fans talk about her, I heard one consistent message: “She is just as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.” Hearing those comments reminded me of the recent bullying attacks of Donald Trump, the media and the American public about Novak’s recent appearance on the Oscars. Society’s overzealous obsession with beauty and vanity were revealed through nasty social media posts, mostly about Novak’s face. Kim Novak fought back, sending a strong message to Trump and others: Stop bullying. I applaud her for her strength of character.

If more people looked at a person’s true beauty – what they see on the inside and how that person makes them feel – they would understand that beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. When you see things only at face value, you miss so much more.

After shaking Kim Novak’s hand and receiving her autograph, my mother smiled exuberantly and began singing “Heaven…I’m in heaven…” Artist to artist, actress to actress, mature woman to mature woman, these two strangers showed to each other mutual respect and admiration. And what a beautiful thing it was to behold.

How can you see the true beauty in others? The answer: Get to know people for who they are on the inside and take the time to understand their story.

Oscar’s Eloquence

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oscarsThe presentation style of this year’s top Academy Award recipients for acting can be summed up in one word: eloquence. There were no awkward moments, no lengthy or boring remarks that were read from notes, no fillers (“Oh my God”…”I don’t know what to say”…”I know there’s someone I’m forgetting”…”They’re telling me to wrap it up”), and thankfully no F bombs. This year’s acceptance speeches were refreshingly meaningful and heartfelt. Here are the high points and their lessons:

Jared Leto (Best Actor in a Supporting Role, Dallas Buyers Club): The first top winner of the evening, Leto’s eloquent remarks set the tone for the evening and also raised the bar for other recipients to follow. He shared an intimate story about a teenage woman (who he later revealed as his mother) struggling to rear two small children on her own in the early 1970s. Her determination served as a positive role model for him. He used the platform to acknowledge the 36 million victims who have been lost to AIDS (the focal point of the movie). His unselfish closing remark contained a powerful WOW factor: “To those of you out there who have ever felt injustice because of who you are or who you love, tonight I stand here in front of the world with you and for you.” The presentation lesson: Have a killer closing.

Lupita Nyong’o (Best Actress in a Supporting Role, 12 Years a Slave): With graceful radiance, this first-time nominee’s remarks complemented her elegant stature. She spoke of how her character, Patsy, a slave, guided her in this powerful role, and that she offered her Oscar to the spirit of Patsy. She also reminded children all over the world that “your dreams are valid.” The presentation lesson: Speak from the heart.

Cate Blanchett (Best Actress in a Leading Role, Blue Jasmine): Ever-gracious, ever-gorgeous in her style, Blanchett began her remarks with humor by telling the audience to “Sit down. You’re too old to stand.” Throughout her remarks, she thanked everyone in a light, humorous style. She used the platform to remind the audience that female-centric movies are more than a niche market; that they are profitable and audiences support them. The presentation lesson: Use humor tastefully; present messages that reflect who you are.

Matthew McConaughey (Best Actor in a Leading Role, Dallas Buyers Club): The framing of his remarks, with three short yet powerful messages, each with a personal story, made McConaughey’s comments real and memorable. Those three are: Someone to look up to, something to look forward to, and someone to chase. He ended his remarks with his signature saying, “Alright, alright, alright!” The presentation lesson: Add the power and punch of personal stories to core messages.

Each of these talented actors spoke from a heartfelt emotional place. Rather than using impersonal scripted notes, they chose to be fully present in the moment and speak with sincere gratitude and purpose. In your next presentation, speak from a place of eloquence and authenticity. Your audience will feel more connected to you and your message.

P.S. – If you want to understand how to hold an audience in the palm of your hand, watch the video of Bono’s performance. You could hear a pin drop when Bono and U2 performed an acoustic, stripped down version of Ordinary Love, nominated for Best Original Song from the movie, Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom. As Bono moved closer to the audience, kneeling before them, inviting them in, and hitting those high notes, it was…sheer perfection.

How Do People Introduce You?

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WordBalloonsWhen was the last time you listened – really listened – to the way people introduce you to others? If you haven’t, then it’s time for you to pay attention. When you see yourself through other people’s eyes, you just may discover something new.

What words to people use to describe you? How do they differentiate you from other persons? Part of my signature style is my favorite perfume, Tea Rose, a light floral fragrance that smells like – you guessed it – fresh roses. Imagine my surprise when one of my colleagues introduced me to a friend of hers by saying, “Christine always smells like flowers.” In truth, if I had to smell like something, a flower is it.

Listen for the word always. People will usually say something like, “Carol is always entertaining us with her hilarious stories” or “Bob is always the life of the party” or “John is always traveling to such interesting places” or “Pat is always reading such interesting books.” There are things about you that even you may not see or hear. Listen to the words that people use to describe you and rediscover your unique personal style.

Discipline Delivers A Voice

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Viking Opera SingerOne year ago this month, I began this new journey called blogging. Prior to that, the word only was captured as an item on my rather large to do list. What brought it to life was discipline. Each week, I have written on a topic that is relevant to today’s professional. I’m still at it today.

Before I began the process, I engaged in a healthy debate with myself, asking questions like, “What are you going to say?” or “What do you have to say that’s different from everyone else?” The answer: Plenty.

During a conversation with my husband a few years ago, he asked the really big question: “What do you really want to do with your life?” I revealed a deep desire by responding, “I want my voice to be heard.” I didn’t know at that time exactly what those words meant. I also didn’t know that blogging would be a way for me to share my voice with the world.

We all have a voice inside of us that wants to be heard. A voice that is different from everyone else’s. A voice that is unique only to us. Our own voice. When we share our voice, we speak from the heart. Our voice can allow others to see our perspective, understand how we feel or open up the conversation. Our voice can be soft and gentle or loud and clear. Our voice can advocate for others or set ourselves free. Our voice can create positive change.

You have a voice. What is it that your voice wants to say? If you were to share your voice, what positive change could occur?

Image by Strauss/Curtis/CORBIS

Is Humility Hip?

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UnknownWith the recent announcement that Pope Francis was honored by Time Magazine as its Person of the Year, it begs the question, Is humility hip?

I doubt that the average person today ponders the meaning of the word humility much, let alone embraces its virtues. Society is more likely to reward materialism, greed, vanity and pride. How refreshing to know that there are still some people in the world today who not only value humility…they live it. The pontiff’s practicing humility demonstrates his concern for the greater good rather than living the good life himself.

Humility is defined as: The state or quality of being humble. Humble is defined as: Having or showing a consciousness of one’s shortcomings; lowly; unpretentious; to lower in condition or rank; to lower in pride; make modest. (Reference: Webster’s New World Dictionary).

Consider how different the world would be if leaders practiced humility. For one thing, they would admit their flaws, their mistakes, their humanity. They would practice transparent communication and eliminate hidden agendas. They would lead by example. They would think of others first. Rather than tell us how great they are, they would recognize and reward greatness in everyone. As a result, we could come together on common ground and work in the spirit of collaboration and cooperation. It would be like a breath of fresh air.

I, for one, support the notion that humility is hip. It would be grand to live in a world where humility is king (or Pope). It begins with self-reflection and one question: How am I practicing humility in my life?