Category Archives: Professional Presence

The Pro’s Code: Use Appropriate, Consistent Behavior

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Part 12 in a series on professionalism.

Criteria 12: Appropriate, consistent behavior. Knows the limits, and sets those boundaries. Is mindful of temper and behavior.

images-2When I was in elementary school, excellence was acknowledged with a gold star. When you received two, three or ten gold stars, you knew you were performing consistently well.

What if we could give gold stars in the workplace for best behavior? Consistently good behavior? Would that small visual symbol change the way we see ourselves as an employee, contributor or leader?

High potential employees who are being groomed for senior management positions are chosen because they practice appropriate, consistent behavior. The higher up in the organization you go, the greater the responsibility for managing and motivating others. You can’t be irrational or erratic like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Those are the people who are in a good mood one moment and in a foul mood the next. You never know who you are going to encounter, Jekyll or Hyde. This type of behavior from a senior manager impacts performance and morale. That’s why companies look for people who know how to set boundaries and are consistent in their behavior.

No matter where you go or what you do, people are watching you, silently observing how you lead a meeting, interact with others, motivate your work team or handle a crisis. They also observe you online through social media platforms like LinkedIn, Facebook or Twitter. Are your comments or content helpful to others (posting a link to an article on leadership) or repetitive rants and emotional outbursts on any given topic? Rather than being called a hothead, whiner, control freak or immature baby, wouldn’t you prefer being described as a team player, bridge builder, innovator or class act? It’s up to you.

The gold star equation is quite simple:

Appropriate + consistent behavior = career advancement.

The Pro’s Code: Be Humble

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Part 11 in a series on professionalism.

Criteria 11: Be humble. Not boastful, self-important or arrogant.

UnknownIn December, 2013, I created a blog post on the topic of humility. It fits so perfectly into my series on professionalism, it deserves repeating.

When Time Magazine honored Pope Francis as its Person of the Year, it begged the question, Is humility hip?

I doubt that the average person today ponders the meaning of the word humility much, let alone embraces its virtues. Society is more likely to reward materialism, greed, vanity and pride. How refreshing to know that there are still some people in the world today who not only value humility…they live it. The pontiff’s practicing humility demonstrates his concern for the greater good rather than living the good life himself.

Humility is defined as: The state or quality of being humble. Humble is defined as: Having or showing a consciousness of one’s shortcomings; lowly; unpretentious; to lower in condition or rank; to lower in pride; make modest. (Reference: Webster’s New World Dictionary).

Consider how different the world would be if leaders practiced humility. For one thing, they would admit their flaws, their mistakes, their humanity. They would practice transparent communication and eliminate hidden agendas. They would lead by example. They would think of others first. Rather than tell us how great they are, they would recognize and reward greatness in everyone. As a result, we could come together on common ground and work in the spirit of collaboration and cooperation. It would be like a breath of fresh air.

I, for one, support the notion that humility is hip. It would be grand to live in a world where humility is king (or Pope). It begins with self-reflection and one question: How am I practicing humility in my life?

The Pro’s Code: Be Confident

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Part 10 in a series on professionalism.

Criteria 10: Confident. Shows high confidence in abilities.

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The White House

For some, being confident is simply part of who they are. They were “born” confident. For others, finding one’s own confidence can be a painful process. The good news is that at any stage of your life, you can build self-confidence. It begins with believing in yourself and your abilities.

One contemporary leader who exudes confidence is First Lady Michelle Obama. Since assuming this position in 2009, Michelle Obama has shattered old thinking and expanded the role of First Lady in a dynamic, caring way. She used a relatively new designer, Jason Wu, to create her memorable inaugural wardrobe. A big part of her style has included baring her arms in sleeveless dresses, something that is still talked about today in the media. Why? Because her biceps and triceps look amazing! She also had the confidence to take on important issues like education, health and wellness and the advancement of women and girls. The First Lady had the confidence to break out a dance with Tonight Show host Jimmy Fallon to launch her “Let’s Move” campaign to get Americans healthy. Other initiatives include Joining Forces in 2011, Reach Higher in 2014, and Let Girls Learn in 2015.

Confident people are doers and make a positive difference in their community, workplace, family and home. They don’t second guess their actions. Imagine what you could do if you put your mind to it.

Great thought leaders and inspirational speakers have told us “You can do it!” for decades. From Dr. Norman Vincent Peale’s The Power of Positive Thinking to Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich to W. Clement Stone’s Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude, these seminal books have transformed people’s lives. Try telling that to someone who feels “less than.” Less than perfect. Less than whole. One of the great lessons I learned from The Art of Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander was this: Never compare yourself to someone else. For people who see themselves as less than, their thinking begins with comparing themselves to others who seem to have everything they don’t. It’s deficit thinking. Confidence comes from within. When you believe in yourself and your abilities, remarkably, miraculously, anything is possible. To achieve professional presence, you must have confidence and carry yourself with integrity and grace.

Here are two tips that I share in my workshops:

  1. Begin and end every day in a positive way.
  2. Shift negative self-talk into positive self-talk.

Believe that you can do anything, have the confidence in yourself and your abilities, and you will experience positive results in your life!

 

The Pro’s Code: Be Diplomatic

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Part 9 in a series on professionalism. Criteria 9: Diplomatic. Handles problems, deals with issues with finesse and discretion. Maintains calmness even when engaged in the most heated discussions. 1FlagsThe word “diplomatic” usually conjures up images of high-ranking officials in the State Department or the United Nations who expertly know international policy, often serving as ambassadors or cultural attaches. Yet being diplomatic isn’t reserved just for diplomats. It is a welcome quality – and necessity – for any business professional. To be diplomatic, a person must be keenly aware of everything that is at play in the environment or culture and step lightly before any actions are taken. Other people’s feelings or concerns are considered before information is presented or important decisions or actions are made. Anyone serving in the diplomatic corps today must be qualified for the position, and the list of criteria is a long one. How are your diplomatic skills? The higher up the career ladder you go, the more important diplomacy becomes to your position. The picture changes as you accept greater career responsibilities. You may be responsible for a multimillion (or billion) dollar budget as well as hundreds or thousands of staff members. Decisions are more difficult. Personalities can be more challenging. Accountability lies with you. Try on for size – just for one moment – being more diplomatic in your daily work:

  • Present yourself with integrity.
  • Consider the needs of others.
  • Think through how to handle sensitive information.
  • Decide when – or how – to discuss a specific topic.
  • Have facts easily accessible to present a solid case.
  • Be aware of yourself, others and the environment or culture in which you are working.
  • Determine any potential areas of potential dispute and negotiation.
  • Choose your words carefully.

Being diplomatic is more than simply sparing people’s feelings. It requires integrity, grace and poise. How do you measure up?

The Pro’s Code: Be a Positive Role Model

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Part 6 in a series on professionalism.

Criteria 6: Role model: Is a positive influence on others…respected, admired and emulated by others.

USWNT 2015 FIFA Women's World Cup Champions

USWNT 2015 FIFA Women’s World Cup Champions

You may have met people or even admired them from afar and quietly said to yourself, “I want to be like (insert name) someday.” There was something about that person that made you think that. Most likely it was a specific behavior, skill set or ability that caught your attention. That person served as a role model to you.

Recently, Americans enjoyed seeing some powerhouse role models in action, as the U.S. women’s soccer team defeated the Japanese women’s soccer team on July 5 to clench the 2015 FIFA Women’s World Cup. The U.S. team honored two of its veteran players, Abby Wambach and Megan Rapinoe, by putting them front and center, holding the trophy high at the awards event. These high performers served as role models and leaders to other younger players over the years. The trophy was immediately passed to every team member and coaching staff because everyone contributed to the team’s successful win.

Somewhere out there, young school girls and college players are envisioning their future success. They aspire to be like the U.S. women’s team members and the level of professionalism they each demonstrate both on and off the field.

As a positive role model, you are fully accountable and responsible for your actions, done with intelligence and grace. You are aware that others are observing your behavior, so you don’t make any missteps. For a closer look at what it takes to be a positive role model, read the feature article on this topic in the June issue of my e-newsletter, Q Tips. It may inspire you to be a better role model to the generations following you.

How are you being a positive role model today?

The Pro’s Code: Be Trustworthy

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Part 5 in a series on professionalism.

Criteria 5: Trustworthy: Holds confidence with others; never talks out of turn, never gossips or talks about people.

Eleanor Roosevelt Credit: Eleanor Roosevelt Center at Val-Kill

Eleanor Roosevelt
Credit: Eleanor Roosevelt Center at Val-Kill

Thank you, Eleanor Roosevelt, for your profound statement:

“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”

Some of my most memorable conversations have occurred in the sacred space of meaningful dialogue, where I allowed others to openly share their thoughts and ideas and I did the same. It wasn’t small talk, chit chat or gossip. It was the meeting of minds on a new terrain of discovery. I came away from the conversations energized, uplifted and thinking differently.

To be trustworthy means that when people share information with you in confidence, it  remains in confidence; you tell no one. You have an uncanny ability to judge for yourself what is or is not appropriate to share. The professional who shares information in a confidential setting and then upholds that confidence commands respect from peers. If you begin a sentence with, “Let me share a little secret with you” or “You’re not supposed to know this but…” or “I heard that…” you dismantle your level of trustworthiness. Think before you speak or simply close your mouth and wait until you have something meaningful to say.

To be trustworthy also means that you do not engage in idle gossip. Gossip is the re-telling of a tale with an added negative spin. Don’t initiate it and don’t get pulled into someone else’s drama or ill feelings. If gossip that is generated by another person makes you feel uncomfortable, you have two choices. First, name it. “When you talk about Sarah this way, it makes me feel uncomfortable. I would prefer to talk about something else.” Second, redirect the conversation: “Tell me about your recent trip to Australia.” The person will get the message over time that you are someone who does not share a love for gossip.

Employers value employees who are trustworthy. In the workplace, defamation of character, which includes libel (false written statements) and slander (false spoken statements) can be grounds for dismissal or worse, legal action. Best to keep any negative thoughts to yourself and keep your job.

Don’t jeopardize your reputation and harm your credibility as a professional. When you  think certain thoughts and are eager to share those thoughts with others, ask yourself these questions:

Are my comments appropriate or inappropriate?

What do I have to gain by sharing these thoughts? Is it worth it?

How do my comments position me as a professional?

In building a reputation as a trustworthy professional, consider your behavior. You have more at stake than you may think. Following Eleanor Roosevelt’s lead, only you can determine if your mind is small, average or great.

The Pro’s Code: High Standards and Ethics

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Part 3 in a series on professionalism.

Criteria 3: High business standards and ethics. Maintains high standards and quality in all work.

Former House Speaker Dennis Hastert

Professionals who have the greatest influence are those who aspire to high business standards and make ethical choices and decisions. They hold themselves and others accountable to the same level. Consistent behavior and actions through honesty, authenticity and trust guide the professional to become a person of integrity.

It’s not just the excellent quality of work that people do; it’s how they conduct themselves with others that sets them apart. How would you answer the question, “What standards do you operate by?” What would make it to the top of your list?

Lack of ethics or low standards have been an ongoing topic of conversation for more than two decades, with the likes of Enron, Bernie Madoff and countless others making the headlines through bad behavior. Now, former House Speaker Dennis Hastert is in the hot seat. He faces allegations of making false statements to the FBI and being in violation of federal banking rules. His actions hid the real reason for making $1.7 million in payments of a total promised $3.5 million (now known as “hush money” to an unnamed source to cover up an inappropriate sexual relationship with a student while he was a high school coach and teacher more than 25 years ago). When given an opportunity to tell the truth, then tell the truth. The more that is fabricated, the bigger the lies become and the greater the severity of punishment or charge.

Here is a man who reached one of the highest offices in the country and appeared to operate by a solid code of ethics. The sexual abuse case isn’t even under investigation; rather, the financial case is being scrutinized by federal courts…it’s how he paid the money that set off red flags. The irony? Hastert helped to put the Patriot Act rules into place. Clearly, this case is creating thought-provoking conversations in business and law schools  across the country, as students ponder the all important topic of ethics.

All too often, people who get caught in a web of deceit and lies forget that ethics has no double standard. You can’t be unethical in your private life and ethical in your business life. It doesn’t work that way. You are either ethical or you are not. When you try to play the double standard, it eventually catches up with you.

Consider your own ethical beliefs and practices. Are you a person of integrity? How do you practice ethical behavior each day? Who among your colleagues are you holding accountable to higher standards?

The Pro’s Code: Credibility

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Part 2 in a series on professionalism.

Criteria 2: Credible. Has integrity and follows through on what has been promised.

CredibilityBookCoverAs a professional, you work hard to establish and maintain a certain level of credibility in the work you do. If you have no credibility, you have nothing at all. Why, then, do people who call themselves “professional” keep ending up in the headlines doing stupid stuff that dismantles their credibility? The answer: They aren’t really professional.

On the topic of credibility, I rely on the wisdom of James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner, authors of the book, Credibility: How Leaders Gain and Lose It, Why People Demand It. Kouzes and Posner have conducted longitudinal studies on the topic of leadership for more than 30 years. My dog-eared copy of the book was added to my business library since it first hit the market in 2003. If you haven’t read this seminal book, then visit Kouze & Posner’s website, The Leadership Challenge, and order a copy of the 2011 Second Edition, along with the companion Strengthening Credibility: A Leader’s Workbook.

Kouzes & Posner asked people what specific behaviors they appreciated in leaders they most admired. Four key traits were revealed:

1. Honest

2. Forward looking

3. Competent

4. Inspiring

Combining the three traits of honest, competent and inspiring leads to what Kouze & Posner call source credibility, meaning that people believe you. This is the true essence of credibility. Each of these behaviors reflects an emotional connection. They represent how admired leaders make people feel.

dolezalSpeaking of honesty…in the news recently, Rachel Dolezal, (now resigned) president of the NAACP chapter in Spokane, Washington, lost all credibility as her true race, Caucasian, was revealed. She used a few props to portray herself as an African-American woman: An assortment of hairstyles and wigs, adjusting her skin tone to appear “black-ish” as some news commentators quipped, and posing with an older African-American man who she claimed was her father. When asked by an interviewer if she was African-American, she paused and responded, “I don’t understand the question.” What’s not to understand? You either are or you are not. She never admitted the mistake she made, nor did she apologize for lying to and misleading NAACP Spokane chapter members, the national NAACP organization and the general public. Remember, too, that the NAACP, both the Spokane office and the national office, have also lost credibility. Vetting someone takes a few seconds; in the click of a mouse, you can learn just about everything you need to know about that person. The NAACP selection committee would have understood her background better and known she was not qualified as a person of color to lead or represent the organization.

In Matt Laur’s interview of Rachel Dolezal on The Today Show, when asked about how differently things might have turned out if she had been more transparent, Dolezal said, “Overall, my life has been one of survival and the decisions that I have made along the way, including my identification, have been to survive and to um, you know, carry on in my journey and life continuum.” It got me thinking about two things: 1. Wouldn’t it have been neat to have Al Roker as the interviewer? I love you, Matt, but… 2. Dolezal’s motives became more apparent to me when she used the word “survival.” Ponder that one.

Back to Kouze and Posner’s book on credibility. In a section entitled “Scandals, Betrayals, and Disillusionment,” they say, “The most common reasons for the decline of credibility are the most visible.” In Dolezal’s case, her own visibility – both physical and professional – is the pivotal reason for the decline of her credibility. The truth simply caught up with her. Had she been transparent from the beginning, about her identification with (rather than her portrayal) as a member of) the African-American race and culture, her future may have looked a little different.

Credibility is one of those intangibles in life that can change from moment to moment. The credibility that you enjoy today has taken years to build. Why risk throwing it all way? Protect your credibility; it is one of your greatest assets. It is built on the foundation of your personal/professional character, and your competence as a professional. Never compromise your credibility.

 

You Are What You Meet

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Aurelien Rigart

Aurelien Rigart, Saint Flo

As a professional, you attend many public events, community functions and business trade shows. How do you show up to those events? Are you investing the time to make a favorable first impression with other professionals or are you there just for the freebies? Whatever you choose, it shows.

Last week I attended a popular annual business expo in my area. Being fully present in every encounter, I was more mindful of my actions. I enjoyed meeting  business owners and company representatives. I exchanged several business cards, registered for a few giveaways, received a few free items and enjoyed a few snacks along the way. The key word here is few. I also reconnected with some colleagues I hadn’t seen in a while. Throughout it all, I shared meaningful conversations. When I reflected on my time at the business expo, I realized that I had truly enjoyed myself because I brought purpose and mindfulness to each encounter. I wasn’t just exchanging small talk and business cards with vendors just to load my free bag with free stuff. I was selective about who I spent time with. As a result, I can remember every face, every name and every conversation.

If you attend public functions just to load up on free goodies, you’re missing one crucial point: People are observing your behavior and watching you as you approach them. They are examining your body language and listening to your words. They are gauging your level of interest in them, their product or service. They know that there are many prospects and new contacts that they can begin building relationships with in that first minute of the conversation. All they want is an opportunity to make a connection with you.

How do you “show up” at public events? Are you engaging, dignified and professional while talking with people or specific vendors who you want to meet? OR Do you walk around the event with a bulging bag of free stuff and spaghetti sauce on your chin? What first impression are you making? Choose wisely.

Maximize the One-on-One Meeting

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thinkingIf you want to get the most out of a one-on-one meeting, be prepared with a “mental” agenda that keeps you focused. Here are some ground rules for getting the most out of your time with others:

Confirm how much time the other person has.

Understand their flexibility; learn if they have a meeting before or after yours.

Tell the person up front what information you need or would like to share.

Come prepared to either ask specific questions or share specific information.

Chat for only a few minutes at the beginning to get acquainted on a more personal level.

Discuss important items first, and leave any spare time at the end of your meeting to talk about any less important items.

I learned the hard way about maximizing the one-on-one meeting. I had invited a colleague to meet me for morning coffee to get “caught up” and also to talk about a specific area of her expertise. We spent the first 45 minutes of our conversation talking about our personal lives, issues, dilemmas, etc. She looked at her watch with a surprised look and said that she had just 10 minutes left before she had to leave and be back at her office for a conference call with a client. Now I found myself in the awkward position of cramming all of my questions into the last 10 minutes. I walked away from the get-together promising myself that I would never again let that happen. I learned an important lesson that day: Better preparation delivers better results.

When meeting with someone one-on-one, remind yourself that you have a limited amount of time to spend with that person, whether your intent is to collect or to share important information. Set up your meeting with clear objectives. If you don’t, the other person may be suspicious, because you are waiting until the last minute to discuss something important, or s/he may think that you have no reason for getting together, other than chatting and catching up on things. The last thing you want people thinking as they leave a meeting with you is “That was a waste of my time.” Professionals today are extremely busy people who work even harder at efficiency. Casual get-togethers with no agenda are fine too if it’s clear up front that’s how you intend to use the time.

As you prepare for important meetings, ask yourself a few questions:

What is the purpose of the meeting?

What is the main topic of conversation?

What information do I need to share or obtain from the other person?

How much time will I need?

What specific questions do I need to ask?

What are the next steps? Any follow-up needed?

When you invest the time in preparing for the one-on-one meeting, you will remain focused on your purpose and efficiency. People will appreciate your consideration.