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M370: A Deeper Message Went Missing

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PuzzleEarthEvery day since March 8, the unexplained disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 was featured as the top news story on every major network. Experts from every industry and background were called upon for their thoughts, opinions and speculations about what could have happened. Expertise came from the fields of aeronautics, aviation, meteorology, oceanography, geography, security, terrorism. Yet one area of expertise was missing: intercultural communication.

For me, the aha moment came eleven days into the search for the vanished airplane. The media reported that on that day, officials from Thailand brought forward an important piece of information about a signal that had been detected within their air space. When asked why this information had not been shared earlier, Thai officials simply responded, “No one asked us.” The viewing audience must have been shocked to hear this. However, I understood the deeper meaning behind those words. I have travelled to Thailand. It is a beautiful country with beautiful people. As a culture, they do not draw attention to themselves, and they have a high respect for authority. It made sense to me that they would not come forward without being asked first.

Throughout the extensive media coverage, there were no conversations about the challenge of working with 26 different countries who were involved in solving this mystery. Whether actively involved in the search by land or by sea or being within the speculated flight path. the countries involved in this mission have vast cultural differences.

Westerners watched in disbelief as a Chinese man kicked a news videographer’s equipment out of frustration and deep grief after being told that the latest evidence revealed that the plane went down in the vast Indian Ocean, even though there was no solid physical evidence as proof. This action taught a lesson about the differences between high context and low context cultures. Respect is a national value within China. With media descending upon the victims’ families in a photo-taking frenzy within this highly sensitive moment, no respect was shown to the Chinese families. High context and low context culture (also known as the iceberg model) is the work of Edward T. Hall, an American anthropologist who created the field of intercultural communication. China is a high context culture, where communication is less verbally explicit. This means that shoving a microphone in someone’s face, seeking a reaction to the loss of a loved one (in a public venue, no less) is an affront to that culture.

Dutch social psychologist Geert Hofstede, the founder of comparative intercultural research, created the cultural dimensions theory that recognized that people differ across cultures in specific dimensions of values. His brilliant scholarly research began when he worked for IBM in the 1960s. His work can be found on the website, www.geert-hofstede.com. He is one of the foremost authorities in intercultural communication alive in the world today. Yet no one called him for an interview.

Amidst the large story of reporting the day-to-day findings of this horrific event, another story angle was completely missed. To me, M370 provides a fascinating case study in intercultural communication and how countries that are culturally diverse can find a way to work together to accomplish one common mission.

Events like this remind us that we are indeed part of a global society. To maneuver our way through this vast, unknown area, we must honor and respect our cultural differences. When we learn from the experience, we must pass on our knowledge so that others can learn.

Spring Cleaning is Both Ritual and Metaphor

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Detail of a cherry treeWhen I was growing up, my mother took Spring cleaning very seriously. It was that one time of year when everything, and I mean everything, was cleaned. Walls. Venetian blinds. Floors. Closets. Cupboards. Carpets. It was both a cherished yet dreaded annual ritual. Cherished because it was a symbol of putting the cold, gray days of Winter behind us and opening up the home to the freshness of Spring. Dreaded because what child “loves” to do house work? My tolerance came from knowing that I would receive a slightly larger allowance that week for the extra work performed.

Rituals – like Spring cleaning – get us through life. They serve as milestones of what lies behind and what lies ahead. Another season is ending and another beginning. Another year has passed. When that ritual serves as a metaphor, that’s when it gets really interesting.

The activity and motion of Spring cleaning can be invigorating. Don’t give me that look. Hear me out. When you throw yourself into chores with complete abandon, each completed task leaves you feeling renewed and fresh, just like the home you are cleaning. Apply that action as a metaphor to your life, and see what happens.

What lies hidden in your closets that needs to be cleaned out? Old thoughts? Old beliefs? Longtime grudges? Dust off those cobwebs in your mind. Give your thinking a good scrubbing. Clean up your behavior.

Here’s a great exercise, and it doesn’t even require any real equipment. Imagine seeing a slate in front of you. With your hand, simply wipe that slate clean by making a light sweeping motion. Wipe the slate clean. It’s a fresh start, and an effective visualization tool. Apply it to any part of your life. Now imagine your old ways of thinking that can be swept clean.

With the Winter that we have experienced this year, we are all ready for Spring. What old thinking or behavior can you dismiss and free yourself for better days ahead?

Connect Across the Generations

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Courtney & Christine connecting

I recently found myself in an interesting position: Being the oldest person at my table at a professional organization’s awards event. Surrounding me were young professionals and college students in their 20s and 30s. As a Baby Boomer, I could have easily told myself “I don’t have anything in common with these young people.” That’s not my style. Instead, I considered it an opportunity to engage in stimulating conversation.

My conversation partner for the evening, Courtney, is a college senior majoring in marketing management/supply chain and a scholarship recipient. As we shared information during dinner, I was struck by her poised professionalism, intelligence and ambition. What impressed me the most: She is completing her fifth internship. That’s right. Fifth. With each internship experience, she has expanded her knowledge about different industries and marketing/supply chain functions.

I couldn’t help but recall some of the people who have participated in my communication workshops over the years. While discussing generational communication, invariably someone would say, “Generation Y has a sense of entitlement” or “That generation hasn’t had to work for anything…everything has been handed to them.” I wished those people could have been sitting with Courtney and me that evening. They would not have been so quick to judge her or her generation.

When you have an opportunity to converse with someone who is a generation or two younger than you, consider these simple tips:

Respect. When you show respect to another person, it will come right back to you.

Open your mind. Approach the conversation openly; don’t be judgmental. All too often, people make false assumptions about young people.

Listen. Really listen to their life experience. What is different for them? When it comes down to it, is there really that much difference between what they want out of their life and career than you did at that age? You had dreams once, didn’t you? Hopefully you still do.

Be interesting and interested. Keep the conversation moving between the two of you by being interested in what the other person is saying and by adding value to the conversation. Courtney was equally as interested in me, curious about my career path and life. We kept the conversation balanced throughout dinner.

Be open to new ideas. As I struggled to focus and snap our “selfie” with one hand, Courtney showed me how to use the volume button on the side of my iPhone to snap the picture. Brilliant! I welcomed the new approach.

I have mentored many young people throughout my career and will continue to do so. Anything that I can do to help launch their careers or provide guidance, I am willing to do. Courtney and I are now connected through LinkedIn and I anticipate great news and achievements in the months and years to come.

I learned a great deal about Courtney, her background, interests and dreams because we engaged in meaningful dialogue. What can you learn from someone who is younger than you? How can you open your mind and be fully receptive to the experience? How can you be supportive of their hopes and dreams?

Oscar’s Eloquence

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oscarsThe presentation style of this year’s top Academy Award recipients for acting can be summed up in one word: eloquence. There were no awkward moments, no lengthy or boring remarks that were read from notes, no fillers (“Oh my God”…”I don’t know what to say”…”I know there’s someone I’m forgetting”…”They’re telling me to wrap it up”), and thankfully no F bombs. This year’s acceptance speeches were refreshingly meaningful and heartfelt. Here are the high points and their lessons:

Jared Leto (Best Actor in a Supporting Role, Dallas Buyers Club): The first top winner of the evening, Leto’s eloquent remarks set the tone for the evening and also raised the bar for other recipients to follow. He shared an intimate story about a teenage woman (who he later revealed as his mother) struggling to rear two small children on her own in the early 1970s. Her determination served as a positive role model for him. He used the platform to acknowledge the 36 million victims who have been lost to AIDS (the focal point of the movie). His unselfish closing remark contained a powerful WOW factor: “To those of you out there who have ever felt injustice because of who you are or who you love, tonight I stand here in front of the world with you and for you.” The presentation lesson: Have a killer closing.

Lupita Nyong’o (Best Actress in a Supporting Role, 12 Years a Slave): With graceful radiance, this first-time nominee’s remarks complemented her elegant stature. She spoke of how her character, Patsy, a slave, guided her in this powerful role, and that she offered her Oscar to the spirit of Patsy. She also reminded children all over the world that “your dreams are valid.” The presentation lesson: Speak from the heart.

Cate Blanchett (Best Actress in a Leading Role, Blue Jasmine): Ever-gracious, ever-gorgeous in her style, Blanchett began her remarks with humor by telling the audience to “Sit down. You’re too old to stand.” Throughout her remarks, she thanked everyone in a light, humorous style. She used the platform to remind the audience that female-centric movies are more than a niche market; that they are profitable and audiences support them. The presentation lesson: Use humor tastefully; present messages that reflect who you are.

Matthew McConaughey (Best Actor in a Leading Role, Dallas Buyers Club): The framing of his remarks, with three short yet powerful messages, each with a personal story, made McConaughey’s comments real and memorable. Those three are: Someone to look up to, something to look forward to, and someone to chase. He ended his remarks with his signature saying, “Alright, alright, alright!” The presentation lesson: Add the power and punch of personal stories to core messages.

Each of these talented actors spoke from a heartfelt emotional place. Rather than using impersonal scripted notes, they chose to be fully present in the moment and speak with sincere gratitude and purpose. In your next presentation, speak from a place of eloquence and authenticity. Your audience will feel more connected to you and your message.

P.S. – If you want to understand how to hold an audience in the palm of your hand, watch the video of Bono’s performance. You could hear a pin drop when Bono and U2 performed an acoustic, stripped down version of Ordinary Love, nominated for Best Original Song from the movie, Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom. As Bono moved closer to the audience, kneeling before them, inviting them in, and hitting those high notes, it was…sheer perfection.

Olympic Lessons Are Plentiful

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olympic-rings-cool2I admit it…my 2014 Winter Olympics withdrawal is in full swing. Seventeen glorious days of winter sports events, full of pageantry, anticipation, victory and defeat. With every viewing came a lesson. Here are a few:

Silver is just as exciting as gold. US skeleton racer Noelle Pikus-Pace leapt into her husband’s arms with a radiant smile, shouting, “We did it! We did it!” She enthusiastically and proudly accepted a silver medal. She raced for her family, and this was her final Olympic competition. Often times athletes are disappointed to receive a silver or bronze. In this case, Pikus-Pace demonstrated a positive spirit and true grace as a medal winner.

Even a ponytail can Tweet. US figure skater Jason Brown, who dons a neatly coiffed ponytail, created a Twitter account…for his ponytail, some call a bronytail, reporting news and events from Sochi. A brilliant marketing move. If you are afraid to use social media, this proves that if a ponytail can do it, so can you!

Every hero has a hero. Canadian mogul skier Alex Bilodeau won the gold for Canada and for his older brother, Frederic, who has Cerebral Palsy. “He is my hero,” Alex says of his big brother. As Alex crossed the finish line, it was hard to tell who was more excited about the victory – Alex or Frederic. Alex won back-to-back gold in this Olympic freestyle sport.

Patience is the greatest virtue. Paired for 17 years, US ice dancers Meryl Davis and Charlie White gracefully and elegantly grabbed the gold, reminding us that all important goals in life are worth the wait. And speaking of waiting, let’s include two extremely patient and proud mothers.

When you fall, get up and keep going. When US figure skater Jeremy Abbott fell and crashed into the wall of the ice rink, the audience gasped, expecting him to limp off the ice. Instead, he slowly stood up, regained his composure and finished skating an otherwise flawless program. That’s class and determination.

Community trumps adversity. With the negative hype leading up to and surrounding the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia, the athletes in Olympic Village proved that despite differences, people of various cultures and backgrounds can get along. And they did. Isn’t that what the phrase “Olympic spirit” means?

As you watch the upcoming Olympics – the 2016 Summer Games in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil or the 2018 Winter Olympics in Pyeong Chang, South Korea – watch not just for the victories and defeats; look for the important lessons that spur you on as you compete in this wonderful game called life.

Photo credit: Photobucket.com

 

Have a Conversation With Your Audience

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GasStationYou are about to deliver that big presentation: A sales pitch to a client, a status meeting with the board of directors or a keynote speech at an industry conference. You think it’s a good idea to write a script and memorize it. Not so fast! Let’s think this through. When you find yourself in that position of creating and delivering an important presentation, remember one thing: Have a conversation with your audience.

One-on-one or small group conversations are never rehearsed; rather, they are delivered impromptu, without any preparation. You give some thought to what you are about to say, and then you speak. The opposite of impromptu is a scripted, rehearsed presentation. If you practice your presentation dozens of times, inserting the same gestures and facial expressions on cue, you could be perceived as too mechanical or disingenuous. Instead, rehearse your presentation enough times so that you remember the key points and any supportive stories, examples or anecdotes. Every time you speak it, the words will slightly change because you are remembering the framework, not a script. You will have a conversation with your audience rather than memorize your script word for word.

Having a conversation with your audience creates greater attention and intimacy. If you were sitting in the audience, would you prefer the speaker talk to you or converse with you? Conversing with your audience brings your material to life and results in more powerful messages and more memorable presentations.

For instance, I could say: While on vacation with my parents in Dubuque at  the age of five, I was accidentally left behind at a gas station. My mother used the excuse that she was preoccupied with a candy bar, yet, my opinion differs vastly. (A tad bit wordy and sounds too scripted)

Same Information…More Conversational: When I was five, my parents accidentally left me at a gas station in Dubuque. We were on vacation. My mom claims she was preoccupied with a candy bar. I beg to differ. (Shorter sound bytes; easy to grasp)

Listen to the language you use when delivering a presentation. Do you sound like you are reading to the audience or engaged in a conversation? How conversational are you? What can you do to become more conversational?

 

The Value of Vacation

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14068931-beach-and-tropical-seaStop what you are doing. Take a breath. Imagine that you are sitting in front of the ocean. Its vastness stretches as far as the eye can see. The sky is a clear blue with a few wisps of clouds. The horizon between water and sky blends almost seamlessly. The sun warms your body. The breeze is light and refreshing.You don’t have to be anywhere or do anything. There is no business suit to wear. No meetings to attend. No urgent phone calls to make. This is not a normal day for you. No, you are not dreaming. You are on vacation. You are living in the moment.

“I haven’t taken a vacation in a long time” you say? Why is that? Is it because you are too busy, too important or “the only person who could get the work done” to take off some time? Everyone is expendable to a certain point, and that even includes you. Whether you take off one day, two weeks or one month, build vacation into your annual calendar. You will clear your mind, function much better, and the people around you – both at work and at home – will be happier as a result.

In case you have forgotten, let me remind you of the benefits of vacation time:

Vacation provides a change of scenery. When you change what you’re looking at, it opens up your mind to see things differently. It shifts your perspective. Instead of seeing the same things, you will see something new and fresh.

Vacation introduces new experiences. Whether you travel to a new destination or return to the same place every so often, new experiences will be waiting for you. A new restaurant to try. A new beach to discover. A new museum to visit. A new trail to hike. Be open to those new experiences.

Vacation reacquaints you with yourself. Sometimes you lose yourself in work and forget who you are underneath it all. When you strip away the business suit and shoes, and let your bare feet feel the warmth of the sand or the coolness of the ocean’s water, you rediscover a side of you that you may have forgotten.

Vacation introduces you to new people and other beings. You meet interesting people on planes, boats and trains, in airports, at retail shops or tourist destinations. Some of my most memorable encounters happened while vacationing. I met Silver Hans on a train in Germany. I met a village elder, Kaki, in Bali. I met a wild horse with no name on Assateague Island, Maryland.

Why does it take a vacation to remind you that there is tremendous value taking off that time? Take out a pen and paper. Write “This year I am vacationing in…” Fill in the blank with one or several destinations. Select a time. Book it. Enjoy your vacation!

Right now, I am sitting by the pool in the Florida Keys, admiring a picture perfect day, soaking up the sounds, sunshine and positive energy, and sending this important message to you. I am having a wonderful time. How about you?

Dear Mother Nature: Thank You

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WinterHemlocksDear Mother Nature:

Thank you for reminding me that there are forces larger than me in this world; that there are certain things that I cannot control in my life. The weather is one of them. I accept that.

Thank you for giving me a reason to pause and reflect on the beauty of nature. During these times, I create a “snow meditation.” I simply sit, with crossed legs, and look outside to our snow-covered hemlocks (pictured above). I am transported to a quiet, peaceful place.

Thank you for snow. As an Aquarian, my love affair with snow has always been there. During my childhood, living in the snow belt of the Midwest, I thought it was normal to have a minimum of one foot of snow on the ground at all times during the winter.

Thank you for inventing Snow Days. What’s that you say? That wasn’t your idea? Are you sure about that? When I was growing up, there was no such thing as a Snow Day. We walked to school back then. I sound more like my father every day.

Thank you for reminding me how peaceful snow is. It feels good to hear the quiet of snow as it’s falling on my face and jacket. When I am fully present in that magical moment, I am one with nature.

Thank you for sending me a message of gratitude. Whether it’s the Polar Vortex or Winter Storm Nika that is rearranging my schedule, I feel most grateful for what I have. Many people are in need…of a roof over their head, food on their table or even spare change in their pocket. During severe winter weather like this, we need to reach out to our families, neighbors and strangers to make sure they are all right, to let them know that someone is there to help. At times like this, we look at both our individual and collective needs, as a community and as a nation. Let’s help each other and face the storm together.

Are You Managing Impressions?

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MasksScottChanFreeDigitalPhotosnetHow are you presenting yourself to others? What impression are you making? Sociologist Erving Goffman developed the social role theory, which states that we manage other people’s impressions of us by how we present ourselves to them. In his 1959 groundbreaking book, The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life, Goffman says that as we manage other people’s impressions of us (he coined the phrase impression management), we assume and play many roles, much like actors on stage.

Impression management is defined as “a person altering or changing his/her self-presentation to create appearances to satisfy particular audiences.” Goffman says that people are the actors “performing” on a stage, using a variety of props if they choose to use them, and that they can perform for an audience or just for themselves. The essence of impression management theory is that we all play various roles in our lives. We often play several different roles throughout each day.

Roles have certain clothing and accessories that accompany them. Think of the costumes actors wear as they perform. Some roles are more closely aligned to who we are underneath it all, and other roles are a far stretch from who we truly are. It’s why we often buy a new suit to wear to an important client presentation; we want to embrace the role of a successful business executive. Goffman also says that impression management can either “hide negative attributes or enhance a person’s status” or “increase or decrease a person’s position of status.” For instance, your role as spouse is very different from your role as supervisor at work. You may manage impressions less at home than at work because you have the freedom to be your true self at home. The roles that we play require us to wear masks. Behind the mask is our real identity. With roles come expectations. As a supervisor, for example, there are certain expectations that come with that role. For instance, it is expected that the supervisor will oversee the work of direct reports, will keep in constant contact with them to measure their progress, and will offer guidance when needed.

It is important for us to understand impression management because we assume so many different roles — business professional, volunteer, community leader, friend, spouse, committee member or neighbor — and so do the people around us. Some many people manage their impressions so tightly that they become something other than who they truly are inside. When managing impressions, remember to be your authentic self. How are you presenting yourself? How are you managing impressions?

Image courtesy of Scott Chan, FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Observe and Learn

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msnbc_cnn_logoNationally televised news media provides the ultimate positioning platform for any professional. When you accept an interview with CNN, MSNBC or NBC, you need to be fully prepared. When you are not, it can position you in a negative light. Think Sarah Palin. When she came onto the national media scene, her folksy Alaskan style was considered “refreshing” to some viewers, yet to others, it revealed a woman who was not yet ready for prime time. Her credibility was compromised. For late night television hosts, Palin’s antics provided an unending supply of material for parodies and comedy sketches.

On Monday night, Anderson Cooper, host of CNN’s AC 360, interviewed Hoboken Mayor Dawn Zimmer about her accusation that New Jersey Governor Chris Christie’s office used disaster relief funds to influence political favor. It was obvious that Zimmer is more experienced talking with local media from Hoboken than she is sitting front and center on the national media stage. She provided a teaching moment for anyone who aspires to be on national television. Observe and learn from situations like this. Here are a few teaching moments:

1. Know your key messages. Every media interview offers an opportunity to share your key messages. What are they? Are you clearly stating those messages to the audience?

2. Control your hands. It’s appropriate to support key messages with hand gestures. However, when your hands are flailing about, almost uncontrollably and repeatedly as you answer questions, you look like you’re unprepared and making it up on the fly.

3. Compose your thoughts before you speak. Zimmer started to say that she didn’t know who the head of the Dem…then stopped herself. We know she’s a Democrat. We know what she was about to say. We, the viewers, could finish that sentence. Oh my. By volunteering that partial information, she was dismantling her credibility as a Democratic leader.

4. Think before you speak. This is different from Number 3 above because it goes back to the source, the very beginning, the choice that Zimmer made before she stated her case and went public. This is ultimate power positioning at play. In the beginning, before anything is said publicly, ask several important questions: “What am I going to say?” “Why am I saying it?” “What are the consequences of saying this?” “Am I fully prepared to face the national media?”

The entire story is still unfolding and will continue to do so for weeks and months to come. Whenever breaking news happens, turn on the national televised media, sit back, observe what’s happening, take a few notes and ask, “How would I handle this?” Observe and learn.