Is Your Authenticity Showing?

Women in music rock on through She Is The Music

Women in music rock on through She Is The Music

There was something refreshingly different about the 61st Grammy Awards this year. Comic sketches and clever routines were replaced by transparency and honesty. It began the moment Alicia Keys, the emcee, stepped onto the stage. Her powerful authentic style set the tone – and vibe – for the entire event.

In her first year hosting the Grammy Awards (the first woman to host), there was a palpable positive energy in the room. It was all Alicia Keys. For anyone who has followed Keys’ career, it is clear that the performer today is a much more natural version of her earlier self. She rarely wears makeup, because quite frankly she doesn’t need it. Beyond that radiant smile and soulful eyes, her real beauty and power comes from her inner being. She is real, honest, and pure light.

I have been a fan of Alicia Keys from the first moment I heard her perform on the Grammy stage in 2002. Within her voice lies purity and purpose, clarity and emotion. She is one of those individuals who, once you hear her, you say, “This woman was born to sing!”

Each time she returned to the Grammy stage, Keys elevated the energy in the room. For me, the most defining moment of the entire Grammy Awards was that moment – and for those of you who watched the show know what I’m about to say – when Keys straddled two Steinway pianos to reveal her pure talent. Some times, she played both pianos simultaneously; other times, she shifted from one piano to the other. She demonstrated perfection as a performing artist.

It got me thinking about us as professionals, particularly, what happens when we enter the room, how people respond to us, and how we invite people into our space. Do you welcome conversation? Do you put people at ease when they meet you for the first time? Do you emanate positivity? Do you put your best foot forward? What tone are you setting? Are you representing your most authentic self?

Watching Alicia Keys in action – from standing shoulder to shoulder with former First Lady Michelle Obama to signing off for the night in a most inclusive, personal way – I was reminded that we professionals can certainly do a better job of putting our best selves out there when we boldly step out onto that platform or that stage, or enter that boardroom. When your confidence shines, you shine, and you command attention. When you draw your audience in, they will demand that you return (and of course, we all want Alicia Keys to return as the Grammy host next year!). That platform, stage, or boardroom becomes yours. You were born to be your most authentic self.

Image: She Is The Music

Need to Have a Conversation About an Important Topic? Watch a Movie!

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Photo credit: Oliver Cole for unsplash.com

“Wasn’t that a great movie?” I asked the woman who had been sitting one seat away from me in the theatre. “Yes!” she quickly replied. “I really enjoyed it. I could see this movie winning Best Picture at the Oscars,” I said. She agreed.

That movie is The Green Book. If you haven’t yet seen the movie, I highly recommend that you see it on the big screen. Everyone needs to see this movie.

The woman who I struck up a conversation with – and her friend – are African-American. My husband and I are Caucasian. We all agreed that everyone needs to see this movie to be reminded of the history of our American culture, and to give voice to centuries-old issues that we face to this day, like racism and inequality.

I could have easily walked past her after the movie ended. Instead, I chose to engage in dialogue. Pretty soon, her friend joined in, then two more African-American women, then another Caucasian couple. We formed a circle in the hallway outside the theatre, sharing our thoughts and feelings about the movie, and about our related life experiences.

When I served as a Graduate Teaching Assistant in graduate school more than two decades ago, the professor overseeing our Communication 101 course created the class syllabus which included the viewing and discussion of the classic 1957 movie, Twelve Angry Men.

I remember the conversation within my two classes, and how shocked I was by how little the students knew about the topic, about our justice system, power, persuasion, ethics and the decision-making process. It got me thinking: If you need to have an important conversation about a sensitive topic, let a movie guide you through the process. 

You see, watching a movie with a diverse group of people, like your co-workers, creates a safe space for open dialogue because you are first observing the story, then responding to its content and lessons. It provides a good starting point for a conversation. Most companies and organizations invest great time and money in developing leadership, management and diversity programs. A great way to enhance any one of these programs is to include one or several “required watching” movies that spark open dialogue.

Until this movie, I had never heard of the real-life Green Book. The African-American women knew, though. One woman shared her childhood experience. She and her siblings were traveling with their mother in the Deep South in the late 1950s. They arrived at a Holiday Inn late at night in search of lodging. Unfortunately, blacks were not welcome at that particular hotel. Fortunately, the woman on duty secretly accommodated the family by offering a small room on the first floor if the woman’s family could be checked out before 4:00 a.m. The mother agreed and was grateful for the kindness of the night desk clerk, so grateful in fact that for the rest of her life, she patronized Holiday Inns whenever she traveled. She never forgot the generosity of that night clerk.

The other Caucasian man shared a story about his Army days, traveling through a small town in the South with his fellow soldiers on furlough and the racism that he witnessed because one of the men in his troop was black. With some finessing, he and his Army buddies were able to get their friend the train ticket that he needed so he could keep traveling with the troop to their final destination.

What started as a simple question to a fellow moviegoer had now grown into a full-blown, enriching dialogue among eight strangers. Each one of us had different backgrounds, histories, and lived experiences, yet we found a way to look at and talk about the common themes in the movie: Compassion. Kindness. Protection. Equality. Friendship.

When you listen, and when you value others’ perspectives, you open up your heart to hear and acknowledge their voices.

What movie could you watch with your team? What conversation could you initiate that could open eyes, enlighten, and even change perspectives?

Murphy Brown: A Role Model Whose Time Has Come…Again

Screen Shot 2018-09-26 at 10.56.11 AMThey say that timing is everything in life. With the return of Emmy Award winning TV sitcom Murphy Brown, we will have to see. The revival of Murphy Brown, 2018 style, premieres on Thursday, September 27, on CBS-TV, at 9:30 p.m. ET/8:30 p.m. CT.

The original iconic TV program ran ten years from 1988-1998 and featured lead character, television journalist Murphy Brown (Candice Bergen). It became a must-watch for young women launching their careers and for aspiring professional women who wanted to break through the glass (or plexiglas) ceiling.

That was then. This is now. What has changed since then?

Well, if you ask many women today, they will say “Very little.”

When you review the broad spectrum of the women’s movement from the 1960s to today, you will notice that Murphy Brown is conveniently tucked between those two bookends of time. 1968-1988. 1988-1998 (Murphy Brown). 1998-2018. 20/10/20.

The early days of the 1960s women’s movement gained momentum with the hopes of passing the Equal Rights Amendment (ERA), which is still incomplete. Today’s women’s movement is still fighting for those original demands, like equal rights and equal pay for women, human rights, and peace, as well as adding other important topics like embracing differences, equality and rights of voters, and exposing sexual harassment, to name a few.

When I was a college student in the 1970s, I remember admiring a T-shirt that a fellow classmate was wearing. It was such a novel idea at the time. It read:

“A woman’s place is in the House and the Senate”

How interesting that in 2018, that T-shirt today is still selling. In fact, I found this exact quote on a current tee at a cool website, Teespring, offering timely tees that are designed, shipped, and printed in the USA. (I get nothing for mentioning this, by the way…I’m simply a fan of American entrepreneurism).

What is different today than in the 1970s is that women running for political office, whether local, state, or national, is at an all-time high. That’s just one example of the impact of today’s current women’s movement.

The timing certainly is right for Murphy Brown creator Diane English. She said in an interview that once she began writing the test script, the words began flowing. There is no shortage of hot topics (including politics) in the daily news feed. I will be watching and learning on Thursday nights to see how Murphy Brown does this time around. We know that she is feisty, opinionated, hard working, demanding, and a trendsetter and positive role model.

With just 13 episodes filmed for this first season, let’s hope, as women, that a bright light will shine on issues that are important to all of us. And if we disagree with Murphy’s perspective, well, it’s time to have the conversation one on one to listen to each other’s opinions. And when we’re finished agreeing or even disagreeing, then we’ll go enjoy a beer, or grab a game of golf and call it a day.

Are You True to Your Personal Brand?

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There is a saying, “Your brand is what people say about you after you have left the room.”

Two great American icons left us recently, and they leave behind a legacy etched into our national psyche forever.

Over the weekend, the life of Aretha Franklin, the Queen of Soul, was celebrated in high style in Detroit, her adopted city. At the same time, the life of one of America’s greatest public servants and statesmen, Senator John McCain, was being celebrated. How interesting that the lives of two people who were so different in career choice and personal style yet similar in the fullness of their lives, should pass and be celebrated simultaneously. Looking at their lives inspires us to look at our own.

As friends, colleagues, and relatives honored these two gifted professionals, I listened carefully to the words that they chose to describe two lives well lived.

Aretha Franklin’s interpretation of a song came from her heart and soul, deeply expressing the emotion behind the melody and the words. Yes, she knew how to rock steady. Her music appealed to international, intercultural, and intergenerational audiences. As her friends and family members celebrated her life, these are the words that stood out:

  • Talented
  • Soulful
  • Gifted
  • Treasure
  • Friend
  • Diva
  • Professional
  • Love
  • Devoted
  • Perfection

John McCain’s life story is an American story. He first chose a military life, then one of public service, working hard for the American people. He was admired and respected by colleagues from across the political spectrum. With John McCain, the theme that ran through his life’s celebration was pure American. Here are the words that reflect his life:

  • Patriot
  • Statesman
  • Public servant
  • Loyal
  • Values-driven
  • Integrity
  • Love
  • Funny
  • Dedicated
  • Friend
  • Hero

What did these two American icons have in common? Passion for their work. Love of people. Service to others. Authenticity. They each had an uncanny ability to bring people together – one through music, one through public service.

The American songbook would be incomplete without Aretha Franklin’s incredibly rich, diverse range. Her music stirred our souls. She could sing any genre of music and effortlessly switch from one to another. Aretha’s brand image was the Queen of Soul.

American society would not be as good and decent without John McCain’s political leadership. His work improved our lives. John’s brand image was American statesman.

Though physically gone, their life’s work lives on. Their names will be remembered, their voices will be heard, and their stories will be told for generations to come.

Those who spoke at both memorial services mentioned what a privilege it was for all of us to have lived at the same time as these two great American icons. Every now and then, we are reminded that we choose how to live our lives. To take the high road or the low road. To move forward or stay stuck. To live life fully or just skim the surface. To be positive or negative. To make friends or enemies. To share our gifts with the world or keep them hidden.

The next time someone introduces you to another person, listen to the words that person uses to describe you. You might learn something new about yourself. What will people say about you when you’re gone? What legacy will you leave?

Share Your Knowledge and Gain a Reputation as a Collaborator

Photo Credit: My Life Through a Lens for unsplash.com

Photo Credit: My Life Through a Lens for unsplash.com

As a professional, you have a level of expertise that is unique to you. No two people share the exact same body of knowledge. Once you acquire knowledge and continue to deepen it through higher education or certifications, it is important to share that knowledge with others.

Workloads and responsibilities continue to escalate in the workplace today. Help to shorten other people’s learning curves by openly and readily sharing information.

How do you do it? Here are a few behavioral shifts that can help you to actively share your knowledge with others:

Develop a mastermind group. During my mid-career years, I began meeting with a mastermind group (and have participated in several others since then). This choice made all the difference in my professional growth, because we learned from each other. For a primer on the topic, read my article about mastermind groups.

Mentor. One of the most fulfilling experiences in my career has been mentoring young professionals just beginning their careers. Before I mentored them, I gained valuable advice from my own mentors. Mentoring is one of the most powerful one-on-one relationships you can establish – and benefit from – in your career. Who could you approach as a mentor? Who could you help as a mentor?

Find a goal buddy. Meet with a colleague who you can trust to openly share your career goals. My colleague, Susan, and I have been meeting quarterly for nearly 20 years! We learn a great deal from each other, share information and resources, and keep each other on track. Who could you partner with?

Teach. There is no better way to retain knowledge and remain “fresh” in your chosen field than teaching. When you teach others, you deepen your understanding of the topic. What in your life have you mastered that you could teach to others?

Coach. Coaching has become a modern staple in the business world today. More and more, supervisors are expected to manage and coach their teams. Read my primer article on executive coaching.

Share transformational books with others. One of my longtime clients encourages his management team each year to read several best-seller books on appropriate topics like leadership, communication, or teamwork. The team openly discusses content at monthly meetings. This simple act creates a collaborative mindset in the workplace.

Transfer knowledge. Companies are investing more resources in knowledge management methods to ensure that the collective knowledge in a company, division, or department remains intact even while employees come and go. What is the collective wisdom in the area you manage? How are you capturing and managing that knowledge?

Share knowledge. People who share their knowledge with others position themselves as people who want others to succeed. Don’t be stingy with your expertise. Who can you share your knowledge with? How much better could they perform their jobs with additional information?

Shift from knowledge to wisdom. Wisdom comes from gaining important lessons from your lived experiences and applying that wisdom to future lived experiences. An Aboriginal saying wisely states, “The more you know, the less you need.”

When you create a framework of sharing and managing knowledge, and encouraging and modeling open communication, you will earn the reputation of creative collaborator with senior management, your team, and peers across your organization.

Wimbledon 2018 Inspires Professionalism In Action

Photo credit: rawpixel for unsplash.com

Photo credit: rawpixel for unsplash.com

Beyond the athletic feats, moments of tension, and unexpected twists and turns throughout the Wimbledon 2018 tennis championship games, one thing stood out most prominently to me: The level of professionalism presented by the players.

We all know what it takes to be a professional, yet, sometimes we need to be reminded of (or even share an article or blog post on the topic) what it takes to be a professional, and what it looks like when you see it in action.

And there was a lot of action in this year’s tournament. A lot of slipping and sliding on the grass in Centre Court. Many audible gasps from the crowd. Every step of the way, professionalism was there.

Let Wimbledon 2018 inspire you to push your level of professionalism. Here’s what I noticed:

Focus. One look into the eyes of any professional player, and you could see that look of deep focus and determination. While players experienced being down…sometimes in points or in games, they persevered and remained focused. How do you remain focused when you are under tremendous pressure?

Grace. There was no stomping off the court, huffing, puffing, swearing, or racket smashing. Those days (hopefully) are over in professional tennis. Instead, there was an intensity of intention. Winners and losers exhibited great grace. When Serena Williams was asked about her finals match with Angelique Kerber of Germany, she spoke of her opponent with grace and true admiration. As they embraced on Centre Court after Kerber’s win of the ladies’ singles title, you could see that the two players admire and respect each other. During interviews, they spoke of their respect for one another. How do you demonstrate grace?

Self-motivation. The key phrase that many tennis players repeat after executing an exceptionally fine play is “Come on!” It becomes a mantra to push them through to the next play and hopefully a win. When you find yourself faced with what may seem like insurmountable challenges, push yourself by silently saying “Come on!” Your motivation may inspire others.

Mastery. Those professionals who reach the top of their game are those who have put in tens of thousands of hours to master their skill. Seeing Wimbledon’s players in action, they remind us of what it takes to reach the master level. What else do you need to do to continue improving your mastery?

Match-Up. No matter the sport, the true mettle isn’t tested until the match-up occurs. It takes a while to figure out what the other person’s or other team’s strengths are. Then you have to decide on how to play to those strengths. We saw it at Wimbledon this year. Some of the matches were brutal, like the match between John Isner and Kevin Anderson, which lasted nearly seven hours. Anderson went on to compete in the men’s singles final and lost to Novak Djokovic. Consider your own match-ups through your work team, project teams, or special committees. What adjustments must be made to improve performance? Are there better match-ups ahead for you?

While your daily challenges and pressures in the workplace may pale by comparison to those of Wimbledon, let the championship game inspire you to stretch your potential as a professional. With proper focus, grace, self-motivation, mastery, and match-up, you can experience your own version of a Centre Court victory.

Celebrate Independence as a Core Value

Photo credit: Kendrick Mills for unsplash.com

Photo credit: Kendrick Mills for unsplash.com

Every year in the United States, we citizens celebrate Independence Day on July 4. On this day in 1776, members of the Continental Congress signed and enacted the United States of America’s Declaration of Independence from British Empire rule. At the time, there were just 13 states, and those states pulled away from Great Britain as a sign of freedom, independence, and democracy.

Most Americans look forward to this day every year because of the parades, picnicking, eating their favorite foods, and of course, must-see fireworks displays. We gorge ourselves on food when what we need instead is a healthy serving of appreciation for what independence truly means.

For me, independence is one of my top core values. I love my independence as a woman, a second generation American, an entrepreneur, a community volunteer, and a creative spirit. I am also an independent thinker.

When my parents took my older siblings and me to watch the fireworks display or ignite our own sparklers in our front yard on the Fourth of July, I had no idea what we were celebrating. Growing up, I just knew it was a lot of fun.

Now that I’m older, I value my independence even more. With that independence also comes responsibility. I can choose to work where I want, live where I want, be friends with whomever I wish, come and go as I please, support whatever causes I want, share my voice, express myself, and live my life as fully as I can. Take any of this away from me, and I am diminished. I feel less than. Not every person enjoys the same sense of independence as I do. I would love to see that change so that all Americans felt safe in sharing their voices, without ridicule or disrespect. Every American deserves the right to benefit from America’s Founding Documents, The Declaration of Independence, The Constitution, and The Bill of Rights. We need to do better. In our workplaces and in our communities, we must value each other’s choices and voices. We must continue to fight for equality and what is right and just for all people.

As you gather around the campfire or picnic table today, ask yourself, “What do I value the most about my independence?” Be grateful that you live in a country that allows you to be independent. Appreciate it and value it for what it is today.

Give Your Vocabulary a Power Boost

Photo credit: Jeremy Beck for unsplash.com

Photo credit: Jeremy Beck for unsplash.com

Do you really listen to the words you use when you speak? You get so used to hearing your own voice, you could forget the words you choose or their meaning. With a little effort, give your vocabulary a power boost. In the process, position yourself as a knowledgeable professional.

Time is money. Every second is precious. Less is more. That’s why professionals speak in sound bytes. Here are a few tips to help you pack more punch into what you say:

Use simple words. Ask professionals what they prefer when communicating with other people, and they will undoubtedly say, “Be direct…Give me the facts…Don’t beat around the bush.” Some people lose the listener because they talk around issues or they talk over other people’s heads. People come away asking, “What did that person say?” Be clear and concise. Choose your words carefully. Which word gets to the point faster? Parsimonious or stingy? One of my colleagues shared an example: Eager to have lunch served quickly at a business meeting, my friend asked the waiter to “expedite” the order. The confused waiter returned a few minutes later asking what the word meant. Use language that is appropriate to the listener. Words with five syllables are more likely to be misunderstood than shorter words. Be careful you’re not using those big words only to impress.

Be specific. Professionals appreciate specific information that helps them understand your perspective. If you’re in sales, for instance, it’s better to say that your products are used by nurses, not workers in the healthcare industry. Information becomes clearer when you provide more details. Management team is more specific than work team. Fortune 500 CEO is more descriptive than company leader. Broad descriptions can sometimes defeat your purpose.

Use action verbs. Passive verbs simply state that you were, are, or will be doing something. Action verbs are direct and show motion. Let’s look at an example. You are presenting to a potential client. You want to show your qualifications for handling the client’s business, so you say, “I was the vice president of marketing for the Harper Company.” The sentence is weak because was is a passive word. By changing your comment to, “I directed the $2 million marketing campaign for the Harper Company,” the sentence has more impact. It’s easy to say, “I have 40 representatives working for me.” Want more power? Change it to, “I manage 40 representatives.”

Paint a picture with descriptive words. Let’s say you are encouraging team members to use a new time management app. You could outline the features (full calendar access, information sharing, reminders, notices, color coded tasks, etc.) or you could paint a visual picture outlining the benefits. “Imagine tracking productivity throughout every work day, staying focused, and seeing what you have accomplished. The XYZ app does that.” The key starter word here is imagine. That one word allows the team member to visualize a more productive, efficient work life.

Avoid jargon. Professionals often get stuck in the verbal “trend zone.” You have heard them all, and you have used them at one time or another. Paradigm shift. Empowerment. Interface. Awesome. Totally. Rubrics. Drill down. Robust. Bandwidth. Whatever. Transparency. The problem with jargon is that it is overused and unoriginal. Don’t use jargon as a crutch. Jargon is a sign of the times; it is not timeless. If you use outdated jargon, you risk positioning yourself as someone who is not in the know. Also, be careful you don’t sound like a surfer dude or valley girl during those important client presentations.

What are you going to do about it? Your first step: Read this short, helpful article by Minda Zetlin, Want a Bigger Vocabulary? Try These 7 Mobile Apps.

Words help to shape your world. In business, you can change the perceptions of your clients, co-workers, and the C-Suite by choosing words that make your messages more powerful.

Value and Appreciate Face-to-Face Communication

Photo credit: Abdullah Oguk for unsplash.com

Photo credit: Abdullah Oguk for unsplash.com

I had an experience recently that reinforced my belief that nothing can replace or duplicate face-to-face communication. Not a real time video connection. Not a real time phone conversation. Not any form of technology. Face-to-face communication continues to be the most intimate form of communication, hands down, for two reasons:

First, nonverbal cues are a necessary component of communication. Face-to-face communication allows you to check the other person’s nonverbal cues to see if they support or detract from the message. Eye behavior, facial expressions, gestures, body movement, posture, appearance, and silence offer valuable clues to the meaning behind the message.

Second, face-to-face communication allows for the “dance” of going back and forth during the exchange, in what communication scholars call turn-taking. Each person takes a turn at sending and receiving information, of asking for clarification, and responding.

Recently, I made an email request to someone. The email was perfectly outlined, easy to understand, and all of the main points appeared with bullet points. As emails go, it was an effective email. The email response took me aback when my request was denied. The person recommended that we continue the conversation if I wanted to chat more.

As luck would have it, I saw this woman at an event. This, I thought, was the perfect opportunity to reinforce my request in person. Within just a few minutes, I offered her additional information, answered questions, and expanded on several ideas. As she began to learn more, her nonverbal cues relaxed, which revealed that she was warming up to the idea of granting my request. She even suggested a potential win-win solution.

It’s easy in a busy work environment to quickly send emails because emails are effective communication tools. Yet sometimes when we have experiences like the one I had, we remind ourselves that sometimes in-person communication is simply better. In my case, my request was better met by investing a few minutes in face-to-face communication.

What’s on your communication “to do” list that would be served best with a face-to-face encounter?

Professionalism Is No Laughing Matter

laugh-a-day-gives-results-that-pay-the-power-of-humor-in-the-workplaceActor Charlie Chaplin said, “A day without laughter is a day wasted.” I completely agree. Where does laughter fit into the workplace? Is it appropriate? Is it annoying? Does it depend on the situation?

While facilitating a presentation skills program recently, I noticed a “quirk” in one of the participants. Laughter. She was using laughter as a coping mechanism to offset her nervousness. The result: Her behavioral quirk detracted from her message.

Every time I called on her for input, she laughed. When she delivered a sample two-minute presentation, she giggled several times. As we met in a one-on-one evaluation session that afternoon, I shared my observation with her. I asked, “Is crying in the workplace acceptable and appropriate?” She immediately answered, “No.” I then asked, “What about laughter?” She replied, “Not really.” At that moment, I shared my perspective with her.

I explained to her that, as a young woman, she could be sending the wrong message by tagging a giggle or a laugh onto her comments as a coping mechanism. People may not be taking her as seriously. Instead of thinking of her as a professional, they may think that she’s a little goofy, or that she may not represent the company in the most favorable light when interacting with customers, or that she doesn’t have the maturity for that next promotion. “You could be sabotaging your own success as a professional,” I told her. She then explained that her husband had talked to her about the exact same issue. “How do I change that?” she asked me. The solution is simple: Change begins with self-awareness. Now that she is aware of this nervous habit, she can catch herself and begin changing. After a while, she will no longer tag a giggle onto the end of a sentence.

Let’s be clear: Laughter is good. Laughter in the workplace is good. Repetitive nervous laughter that detracts from your message is not good.

Do you have a behavioral quirk that – if done repeatedly – could be diminishing your professionalism? Do a quick scan of your behavior. Check for any nervous habits that are detracting from your message or distracting others. Once you become aware, you can and will change.